Quote# 62267

When we get to Heaven, you'll easily find me. I'll be the tall blonde hanging on to Jesus' feet and not letting go!! He'll be shaking me off his legs like a dog!!

chicken5516, Rapture Ready 112 Comments [5/13/2009 7:15:33 AM]
Fundie Index: 103
Submitted By: Jezebel's Evil Sister

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And then Jesus had her spayed....

5/13/2009 7:19:38 AM


Dignity dude. Look it up.

5/13/2009 7:21:40 AM


So... you'll be a tall "blonde"? What if someone that was short and dumpy with greasy black hair decides she would like to be a tall blond in heaven? Will I be able to tell you two apart?

5/13/2009 7:22:08 AM


And Jesus will be the one getting a restraining order against you.

5/13/2009 7:23:12 AM

Omni Noodle

Horny bitch!

5/13/2009 7:23:44 AM

Dan Onymous

Is He going to end up shooting you dead in the bath?

5/13/2009 7:24:20 AM

Jezebel's Evil Sister

Ah, at last we get back to a funny quote instead of the boring, preachy threads advocating censorship of FSTDT contributors that have appeared in the past couple of days.

Must have been a true genius and peace-maker who submitted this one about dry-humping Jesus's leg. (Bet she's cute as a button and modest, too!)

5/13/2009 7:29:39 AM

D Laurier.

a waste of feminine beauty.

5/13/2009 7:32:10 AM


I have this mental image of a 40 something housewife humping the leg of a cool carpenter from classical era palestine.

Good thing i am an internet veteran and i should be immune to shock images.

5/13/2009 7:37:40 AM

Check out "Gods of War" by Manowar - album cover.


5/13/2009 7:41:11 AM


Somebody pass the brain bleach, I can't get the vision of chicken5516 humping jesus's leg like a horny chihuahua out of my head now.

5/13/2009 7:43:08 AM


So sad...

5/13/2009 7:45:02 AM



...ow, ow, my sides hurt...

5/13/2009 7:52:56 AM



5/13/2009 8:04:03 AM

You may be tall. You may be blonde, but if your Jesus is straight...

You may have gotten this wrong, man.

5/13/2009 8:04:07 AM


"Moe for Jesus."

Yeah, that's something that I can approve of.

5/13/2009 8:09:18 AM


5/13/2009 8:11:22 AM


And this is something to be proud of because...?

Also, who wants to bet that in her corporeal form, chicken5516 is short, chubby and brunette?

5/13/2009 8:19:19 AM


Oh my god that is too fucking funny.

5/13/2009 8:23:15 AM


I'd like to nominate this for the Humping the Lord award...

5/13/2009 8:28:42 AM

Doctor Whom

Dog play for Jesus!

5/13/2009 8:28:55 AM


Look dude I'm sure we all had our phase when we looked at a religious icon and thought what it'd be like to have sex with them. I mean I always wondered how Shiva would be in bed. We do grow out of it, so take a few days, find a nice girl/guy and you'll feel better. Oh but uh its very unbecoming to have someone shake you off their leg like a dog.

5/13/2009 8:32:43 AM


Is Jesus gonna have to choke a bitch?

5/13/2009 8:37:25 AM


Aaaaaand that is fundie, crazy, and creepy

5/13/2009 8:40:35 AM

rubber chicken

And Jesus, being a gentle, loving soul will patiently wait for a couple of thousand years before finally snapping and kicking you in the face.

Plus, how come you are so sure that you're going to end up in Heaven ? rather presumptious aren't we?

5/13/2009 8:47:13 AM

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