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Quote# 62650

[Part of Tri-State Baptist College's Doctrinal Statement]

The time has come as Baptist to re-teach and re-emphasize that Jesus started a church in his earthly ministry, and that church is not a Catholic or Protestant church but an Independent Baptist Church.

Tri-State Baptist College, Tri-State Baptist College 53 Comments [5/26/2009 7:42:39 PM]
Fundie Index: 27
Submitted By: Trike
WTF?! || meh
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Dr. Novakaine

So apparently, hating other religions is not enough for you, and you've decided to start hating divisions of your own religion. Good to know.

5/26/2009 8:03:05 PM

dpareja

@Dr. Novakaine: Keep in mind that a lot of these nutjobs hold that Catholics, at least, aren't Christians.

5/26/2009 8:17:07 PM

Skyknight

They must not have heard that David J. Stewart--and, by corollary, Witch-King Jack Hyles of Angmar--hold that same "Baptists precede all other Christian-labeleds" claim. Hopefully, that would make them relinquish that in a hurry.

5/26/2009 8:28:34 PM

Shadow Boxer

Which by an amazing coincidence, just happens to be the independent Baptist church you belong to...
Spooky.

5/26/2009 8:41:29 PM

Zeus Almighty

Excuse me, are you the Independent Baptists of America?

Fuck off!
We're the American Independent Baptists.

5/26/2009 8:52:08 PM

WTF?! meh

...except when there's a census. Then they're one big happy christian family.

5/26/2009 9:09:14 PM



SPLITTER!!

5/26/2009 9:20:19 PM

werewolf

Why would your Jesus name his church after his cousin, John? Wouldn't make sense unless he wanted to avoid pissing off the local religious authorities or for tax evasion purposes.

Of course, the simpler question is: where does this happen in your fantasy book? On the banks of the Jordan River with his cousin?

5/26/2009 9:22:42 PM

A Friend

To join my church(the North American Membership of Baptists from Los Angeles)you must hold one true belief from the bible. That is, cubits equal 16.85 inches and not 17.5. Any person who says otherwise is a DIRTY ROTTEN HEATHEN WHO'S GOING TO HELL!!!

5/26/2009 9:38:43 PM

Frogflayer

Who left me off the list?
I keep missing these memos.

5/26/2009 10:06:19 PM

D Laurier.

The baptist churches are protestant... And are derived from Calvinist heresy.
The American baptists are even further removed from the early church

5/26/2009 10:21:28 PM

Nick

Because Baptism doesn't fall under protestantism.

5/26/2009 10:32:57 PM

WMDKitty

Assuming he even existed...

5/26/2009 10:39:19 PM

SurfinSeaOtter

Ok, this has been a long time coming... but fuck off you insane fucking elitist pricks

5/26/2009 11:01:55 PM

ausador

ohh boy, how many "One True Church" claims does that make now? There sure seem to be a lot, yet you guys keep claiming that there can only be one.

Maybe you should fight it out with swords or something while shouting "There can be only one!"

(Hmm, now why does that sound familiar?)

5/26/2009 11:11:52 PM

ausador

@ dpareja

The catholics haters have nothing on the nutjobs who sanctify the King James Version Bible and say the readers of all other bibles are going to hell for heresy.

Look at the AV1611 forum sometime if you want to see some real wackos.

5/26/2009 11:19:55 PM

Thinking Allowed

Sorry, but Jesus didn't start any church. It was his followers (mostly Paul) that started it as a fringe cult.

5/26/2009 11:20:43 PM

Orion

I love the whole "we predate you" argument here. It's so.... pointless.

5/27/2009 12:25:03 AM

aaa

We should preserve this quote as the best example of a "no true scotsman" fallacy.

5/27/2009 12:26:46 AM

Nowonmai

That would have been John the Baptist,you nit.

5/27/2009 12:49:06 AM

szena

These people fully believe that their sect stayed active through the centuries until the Reformation by reading their Bibles and staying true to the message, despite the pressure from the Catholic church.

They've never been able to explain how that worked given that a) Bibles were hand-copied and hard to come by, and b) pretty much everyone who wasn't educated by the Catholic church was illiterate.

5/27/2009 4:03:13 AM

Man Called True

The serpent would love to devour its tail, but it can't pick which one.

5/27/2009 4:12:38 AM

Mister Spak

The time has come as a Catholic to re-teach and re-emphasize that Jesus started a church in his earthly ministry, and that church is not an independent Baptist or Protestant church but a Catholic Church.

Fixed.


5/27/2009 4:16:03 AM

tearlich

@Skyknight: the Lord of the Nazgul had to much self respect to be a Fundie!

5/27/2009 6:06:53 AM

Rev. Dread

My sister's in-laws are Baptist. I never thought I would actually meet someone who would say that Santa is Satan in disguise.

5/27/2009 6:14:03 AM
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