Hey Cowboy,
I reckon there's an article over on "cracked.com" you should read.
It's called "6 New Personality Disorders Caused by the Internet" here's the link: http://www.cracked.com/article_17522_p2.html
The one that applies to you is a condition they call "Low Cyber Self-Esteem (a.k.a. The Guy Who Everyone Hates but Who Never Leaves)"
Here's a quote from the article.
"...each forum, chat room or other online community seems to have a person or people who just don't fit in. It's not that they are necessarily horrible people, they're just the square trying to fit into the triangle hole. They get ridiculed constantly.
Now you may figure this is no different than the picked-on nerd in high school, but unlike that kid always getting squished into a locker, these people are free to leave the website at any time.
But they never do.
In Real Life it's Called...
Self-Abasement and/or Attention Seeking Behavior.
Someone with the need for self-abasement feels that they should be perpetually punished for their wrongdoings. They're like the albino that whipped himself in The Da Vinci Code, only instead of drawing blood they draw "Fuck you noobtard" comments. It's either a subconscious way to feel like they're paying back the world for their sins, or they're just so out of self-esteem that they can't muster the energy to defend themselves."
TRAC, that description fits you so well it's actually scary. I wonder if the author of the article witnessed your little mauling on the RSTDT threads.
Here's the thing, this isn't about proving that Whitey is superior to everyone else or whatever. The scientific consensus on that is crystal clear, race as a biological category does not exist, period. Here's another quote
"The peoples of the world today appear to possess equal biological potential for assimilating any human culture. Racist political doctrines find no foundation in scientific knowledge concerning modern or past human populations."
That's from the American Association of Physical Anthropologists, here's another link: http://www.physanth.org/positions/race.html
There's no more point in debating race than there is debating pink unicorns. Some people might believe in them, but neither actually exists.
The real reason your here TRAC is that you have monstrously low self esteem. The descriptions of you being sexually humiliated by groups of adversaries are a very apt metaphor. You are putting your hand up for ritual punishment and humiliation.
You're like the kid who wants the attention from the teacher so bad he acts like an idiot just so he gets told off.
And every time it happens you hate it, but you can't get through the day without making it happen again.
It's not hard to see that this is actually hurting you, your "jokes" betray only bitterness and loathing and your "comments" are mere invitations for others to heap abuse on you.
I have a suggestion TRAC, do something you said you were going to do - leave! Call it quits, games over - you lost.
Once you've done that, do something constructive with your life. Life is too short to waste in hatred and bitterness, lighten up already.
Cheers.
