At his urging, the Kleberg County commissioners on Monday unanimously designated "heaven-o" as the county's official greeting. The reason: "hello" contains the word "hell."
"When you go to school and church, they tell you 'hell' is negative and 'heaven' is positive,'" said the 56-year-old Canales, who owns the Kingsville Flea Market. "I think it's time that we set a new precedent, to tell our kids that we are positive adults."
88 comments
Heaven-o: Try new banana nut heaven-o's ...
Oh, sorry. This is not a breakfast cereal comercial? Damn! Heaven-o's, Cheerios - how am I supposed to know? Oh well, heaven-o's I'm miserable now...
Heaven-o: Try new banana nut heaven-o's ...
Oh, sorry. This is not a breakfast cereal comercial? Damn! Heaven-o's, Cheerios - how am I supposed to know? Oh well, heaven-o's I'm miserable now...
As I understand it, "hello" is a corrupted form of the phrase "health to you", in the same way that "goodbye" derives from "god be with you" and the epithet "bloody" from the oath "by our Lady".
The point is that language in general, and English in particular, is infinitely adaptable. Sort of the exact opposite of idiots like this guy.
Other moronic things for fundies with too much time on their hands:
(a) Ban imports from Finland, because its capital is Helsinki.
(b) Boycott Hellman's mayonnaise
(c) Demand printers stop using the Helvetica font.
(d) Write the FAA insisting they ban helicopters unless they call them "heavenicopters".
Feel free to add to the list ...
...
after considering this, I'm glad.
really, wouldn't you rather them advertise their crazy? instead of accidentally getting to close, now you get fair warning from the first word out of their mouths.
it's like they all wear a "warning: I'm fucking nuts" sign around their necks.
or
AsgardO
or
OlympusO
or
NirvanaO
etc
there are times when I fear for humanity. Democracy will allow these morons to do stupid things and a Darwin Prize will be awarded to a hundred, thousand, million.....
It's not just the sheer imbecility that gets me here, nor even the apparent conviction of this nut that his inane, utterly inconsequential drivel actually deserves our attention and consideration; it's that that there are also apparently significant numbers of cretins in positions of authority who are actually inclined to waste time and effort on said consideration.
Thank the harmless simpleton graciously but briefly for his valuable suggestion, send him home, and get back to dealing with real issues - there's certainly no fucking shortage of them right now!
Later on in the week, children were heard everywhere in Kleberg County, screaming at the top of the voices, "HELL-O!".
I wonder if the Shell station will be forced to change their sign.
That just makes me want to hell, to put it negatively. I'm heavenuming that heave, being part of heaven, would be the wrong way to describe the action.
Uh, guys--this is from 1997, about 12 years ago.
So it's stupid, but hardly new...
Didn't they try this in like 2005?
I remember being in high school and my friends and I laughing about it. Except for one friend, she thought it was a good idea... she's gotten worse and worse over the years.
I can't even talk to her any more, wouldn't surprise me if she was a raptard.
Damn, I'm going to have to get my neighbor, Lipschitz, to change his name.
"I think it's time that we set a new precedent, to tell our kids that we are positive adults."
OK, but now it's time to show your kids you're not babbling fools.
"When you go to school ... they tell you 'hell' is negative and 'heaven' is positive"
Then they're doing separation of church and state WRONG.
By the way, not everyone in Texas is this damn stupid. There's about 14 of us in the state that aren't.
Message received. Now, start telling kids that you are perfectly normal adults with no free time on their hands. See how that goes.
P.s. What's next to be changed? Word "Hi" for drug allusion?
If this constitutes a problem, your life must be very smooth and easy...
How about Good morning/day/afternoon/night?
It's Heaven-o, the clown-o.
No it's Heaven-o, the clown-o.
HI HEAVEN-O!!!
I agree with the comment later in the article: small town, not much to do, let the wackiness ensue!!! Not so fundie per se; could happen to anyone with too much time on their hands. The mind fills the void in mysterious ways.
Next on the agenda: Replace all references to "dam" with "bless."
e.g. The Hoover Bless; beaver bless; dental bless.
To these tireless campaigners of righteousness I say, "Bless you! Bless you all to heaven!"
We've got a worldwide economic rut going on, with unemployment going up just about everywhere, with water tables drying up and we're still stuck on oil dependency, and you're worrying about CHANGING A GREETING?!?!!?
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGH!!
/Disney's version of Hades
They could call it "Batshit Insane, Not Just for Cave Hermits Anymore"
That would be the Documentary movie
Hello =/= Hell.
Does this mean that women shouldn't pray? Because prayers end with "amen" and not "awomen."
Of course it's obvious that while this resolution has no force of law, this is yet another attempt to cram religion into every form of government that they can. Things like this are usually done at the local level in places where Christians already are the majority, so nobody generally complains about it.
But it also illustrates how stupid most fundies are if they think they really need to do things like this.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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