Greet your new masters!
For the people that think we have thousands of years left before Christ comes all I can say the Bible says the time of the end is near.
[2/1/2004 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 6
Actually it said that thousands of years ago too fuckwit, it's not a clock counting down, it's a lie!
9/20/2006 10:05:45 AM
When your watch shows two minutes to midnight, and then you see sunrise after sunrise without the watch showing any progress toward midnight (for two millennia), then it's time to acknowledge that the watch DOES NOT WORK.
9/20/2006 2:38:29 PM
Jesus said he'd be back before all the original disciples kicked the bucket. It's been 2000 years. Face it, Robert, you've been stood up.
9/20/2006 11:22:11 PM
I can say the Bible says the time of the end is near.
And the Bible was definitely written yesterday, wasn't it? Why, Jesus just came around to my place for breakfast! I've now got enough bread to last a month.
9/20/2006 11:53:37 PM
Yes, 2000 years ago.
I think Jesus just wanted to screw with his friends.
1/8/2008 5:39:09 AM
Yes, it did state the end was near,
thousands of years ago
3/15/2011 3:54:35 PM
if you look closely it says it will happen the second tuesday of next week
3/24/2011 11:41:57 AM
parts of the Bible are almost 2000 years old.
If 2000 years can mean "the end is near", then so can 3000, and 4000 as well.
3/24/2011 1:20:27 PM
And Chamberlain said there would be peace in his time. He was just as wrong.
3/25/2011 12:59:11 AM
I thought it said something about no man knowing the day or hour of the tribulation?
1/23/2012 9:55:03 PM
But to god, a thousand years is as a day.
At least, that's what your lot has been saying for, oh, thousands of years.
1/24/2012 7:18:07 AM
"For the people that think we have thousands of years left before Christ comes all I can say the Bible says the time of the end is near."
Now where have we heard
'The Earth is degenerating these days. Bribery and corruption abound.
Children no longer mind their parents, every man wants to write a book,
and it is evident that the end of the world is fast approaching'
-Assyrian clay tablet, 2800
Another book says something too, in it's underlying moral. It's title, Robert43? "
The Boy Who Cried Wolf
1/24/2012 9:27:31 AM
The End Times are indeed nearer than ever. In fact, they are so near that I trust I need not even bother going to work tomorrow. I trust that I won't get sacked, I trust that I won't have to get another job in the midst of a deep recession, I trust that I won't run out of welfare, I trust that the food banks will still be able to feed me, come what may. All for the greater glory of god.
1/24/2012 1:33:26 PM
Update: End times still near!
3/1/2013 3:05:23 AM
and funnily enough, the Bible was written thousands of years ago, and people have been saying the end times are near based on the bible for over a thousand years.
3/1/2013 3:41:39 AM
3/29/2015 7:35:21 PM
Yep, it's near. Just ahead of you, just out of reach of your fingertips.
Ignore the string that it's suspended from.
Ignore the stick that the string hangs from.
Ignore the stick protruding from your head.
It's near. Very, very near.
3/29/2015 11:14:01 PM