Quote# 64243

[House Strips Funding for Abstinence Education]

"We've got news for the condom worshipers," says Leslee Unruh, President of the National Abstinence Clearinghouse, "abstinence education is not going away any time soon. Taxpayers will not tolerate their money being used for ideological latex-only programs and the molestation of their children's minds and future."

Leslee Unruh, Christian News Wire 60 Comments [7/22/2009 7:26:10 PM]
Fundie Index: 48
Submitted By: Sayna

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Condom worship? Now i've heard everything.

'save us from our sins oh mighty and unfailing, if used correctly, latex sheaf.'

7/22/2009 7:28:00 PM


See, here's the thing. Proper sex ed still acknowledges abstinence as the only 100% way of preventing STIs and pregnancy. We just acknowledge that not everyone will adhere to that. As such, we teach other methods that will still protect your kids from unwanted pregnancy, disease, and potentially, a premature death. I know, we're evil, horrible people.

7/22/2009 7:33:17 PM

Oh, the irony.

7/22/2009 7:46:43 PM

The Watcher

Taxpayers will not tolerate their money being used for ideological latex-only programs and the molestation of their children's minds and future.

I agree. We won't. Nor did we before, for that matter. Nor will will, or have we, ever.

Good thing comprehensive sex ed is not that.

7/22/2009 7:48:04 PM

"The Condom Worshippers?" Great name for a band... or something...

And Leslee, you don't know what you're talking about. What you describe is not sex ed.

7/22/2009 7:58:56 PM


Condom worshiping? Does anyone really remotely worship to condoms?

I wouldn't go around calling people who don't agree with Abstinence only programs "condom worshipers". I mean, what is with your reverence towards the Abstinence only programs?
Are you an abstinence worshiper Leslee Unruh?

7/22/2009 8:07:32 PM


GigaGuess said what I was going to say, only more concisely.

Though masturbation is also 100% effective at preventing STIs and pregnancy.

7/22/2009 8:10:55 PM

Caustic Gnostic

What is "No-no-no" worth to the taxpayer anyway?

There's no inherent worth in denial. I'd rather see the young'uns taught Reality, and given access to any prophylaxis. They have every right to expect real solutions to real issues, imo.

7/22/2009 8:13:32 PM


Not when we tell them that comprehensive sex education programs are less of a drain on their wallets than teenage mothers.

7/22/2009 8:29:19 PM


Lmfao wut

7/22/2009 8:32:20 PM


1) Sit down.

2) Shut up.

7/22/2009 8:34:04 PM

No One


If they actually follow their own scripture, they would have to admit that abstinence is actually 99.9% effective.

7/22/2009 8:46:53 PM


"abstinence education is not going away any time soon.
Because it's worked so well. Giving us the highest rates of teen pregnancy since the 50's.

Oh and since this is so stupid, we need an LOLcat

7/22/2009 8:49:17 PM


Wait, I thought they *took away* funding for abstinence only. Also, as a parent, I'd like to say I'd RATHER my child abstained until adulthood but REALISTICALLY I'd be ok if they just didn't have any kids until they really want to. Just keep your creepiness in your own family, kthnxbai.

7/22/2009 8:57:12 PM


Or, is it that tax-payers will not tolerate some ridiculous bonehead lying about some of the smart people worshipping condoms? Just because your life is tied up in worship doesn't mean that all others worship something. Condoms are a good idea, but we do not worship them.

7/22/2009 9:00:32 PM

Philbert McAdamia

You never know when a god is going to come around dressed up like an angel or a swan and knock up a virgin. It's happened so many times in the past. So nothing is 100% if you're a believer.

7/22/2009 9:06:07 PM

Lord X

Honestly, you're a moron. I know from experience that abstinence only policies DON'T WORK. The reason they don't work is because all they say is "sex before marriage is bad." Guess what dumbass? That doesn't say anything. It doesn't tell them the risks of unwanted pregnancy or STDs. If you don't tell them any specific details, they are going to completely ignore their "education" because they are going learn more about sex from their friends than from their "education" and their friends are going to talk about how great sex is. They aren't going to say "be sure to practice safe sex" they are going to say "she's hot, so she probably fucks like a goddess."

7/22/2009 9:08:01 PM


we'll let you have an opinion on sex once you actually have it.

7/22/2009 9:11:19 PM


"Taxpayers will not tolerate their money being used for ideological latex-only programs"

Yeah! Only ideological religious right programs!

7/22/2009 9:19:23 PM


I wouldn't have such a problem with abstinence education if it didn't try to teach children that having sex before marriage will lead to doomed relationships.

Oh, and if it worked.

7/22/2009 9:42:09 PM


Wait, now you can mentally molest someone?

Great, I'd like to press charges against Ms. Unruh, for molesting my mind with this drivel!`

7/22/2009 9:53:33 PM


Prayer For The Safe Passage Of Semen

Let not the storms and tempestuous passions
sway us from following your mighty guidance most Holy Condom.
When we visit foreign ports O Sublime Covering, we pray that you are always in our pockets.
And O mighty Sheath, please give us protection so that we may not catch the pox
And please O Ribb-ed Splendour, let not our semen enter into our girlfriends vagina and keep her safe from pregnancy.
O Holy Condom of the Universe we give thanks to you that you may not be holey.
You keepeth away the dreaded syphilis and the unholy gonorrhea for which we give thanks.


7/22/2009 10:21:31 PM

Abstinence-only worked for me, now I'm afraid to approach people of the opposite gender and I wasn't before - wait, there seems to be something inherently wrong with that.

7/22/2009 10:30:41 PM


Well, if I were an american taxpayer I wouldn´t want my money to be abused for some kind of pseudo sex-ed, like "Abstinence only".
Wouldn´t want my daughter to kome home pregnant one time, because she nevr learned about condoms or the pill.

7/22/2009 10:53:26 PM


Hail the almighty Condom, destroyer of worlds.

7/22/2009 11:01:33 PM

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