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Quote# 62267

When we get to Heaven, you'll easily find me. I'll be the tall blonde hanging on to Jesus' feet and not letting go!! He'll be shaking me off his legs like a dog!!

chicken5516, Rapture Ready 109 Comments [5/13/2009 7:15:33 AM]
Fundie Index: 100
Submitted By: Jezebel's Evil Sister
WTF?! || meh
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1 2 3 4 5
#954761
Beltaine

And then Jesus had her spayed....

5/13/2009 7:19:38 AM

#954763
Jebby

Dignity dude. Look it up.

5/13/2009 7:21:40 AM

#954765
Snafui

So... you'll be a tall "blonde"? What if someone that was short and dumpy with greasy black hair decides she would like to be a tall blond in heaven? Will I be able to tell you two apart?

5/13/2009 7:22:08 AM

#954767
lisa

And Jesus will be the one getting a restraining order against you.

5/13/2009 7:23:12 AM

#954768
Omni Noodle

Horny bitch!

5/13/2009 7:23:44 AM

#954769
Dan Onymous

Is He going to end up shooting you dead in the bath?

5/13/2009 7:24:20 AM

#954772
Jezebel's Evil Sister

Ah, at last we get back to a funny quote instead of the boring, preachy threads advocating censorship of FSTDT contributors that have appeared in the past couple of days.

Must have been a true genius and peace-maker who submitted this one about dry-humping Jesus's leg. (Bet she's cute as a button and modest, too!)

5/13/2009 7:29:39 AM

#954773
D Laurier.

a waste of feminine beauty.

5/13/2009 7:32:10 AM

#954778
aaa

I have this mental image of a 40 something housewife humping the leg of a cool carpenter from classical era palestine.

Good thing i am an internet veteran and i should be immune to shock images.

5/13/2009 7:37:40 AM

#954782


Check out "Gods of War" by Manowar - album cover.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Gods-of-war-Cover.JPG

5/13/2009 7:41:11 AM

#954783
ausador

Somebody pass the brain bleach, I can't get the vision of chicken5516 humping jesus's leg like a horny chihuahua out of my head now.

5/13/2009 7:43:08 AM

#954786
RavenWood

So sad...

5/13/2009 7:45:02 AM

#954790
Gah

ROTFLMAO.

...ow, ow, my sides hurt...

5/13/2009 7:52:56 AM

#954794
Blackrend

Ooookaaaaaayyy....

5/13/2009 8:04:03 AM

#954795


You may be tall. You may be blonde, but if your Jesus is straight...

You may have gotten this wrong, man.

5/13/2009 8:04:07 AM

#954797
draco_nite

"Moe for Jesus."

Yeah, that's something that I can approve of.

5/13/2009 8:09:18 AM

#954800
Antichrist


5/13/2009 8:11:22 AM

#954806
Sisyphus

And this is something to be proud of because...?

Also, who wants to bet that in her corporeal form, chicken5516 is short, chubby and brunette?

5/13/2009 8:19:19 AM

#954809
JohnTheAtheist

Oh my god that is too fucking funny.

5/13/2009 8:23:15 AM

#954815
Crazalus

I'd like to nominate this for the Humping the Lord award...

5/13/2009 8:28:42 AM

#954816
Doctor Whom

Dog play for Jesus!

5/13/2009 8:28:55 AM

#954817
Boddynock

Look dude I'm sure we all had our phase when we looked at a religious icon and thought what it'd be like to have sex with them. I mean I always wondered how Shiva would be in bed. We do grow out of it, so take a few days, find a nice girl/guy and you'll feel better. Oh but uh its very unbecoming to have someone shake you off their leg like a dog.

5/13/2009 8:32:43 AM

#954819
Thammuz

Is Jesus gonna have to choke a bitch?

5/13/2009 8:37:25 AM

#954821
Morrigan

Aaaaaand that is fundie, crazy, and creepy

5/13/2009 8:40:35 AM

#954822
rubber chicken

And Jesus, being a gentle, loving soul will patiently wait for a couple of thousand years before finally snapping and kicking you in the face.

Plus, how come you are so sure that you're going to end up in Heaven ? rather presumptious aren't we?

5/13/2009 8:47:13 AM
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