Quezilla, Above Top Secret

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Quote# 61406

I was watching that show Ape to Man on the History channel and it made me think of an interesting theory. Supposedlly our ancestors killed off all of the Neanderthals, but what if they survived. If several managed to hide underground, they would have evolved to look somewhat like aliens. This would explain them being 7ft tall. Living underground for thousands of years would also cause there skin to turn white and there eyes to get big. Humans living on earth would experience a de-evolution during the ice-age, and this would allow for Neanderthals to evolve faster. I have read on many forums here that there are supposedlly many underground tunnels that have not yet been discovered. If they are thousands of years more advanced than us it would not be hard to go undetected. They could have there headquarters in the middle of Russia or Antartica, and we would not even know.

Quezilla, Above Top Secret 18 Comments [4/14/2009 8:56:11 AM]
Fundie Index: 6

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#939460

ausador

Morlocks (Homo neanderthalensis) and Eloi (Homo sapiens) huh? Stop reading Ray Bradbury and read some modern sci-fi, there is a lot of cool new stuff out there.

4/14/2009 10:00:56 AM

#939464

aaa

Trippy.

4/14/2009 10:09:33 AM

#939466

JohnTheAtheist

Sure. Makes sense.

4/14/2009 10:09:42 AM

#939472

Arts_Myth

If hypothetical A, then hypothetical B, leading to hypothetical C under circumstances of hypothetical D. Considering all that, and allowing for hypothetical E, clearly hypothetical F is -- hypothetically -- feasible.

4/14/2009 10:19:21 AM

#939476

Zipperback

1: There are several common characteristics of troglophiles (cave dwelling species). Tall is not one of them. You have much explaining to do. anyway "greys" have been described as unusually tall and unusually short by differing testimonies of alien contact.

2: Why would the Ice age cause de-evolution? Sudden climate change is a major factor in rearranging the evolutionary path of a species as the catastrophic impact on the population causes harsh natural selection and the reduced gene pool causes favorable adaptations to be selected at an accelerated rate.

3: You have "...read on many forums here that there are supposedlly many underground tunnels that have not yet been discovered..." Then who discovered them? If you said there are many tunnels that are discovered but unexplored you'd at least have a little credibility.

It's an interesting theory, only in as far as it's creatively nonsensical.

4/14/2009 10:32:03 AM

#939482

practical_god

@ausador

Uh, that's H.G. Wells.

4/14/2009 11:24:05 AM

#939486

Norse Pagan

As far as I know Neanderthals had painted themselves into a corner, sort of. Huge cranium, making it harder and harder for women to give birth. Rudimentary speaking ability, making it hard to communicate over distances. Plus humans need sunshine to survive longterm.

And, for the umpteenth time, we did not come from apes, we and apes have a common ancestor, that was neither ape nor human, but a bit of both, m'kay.

4/14/2009 11:38:52 AM

#939500

ausador

@ practical_god
Oops...don't know how I mixed them up, my bad. :(

4/14/2009 12:28:11 PM

#939543

Robert Sawyer wrote some really good books about this a while ago -- perhaps you've read Hominids?

4/14/2009 1:31:47 PM

#939545

Lucilius

1. How many Neanderthals would be required to maintain a breeding population? More than "a few," especially if those were isolated in various underground locations.

2. What the fuck have they been eating for 28,000 years? Rocks? You try living in a cave, and tell me how much food you find. That's why cave animals don't get much bigger than crayfish – there's not enough nutrients to sustain anything bigger.

3. Ice age =/= "de-evolution." In fact, "de-evolution" is something you just made up. It doesn't occur, period. And how the happy fuck does "de-evolution" ALSO equal faster evolution? Or are you just off your meds again?

4. If all these tunnels are undiscovered, then how are you reading about them? Are the hidden Neanderthals also bloggers?

5. Just in case it hasn't yet become clear: You're a total fucking loon.

4/14/2009 1:33:11 PM

#939551

Table Rock

Sounds like the plot from a 1950s monster movie.

Come see the Attack of the Super Underground Neanderthals!
[cue theremin music]

4/14/2009 1:37:15 PM

#940076

Antichrist

Some people should not be allowed to read fiction or watch TV.

4/15/2009 9:30:04 AM

#940136

Grigadil

I ain't worried, unless of course those super Neanderthals have the Omega Device.

4/15/2009 11:01:14 AM

#940143

shadowraven

Ah! Neanderthals are the reptilians now?

Russia, you say? I always knew the Neanderthals were Communists, I just couldn't convince natural history scientists that. I suppose they pay all the tribe (hunters, gatherers, family rearers) the same wages in rocks when they get back to the cave?

Then the Fascist Cro-Magnons came in...

4/15/2009 11:08:48 AM

#940150

Philbert McAdamia

Ice age Devo? Cool.

Way cool. Are we not Neanderthals?

4/15/2009 11:14:03 AM

#940212

You can come up with this complicated scenario, but don't have the common sense to see the obvious problems with your theory?

At least he's not denying evolution, gotta give him credit for that.

4/15/2009 1:08:53 PM

#940350

WMDKitty

I have no doubt that Neanderthals are still around. We had one in the Oval Office for the last eight years...

4/15/2009 3:20:32 PM

#941878

Tearlich

WMDKitty: Please stop insulting the Neanderthals!

4/18/2009 4:19:45 PM