When we get to Heaven, you'll easily find me. I'll be the tall blonde hanging on to Jesus' feet and not letting go!! He'll be shaking me off his legs like a dog!!
112 comments
Ah, at last we get back to a funny quote instead of the boring, preachy threads advocating censorship of FSTDT contributors that have appeared in the past couple of days.
Must have been a true genius and peace-maker who submitted this one about dry-humping Jesus's leg. (Bet she's cute as a button and modest, too!)
You may be tall. You may be blonde, but if your Jesus is straight...
You may have gotten this wrong, man.
And this is something to be proud of because...?
Also, who wants to bet that in her corporeal form, chicken5516 is short, chubby and brunette?
Look dude I'm sure we all had our phase when we looked at a religious icon and thought what it'd be like to have sex with them. I mean I always wondered how Shiva would be in bed. We do grow out of it, so take a few days, find a nice girl/guy and you'll feel better. Oh but uh its very unbecoming to have someone shake you off their leg like a dog.
And Jesus, being a gentle, loving soul will patiently wait for a couple of thousand years before finally snapping and kicking you in the face.
Plus, how come you are so sure that you're going to end up in Heaven ? rather presumptious aren't we?
Why would Jesus be interested in a blond female?
The guy was gayer than a two-dollar bill!
He hung around with 12 men and a single female (gay hang-around), never got married or had a girlfriend!
Yeah, I think Jesus would be strong proponent of gay marriage, sorry dumb blond!
"Ah, at last we get back to a funny quote instead of the boring, preachy threads advocating censorship of FSTDT contributors that have appeared in the past couple of days.
Must have been a true genius and peace-maker who submitted this one about dry-humping Jesus's leg. (Bet she's cute as a button and modest, too!)"
Censorship? Umm, no. There is nothing protecting you or any FSTDTer being quoted as a fundie when you act like one. No agreement was signed, nothing. Crying censorship over being quoted is a lot like crying persecution over being quoted. Wouldn't you say?
The subtext at RR is so hilarious. It's always "Jesus, come quickly," "We are the Bride of Jesus," or something like that. And now leg humping. It's quite clear that they have some kind of subconscious sexual attraction to him. It's even weirder when you consider that he's supposed to be their father/brother.
Woof woof woof thats dog talk for I love Jesus .And woof woof that more dog talk for all of you dumb atheist are gong to hell.
And and will have to serve your master and god the evil one and he will make you in to his little pets ,he will treat like a dog ,And make you do tricks for him and server him ..
Mean while be in heaven holding on to jeuse legs and not letting go even when he swats me with the newspaper .
Silly atheist heaven will be so much better than hell..
I will be the happy sheep showing my god so so much affection and love he will have to pry me off his glorious righteous leg that I will be will be like humping whit the energy and glee of 1000 chihuahuas in heat .
Woof woof woof that more heavenly dog talk for you smell my doggy butt and I will smell yours..
Woof woof I love Jesus woof woof woof....Woof I wonder what Jesus butt smells like woof woof woof
Dear nameless person at #954850 :
You see it your way; I see it mine.
But really, I was just trying to make a little light-hearted statement here, and, sorry to disappoint, have no intention to get into a flame war with you. (There's a thread in the forum for that.)
I'm only here for the lols. So ...
Peace Out and Peace on You!
Ann Coulter, is that you?
Damn you Ben, you beat me to it.
That's an interesting mental image, there.
And if he's "shaking you off his leg like [you were] a dog," doesn't that imply dislike?
I can imagine Jesus would have had his work cut out for him, if he'd existed in this form you believe.
Hundreds of thousands pathetic christians clinging to his legs for eternity, desperately, like hundreds of thousands of horny dogs...
O_o
1) Sure, because you're the only tall blonde who is a "True Christian (tm)."
2) Really? Do you really think that the Omnipotent King of the Universe wants you to be a silly hanger on like that?
And, you will go back on Earth, or even hell for sexually assaulting an extension of God, for committing the deadly sin of lust.
Kinda goes against to point of being raptured, isn't it?
The King of Kings, Lord of Hosts, God of Infinite Mercy, Guardian of the People of God, Alpha and Omega, kindly requests you recognize his personal space... Thank you
"When we get to Heaven, you'll easily find me. I'll be the tall blonde hanging on to Jesus' feet and not letting go!! He'll be shaking me off his legs like a dog!!"
image
chicken5516: J-man's bitch.
Oh puh-leeze! You'll be looking all over Heaven for a tall, blonde man with Aryan features. When a short, dusky skin man who looks more like Osama Bin-Ladan than your favorite white move star walks up to you and tells you that he is Jesus, you'll respond with "Praise the Lord, they even let insane people in here!"
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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