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Quote# 62664

I can tell you, I had no Godly training on how to chose a husband and I don't think anyone else in my family did either. So, really, I chose my husband, I didn't wait for God to chose him for me. In a way, I think many women make their own choice thinking on their emotions instead of waiting on God. This is how they get "stuck" with the abuser.

GreenEyedLady, RR 39 Comments [5/26/2009 12:57:57 PM]
Fundie Index: 41
WTF?! || meh
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CohibaMan

Ah. So it's your fault, not God's. Sort of like, when he abused you, it was your fault, not your husband's.

I'm starting to sense a trend here.

5/26/2009 1:03:00 PM

Mister Spak

"I think many women make their own choice thinking on their emotions instead of waiting on God. "

But at least their emotions are real.

5/26/2009 1:10:32 PM

Clown

GreenEyedLilo, are you trolling RR again?

When you finish training from God, are you Sith or Jedi? Or space marine?

5/26/2009 1:13:02 PM

tracer

Trust me, Lady, your man would've had just as great a chance of being an abuser if you HAD received "Godly training on how to chose [sic] a husband."

5/26/2009 1:13:21 PM

Zeus Almighty

From the women I've known who ended up in abusive marriages, there were always signs -- big, bright, blinking neon signs -- of future abuse prior to the marriages. Either actual physical abuse, or perhaps verbal abuse, or comments about how the woman will be controlled once they got married.
I'm guessing those signs were there for you as well but were ignored.

Not to defend the abuser in any way. They are pricks. I had a co-worker killed by her husband after she left him and initiated divorce proceedings. Just saying that the nurturing side of women often leads them to think they can change or "fix" the abuser's problems so that he will not be an abuser, when they should heed the warning signals.

5/26/2009 1:15:56 PM

A Friend

God can scrotom fuck his buddy satan. No person should put up with an abusive spouse, period.

5/26/2009 1:19:24 PM

CohibaMan

@Zeus Almighty

You are exactly right. There are certain types of women with attitudes that fall prey to this type of behavior. It is not necessarily their fault... predators know sheep when they see them.

It personally makes me quite sad.

5/26/2009 1:20:41 PM

Ken

And if your good Christian husband abuses you, then God hates you.

Religion is so very sick sometimes.

5/26/2009 1:23:25 PM

Misty

I wonder what happens to the women that get the abusers from God?

5/26/2009 1:31:02 PM

Dio Fa

So, Godly training is sitting around on your ass, waiting for some guy to show up who wants to screw marry you.

I suggest choosing a place where the bar stools are comfortable.

5/26/2009 1:36:22 PM

breakerslion

According to your book, you are property of your husband and he can pretty much do as he pleases and it will be your fault. Are you sure it would have been any different if you "waited on God"?

5/26/2009 1:43:55 PM

EvoPagan

It's always wonderful to see a woman undermining and tearing down other women. You're a real fucking cunt and whatever kind of bastard your husband is, you deserve each other.

5/26/2009 2:04:41 PM

Giveitaday

I can tell you

I'm sure you quite the authority when it comes to having to have other people make your decisions for you. After all, you are a good christian woman and the bible says that it's a sin for women to think for themselves.

I had no Godly training on how to chose a husband and I don't think anyone else in my family did either.

What? Life doesn't comes with a user's manual, you have to learn through experience or observation just like everybody else.

So, really, I chose my husband,

That's kinda how it works. In this day and age you get to choose who you want to marry rather than your family patriarch choosing who you will marry so that it will provide political or finacial profit for him. What i can't fathom is why you think that choosing who you want to marry is a bad thing.

I didn't wait for God to chose him for me.

If you did then you'd still be waiting for a long, long time. It seems to me that you think everything in your life is supposed to be handed to you by "god" or someone you think speaks on it's behalf. What you need to ask yourself is "Why do I feel I am incapable of making decision about my life? Why do I give other people authority to make my decisions for me? Do these people have my best intrest in mind?." In other words, It's time to grow up and quit acting like you have to coddled and guided around like sheep. There will come a time when you need to think for yourself and make decisions that will effect your life, what will you do then if theres no one there to tell you what to think or do?

I think many women make their own choice thinking on their emotions instead of waiting on God.

Well god forbid that a woman dare to think for herself. Women are not creatures of pure emotion that are incapable of making rational decisions and you insult yourself and your gender by assuming such a thing to be true. Likely the only reason you have that opinion is because someone you see as an authority told you that was your opinion.

Is there even a biblical command for women to wait until "god" tells them who they will marry? No there isn't, because in biblical times women were consider property of their fathers and they werew to marry whoever their father sold them too. Is that how you see yourself? As livestock to be herded from place to place, being told what to do, what to think, and what to feel? To be sold or discarded whenever your master sees fit? You make me ashamed to share a species with you, why anyone would wish to make themselves little more than a slave to a being that they can't even prove exists is beyond me.


This is how they get "stuck" with the abuser.

Newsflash lady, no one is "stuck" with an abuser in the manner you are speaking of except by feeling that they can't leave the relationship because of some form of religious proscription or religious retaliation. In your analogy the reason they "can't" leave is simply because they have given up their ability to make decisions and have allowed someone else to tell them what they can or cannot do. That isn't living, that's being livestock.

5/26/2009 2:05:11 PM



Got news for you GreenEyedLady, I'm a man and even I know how to spot a wife beater a mile away. Besides, you're just property anyway so whatever your husband decides to do with you is all good, be it cherish you or beat you to within an inch of your life. I mean, God has a divine plan if he shackled you to some low-life abusive excuse-for-a-man, right?

5/26/2009 2:06:21 PM

Painful

@Zeus Almighty - I'll have to politely disagree. At least, let's compromise and say some abusers give warning. Not all. With some percent there is just a switch that gets flipped and one minute you're with the good Dr and then you are dating Mr Hyde.

5/26/2009 2:08:08 PM

Dr. Novakaine

@Painful

I'm going to split the difference here. Nearly all if not all abusers give signs - however, some give much more subtle signs than others, and those are the ones who are harder to detect.

5/26/2009 2:13:17 PM

WMDKitty

No, we usually get "stuck" with the abuser *because* the church sez that Gawd won't allow divorce, and you should submit to your husband -- after all, if he's beating you, you *must* have done *something* to deserve it...

5/26/2009 2:33:49 PM

ausador

It would seem you have some serious issues, perhaps counseling would do some good.

5/26/2009 2:41:27 PM

Papabear

Relying solely upon emotions is a bad move, as is "waiting on God." Try using some good sense.

5/26/2009 2:42:10 PM

John

How do you know hubby wasn't God's choice? I mean, Satan usually tempts us with stuff like sex, drugs and money. God's the one who tests us by giving us cancer, having our children raped, and destroying whole cities with volcanoes and earthquakes. It stands to reason He'd give you some guy who beats the crap out of you.

5/26/2009 3:06:41 PM



@Zeus Almighty

Some abusers do give obvious signs, but others, particularly those who are emtionally abusive rather than physically (which can be much harder to spot), are so good at the Jekyll/Hyde routine that family and friends refuse to believe he's an abuser even when confronted with facts. And it can take years, or some adverse event, for it to manifest. I've been there: Five years of sensitive, sweet guy, then I got very sick with something that can't be cured, which he didn't want to be "stuck" with, and Presto!!: Within a couple of months, cruel, bullying, emotionally abusive cheater, but only in private. His friends still have no clue. Stop blaming the victim. You never know what she started out with; you can end up with a bully no matter how careful you are.

5/26/2009 3:09:10 PM

fundiesRtehlulz

No, you get stuck with an abuser when you believe that he has the right to do with you what he pleases, and that leaving him is worse than suffering through it.

5/26/2009 3:58:36 PM

Bryan65

BrownTonguedLady is more fitting.

5/26/2009 4:13:20 PM

Old Viking

You've got a problem here, GEL, because God has chosen some real losers over the ages.

5/26/2009 4:23:09 PM

Tallyho

@tracer

"Trust me, Lady, your man would've had just as great a chance of being an abuser if you HAD received "Godly training on how to chose [sic] a husband.""

Given some of the religious mysogynistic posts witnessed on here - probably more a chance!

5/26/2009 4:28:57 PM
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