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Quote# 62366

A Christian counter-cult ministry will hold a symposium as part of the upcoming Roswell UFO Festival (July 03 to July 05, 2009), putting its own angle on the ongoing debate concerning the mysterious existence or otherwise of unidentified flying objects and alien species.

[...]

"From a Biblical Christian perspective it becomes clear that 'aliens' are actually the evil spirits of the Bible," contend the group, which will also use the symposium to deliver its message on counter-cult evangelism, creationism, and spiritual warfare.

"This idea is backed up experientially with the evidence of numerous testimonies of 'abductees', which show that 'alien abduction' experiences stop in the name and authority of Jesus Christ," the statement continued.

"Also the sinful behaviors of the 'aliens' behind abductions, the false gospels and new age messages they proclaim, and their supernatural powers so very reminiscent of those described in the Bible as being had by angels, all adds up to make clear that 'aliens' are in fact the evil spirits of the Bible," it said.

-, The Tech Herald 45 Comments [5/16/2009 7:32:53 AM]
Fundie Index: 32
Submitted By: Dexter
WTF?! || meh
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aaa

Dude, this is getting really weird.

5/16/2009 7:35:04 AM

Kinderklein

"which show that 'alien abduction' experiences stop in the name and authority of Jesus Christ"

Which is good, as alien abductions are just as common as divine miracles.

Also, this has got to be a joke =)

5/16/2009 7:39:34 AM

Thundersqueaks

Ah, yes. The cult of the Christian counter-cult. I love the smell of irony in the morning.

5/16/2009 8:06:05 AM

Sanity

FUNDY FIGHT!

In thiiis cooorneer...
Weighing in at a several tenthousand, the tinfoil wearing, sky watching harmless old UFO believers

aaaand in this coooorner...
Coming in at massive billion members: the cross bearing, freedom infringing, discriminating... Cristians!

5/16/2009 8:10:22 AM

DoctorTR

"which show that 'alien abduction' experiences stop in the name and authority of Jesus Christ"

If I'd be alien I'd be scared shitless from a primate that screams in tongues to pick him up.Foamed mouth, screams, my UFO would go dirty.

5/16/2009 8:22:29 AM

Philbert McAdamia

Haha, crazy people arguing over which ones are the most insane.
"I'm crazier'n you are. So there. Pplllttttt!"

"Nu UHH! I'm the craziest ... Jesus talks to ME!. Nanner nanner nanner."


Get the net.

5/16/2009 8:32:34 AM

Swedish Pagan

Maybe some of the alleged abductions are just nightmares?

"Experiences stop in the name and authority of Jesus Christ" So you have to invoke him first, so that he can assert his authority?

5/16/2009 8:34:49 AM

John

It's not surprising that someone who believes a book by some anonymous bronze age Arab goat-herders is the world of God and some Jewish mystic could turn water into wine would also believe in demons and alien abductions.

5/16/2009 8:43:12 AM



This is why I like what my Muslim friends tell me: Aliens are just another form of life in our vast universe.

5/16/2009 8:44:05 AM

ausador

Damn that is funny, tell me another one.
Oh...you were serious? <runs away>

5/16/2009 8:58:45 AM

Dio Fa

Roswell UFO Festival: your one-stop shop for asshattery.

5/16/2009 9:01:47 AM



...Isn't that special.

Actually I was talking to a Christian the other day about if aliens landing would test her faith and she said yes, so she'd just believe they were demons after her immortal soul, only pretending to be aliens.

They've got rationalizations for any possibility.

5/16/2009 9:29:59 AM



I will take the sad little alien nuts over the Christians every day of the week. Whack 'em with your tinfoil!

5/16/2009 9:35:17 AM



Read the comments. There are 5 pages of people explaining how aliens=demons is both Biblical & proven scientifically.

/WEEPS

WHY ARE PEOPLE SO CRAZY?

5/16/2009 9:59:28 AM

fundiesRtehlulz

I've been interested in the ufo/abduction phenomenon for a long time. I've read and listened to countless accounts of abductions and I must say - I've never heard of one stopping because someone said Jesus.

It's not that I really believe abductions happen, I just find the whole subject interesting. And it's far more likely that if aliens are real, they are the gods/angels/demons/spirits that religions talk about. Not in the true sense that they're gods/etc, but more like the ancient people had no other way to describe what they were seeing - A species vastly technologically superior to themselves.

5/16/2009 10:03:12 AM

EvoPagan

If aliens ever did show up, these morons would be the ones firing on them with their deer rifles and starting an intergalactic war.

5/16/2009 10:32:34 AM

Spaceamoeba

EvoPagan beat me to it. The idea I mean. Say if there was first contact one day, these assholes would be declaring that the ETs would be demons. Even if they were friendly.

5/16/2009 10:42:51 AM



Why do I suspect that the Demons are a label put to anything which is unkown to fundies, including aliens(whose existence is more than improbable)?

5/16/2009 11:02:22 AM

BobsOldSocks

"A Christian counter-cult ministry..."

Umm...christianity is one of the biggest cults on the planet. What you've got there, son, is an oxymoron.

5/16/2009 11:05:28 AM

Horsefeathers

"A Christian counter-cult ministry will hold a symposium..."

Isn't this a bit like an alcoholic running a sobriety seminar?

"as part of the upcoming Roswell UFO Festival (July 03 to July 05, 2009), putting its own angle on the ongoing debate concerning the mysterious existence or otherwise of unidentified flying objects and alien species."

Save your breath. Everyone knows what you think already. Yes, yes. They're "devils" or "demons" or some such bullshit. Now go away.

""From a Biblical Christian perspective it becomes clear that 'aliens' are actually the evil spirits of the Bible,""

What'd I tell ya? I knew it even before I read it.

"contend the group, which will also use the symposium to deliver its message on counter-cult evangelism, creationism, and spiritual warfare."

And you'll likely be laughed off the stage.

""This idea is backed up experientially with the evidence of numerous testimonies of 'abductees', which show that 'alien abduction' experiences stop in the name and authority of Jesus Christ," the statement continued."

Yeah? Cite some such cases. The only thing "alien abductions" show is that we've replaced "goblins" and other supernatural beings with "aliens" to explain things like sleep paralysis and other such phenomena.

""Also the sinful behaviors of the 'aliens' behind abductions, the false gospels and new age messages they proclaim, and their supernatural powers so very reminiscent of those described in the Bible as being had by angels, all adds up to make clear that 'aliens' are in fact the evil spirits of the Bible," it said."

You're fucking insane. Sorry, someone had to tell you and I suspect most people you encounter are too polite to do so.

5/16/2009 11:17:57 AM

Osiris

When we finally do make first contact, please stay far the fuck away.

5/16/2009 11:38:16 AM

Grigadil

Statistically, it makes sense that aliens exist.

It would also make sense that they wait for the unfortunate genetic weakness that presents as paranoid tribalism, to go extinct in the human species.

The authoriteh of Jesus Christ banishes the demon under your bed every single night, right?

5/16/2009 12:59:49 PM

Xotan

Space Vampire batshit?

Alien abduction my arse! It is nothing but attention-seeking liars. Suitable bedfellows for fundies.

5/16/2009 1:24:39 PM

Blue J

I actually used to know people who believed this. It's not a joke.

5/16/2009 2:09:25 PM

Old Viking

From a Biblical Christian perspective it becomes clear that aliens are actually the evil spirits of the Bible.

Many things become clear from the Biblical Christian perspective. However, none of them are true.

5/16/2009 2:16:39 PM
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