[In a thread about "If we can eat in heaven, can we also have sex?"]
1. Jesus ate after receiving His Resurrection body.
2. Marriage "Supper" of the Lamb (Kinda hints at food, doesn't it?)
3. Trees along the River of Life with 12 crops of fruit for us to eat.
We will be able to eat - if we need to is another issue.
1. Sex is for Marriage
2. The only Marriage in Heaven will be Christ and His Bride - now, not to be crass, if we were to have "relations" with each other, wouldn't that be considered adultery if "we" are married to Christ?
There will be no sex for those who have Resurrection bodies. For those still on earth during the Millennium, yes, they will have sex and repopulate the earth.
76 comments
Jesus ate after receiving His Resurrection body We will be able to eat - if we need to is another issue.
now, not to be crass, if we were to have "relations" with each other, wouldn't that be considered adultery if "we" are married to Christ?
I'm glad I'm not going.
What is this about being "married" to Christ? If they're all married to him that means they can't have sex as it's adultery, but it's ok for Christ to have a polygamous relationship?
I know I've said it before but they are all bonkers.
As if spending eternity in a paradise ruled by a fictional genocide loving, infanticide committing, slavery supporting maniac wasn't bad enough, there's no sex either?
I'd rather go to Hell in that case, Satan sounds like more fun.
For those still on earth during the Millennium,
Wait! Did something happen during the millenium? I was pretty drunk and might not have noticed!
""we" are married to Christ? "
Have they ever wondered if phrases like this allow Gays within their own ranks? They certainly have them, confused self-hating gays yes, but still gays who dream of being with Christ in a carnal way.
Note carefully that Man has been created by means of sex for countless generations. Note also, the sex was the means chosen. But sex in the supposed afterlife is a no-no.
Eating however, is allowed. Extrapolating from this, we cannot have sex now, even though it is the Divine means of procreation. However, gluttony, supposedly a deadly sin, is OK in the afterlife, so therefore it must be ok now. Something cockeyed going on here.
The final point, Kaian fra Bergen, how do you know all of this? The Bible? That most badly translated and mistaken book?
You are a dingbat.
"2. The only Marriage in Heaven will be Christ and His Bride - now, not to be crass, if we were to have "relations" with each other, wouldn't that be considered adultery if "we" are married to Christ? "
Maybe Jesus is actually Joseph Smith!?
If "sex is for marriage", and you're going to be "married to Jesus", there's a far more obvious conclusion than that it would be adulterous to have sex with anyone else, more obvious even than that anyone already married who enters heaven must necessarily embrace polygamy in order to also be married to Jesus; a conclusion which I'm sure you'd find so distressing that you've evidently blocked out its realisation completely in mental self defence, despite its direct implication from your starting assertions by only a single logical step. Need I spell it out?
Wow, I'm guessing the imagery and metaphors of Revelation just went right over your head, huh?
[sarcasm]I'm SURE it was all about how we can't have sex in Heaven![/sarcasm]
So, food yes; sex no, according to Kaia.
Hmmm. Who else suspects she a hugely, grossly, disgustingly, outrageously fat food addict and hasn't had sex for years (if ever) because she's just so damn fat and repulsive?
The only Marriage in Heaven will be Christ and His Bride - now, not to be crass, if we were to have "relations" with each other, wouldn't that be considered adultery if "we" are married to Christ?
Christ must be just fine with gay marriage, then, as approximately half of his brides are MALE...
@#946018
She could be skinny like a toothpick and the most beautiful woman on the planet - if I were straight I still wouldn't fuck her. It seems wrong to have sex with braindead people.
While your ultimate answer is correct, biblically, your argument is flawed. The best answer to this question would have been to quote Matthew 22:29-30:
"29Jesus replied, "You are in error because you do not know the Scriptures or the power of God. 30At the resurrection people will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven. "
It's sad when fundies don't know their own bible.
Then shouldn't you be celibate on Earth? After all, anything else would be "cheating" on Jesus, wouldn't it?
Seriously... I've read the Bible; you guys at RR make it sound even crazier than it was meant to be (which says a lot).
"If we can eat in heaven, can we also have a big-ass Ford 550 Supercab with the 7.3L Powerstroke diesel and a wicked-looking pair of Smoker® exhaust stacks?"
RedneckfromBumblefuckKentucky
1. Sex is for Marriage
2. The only Marriage in Heaven will be Christ and His Bride... "we" are married to Christ?
Anyone else get the feeling that Christ is going to fuck you in the ass many many times? I do not want to be dressed in drag to be his bride...
So the raptured people don't have sex and the left-behind people do?
Honey, don't go into advertising.
Relations? It's called sex, you idiot. For fuck's sake, stop being such a goddamn prude. Furthermore, the act of sex is not crass. It is perfectly normal... unlike you and your christard buddies on RR.
1. Heaven seems to be a very boring and silly place.
2. I'm not gay, I will not marry this "Jesus"-guy. Never!
Great job shooting yourself in the foot multiple times by making way for same-sex marriage and polygamy, as it has been pointed out. Also, if a pregnant teenage virgin is pregnant by someone who is not her husband, but apparently her father..
Religion fail.
the puritanical dogma of "if it feels good, it's evil" hangs over much of their faith, all sects of it. I always wondered, your being so celibate, and denying your self pleasure, so when this heaven thing happens, are you now allowed to have fun, can you experience pleasure, or is it all just more selfless worship and chastity?
If heaven really has no sex, fuck it. and I do say the list of reasons why heaven sucks is growing fast. it's full of Christians. it's right up there close to the nut and asshole on a perpetual hormonal power trip, god. there's no sex. you have to work your ass off to be good enough, not just to live a sinless life, but be forgiven for the "original sin", you know, shit you didn't even do....
at the end of the day, the hell with it. Satan sounds like much more fun.
In that case, you can have sex with Jesus, and I'll stay here and enjoy all manner of pleasure with sinful, wicked, atheist women.
It's WIN-WIN!
12 crops of fruit...
I eat more than 12 kinds of stuff normally... Your heaven is lame...
And no sex? Lame, your heaven sounds horrible.
@Mark,
What about guys who go to Heaven? Are they married to Jesus, too? I think that would suggest He supports same-sex marriage, then, and so should you.
Well in that case sign me up for staying put!
Looking a little deeper, he's basically sayin that people who loved each other in life are no longer allowed to express that love in death. Sucks, to be honest.
NO SEX? WTF? So, it is really Hell then, eh?
It is clearer every day that Jesus needs a new sales and marketing department, cuz the current employees are not doing a good job.
Yep, none of that dirty filthy sex, but pass the ham hocks and pecan pie.
These people are so fucked up.
funny how these guys know so little about the real world yet seem to know everything about God's plan, how, when, why. to whom etc, right down to the tiniest details.
either god really does talk to them or they are pulling shit out of their ass. i choose the later.
...
Faith getting weaker...
If what you're saying is true... I don't like heaven or hell.
My church would probably be considered liberal, considering how open we are to everyone. Probably why I still practice my faith at all.
I said it before and I'll say it again: Fundies are a much bigger threat to faith than ANY atheist.
"There will be no sex for those who have Resurrection bodies. For those still on earth during the Millennium, yes, they will have sex and repopulate the earth."
So, all the fundies go to a hell where they can't have sex, and have to constantly grovel before God and Jesus. This makes earth a fundie free paradise where everyone else can live their lives in peace.
We're happy, and the fundies are happy, because they're so fucked up that hell is heaven to them.
Maybe the Rapture isn't such a bad idea afterall.
You believe heaven to be nothing more than the absence of "sin." You imagine it to be a place of gluttony, because after all, eating is not a sin. You imagine gaudy mansions and fast cars, America writ large in the heavens. You imagine it to be a celebration of all the things you lacked here on earth--material wealth, power and revenge. Yes, revenge, since when so many of you wax poetic over your vision of the next world, you also linger over the imagined misery of those you hate at the hands of a raving-mad God, while you caper and cackle in glee over being proved RIGHT.
You have no idea what "heaven" is or should be. Your imagination is stunted and atrophied.
May God have mercy on you.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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