Quote# 63614

I don't think he's [Michael Jackson] dead, I think he faked his own death to escape all the frivolous lawsuits he gets hit with every other week and the ridicule he receives from the rest of the world.

Put yourself in his shoes, the man is a walking punchline. The only reason most people don't fake their death when their life goes south is the money it would take to pull it off in a convincing fashion; something Jackson would have no problem with.

His entire family are professional entertainers, how easy would it be to get them all to play ball in front of the cameras so he could slip away to Argentina or something to live out his life in peace?

Doctors are all familiar with patient confidentiality and I'm sure the doctors he and his family use have been hand picked for their loyalty and silence. Give them a couple hundred thousand dollars for a signed death certificate and their cooperation, charter a private jet and you're home free.

ZombieOctopus, Above Top Secret 19 Comments [6/29/2009 1:36:08 PM]
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Give me a freaking break!

6/29/2009 1:42:38 PM


Why did I have a feeling that this would be coming sooner or later?

6/29/2009 2:07:38 PM

I can only laugh about some one saying this seriously as it was the first thing I thought when I heard the news. Of course I thought it as a joke.

6/29/2009 2:10:27 PM

A Fan of FSTDT

That was certainly fast.

6/29/2009 2:36:44 PM

Jedi Knight

Yes, I know. He's moved in with his ex father in law.

6/29/2009 2:51:45 PM


Yeah, he's kicking back on Secret Retired Superstar Island. Originally founded by Buddy Holly, The Big Bopper, Richie Valens, it's now home to Elvis, Jim Morrison, John Lennon, Kurt Cobain, Tupac, Biggie Smalls and Michael Jackson.

Additionally ZombieOctopus' dog which left in 1986 after the five car pile up on the highway near his childhood home is still living happily on a farm somewhere so he can chase jackrabbits all day and his guinea pig got a job in a zoo in Canada.

6/29/2009 3:42:48 PM

Meh, it's not as extreme as a lot of stuff I've come across.

6/29/2009 3:44:07 PM

This was inevitable, really.

6/29/2009 4:06:29 PM

A Friend

Nuh-uh. You lie! Michael Jackson went back to his home planet.

6/29/2009 6:05:59 PM


Yeah, I figured eventually there'd be fruitcakes screaming "Michael Jackson is alive!" instead of "Elivs is alive!"

I just didn't think that it'd happen this fast.

6/29/2009 7:15:59 PM

Lord X

Yeah, he's chilling somewhere with Elvis, John Lennon, Jimi Hendrix, The Real Paul McCartney and Tupac. Nevermind the news footage of EMTs loading his body onto an ambulance.

6/29/2009 8:31:07 PM


He Moved to South Park

6/29/2009 9:55:25 PM

And doctors are aware that, if caught, and chances are that they are, they can't be spelled from the medical association and would be unable to work again. Two hundred thousand bucks is, in fact, the money they make in a year, so, if they were intelligent enough to finish medicine, a tough discipline, they're intelligent enough to understand that they risk too much and doesn't compensate.

6/30/2009 2:32:37 AM

Yeah, because, you know, the most logical time to fake one's death would be right before a big concert tour for which you'd sold hundreds of thousands of tickets. Makes perfect sense, really.

6/30/2009 2:38:37 AM

Tolpuddle Martyr

Uh huh, he's hanging with Elvis, Hendrix and Jim Morrison in a bar with JFK, in Argentina of course.

6/30/2009 4:08:43 AM


And he was found making a double album with 2pac.

6/30/2009 4:55:45 AM


Yea... Elvis too, uh?

6/30/2009 7:28:10 AM


I knew it, I knew it, I knew it. It was only going to be a matter of time that someone was going to say the Michael-Isn't-Really-Dead theory.
Faking your death can be illegal in the sense of not paying your taxes, insurance fraud, or trying to beat facing a rap in other charges.
Anyone helping someone fake their own death, doctors, lawyers, family, and/or friends could face charges of fraud.

But you know what ZombieOctopus? You're right Michael Jackson is hanging out with Tupac, Elvis, Notorious B.I.G., Aaliyah, Jam Master Jay, and Lisa "Left Eye" Lopez in Tahiti and they are all waiting to earn enough money off of their posthumously made albums to pay off all the legal fines in back taxes to make one hell of a Comback Tour.


Seriously stop. They're gone, but not forgotten. What are you to gain from making this theory? What concrete evidence do you have of your theory?

6/30/2009 3:52:20 PM

Dr. Novakaine

Not the first time I've heard this and it certainly won't be the last. Seems like music entertainers are among the most likely to fall victim to this belief - see Elvis Presley and Tupac Shakur, and I've even heard John Lennon a few times.

On the other hand, we have Paul McCartney, which the CT's are desperately trying to convince us IS dead. I've yet to figure out why this is.

Also, frivolous lawsuits every other week? That's a touch of an exaggeration.

7/1/2009 8:20:05 AM

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