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Quote# 64366

My wife is going to get baptized in a about a week.. Today she came up to me and asked me an interesting question.. She was wandering if she is on her period during the baptism will she be considered unclean, since in the old testament there are some indications this female time period was considered unclean.


Julian4jc, Rapture Ready 63 Comments [7/25/2009 12:22:14 PM]
Fundie Index: 17
WTF?! || meh
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sandmantate

You mean to say that you don't send your wife into the wilderness during her time of the month? Blasphemer.


Edit: for the record; there aren't any "indications" it's fucking blatant.

7/25/2009 12:23:37 PM

Clown

And problems with bible literalism continue...

7/25/2009 12:25:17 PM

Dr. Gus

She'll be unclean if she doesn't wear a tampon :D

7/25/2009 12:29:11 PM

Survival Of The Shittest

No, she is not "unclean" but she is a moron.

7/25/2009 12:30:40 PM

Woody

Why do I keep hearing bells?

"Unclean......unclean......"

7/25/2009 12:34:00 PM

aaa

This is going to get interesting.

7/25/2009 12:34:42 PM

werewolf

Yes, it was.

This is the reason why polygamy, concubinage, anal sex and fellatio were invented. You, the Master of the House, can still get your jollies no matter the time of month.

You owe it to your wife to enlighten her about this state of affairs as per your book of fantasies. She may still be harboring thoughts of equality and independence, and that's a definite no-no.

That's a Master's responsibility. Be sure to have a whip handy in case she balks at the idea.

Assert your Christian love.

7/25/2009 12:38:58 PM

CailinBan

It's quite interesting to see how they keep banging up against the inherent contradictions, but then explain them away somehow.

7/25/2009 12:39:24 PM

Darwin's Lil' Girl

Why was your wife wandering? Bring her home, do!

7/25/2009 12:59:40 PM

Cthuluman

Idiots. I wish someone would just go and take out all these religous nutjobs. I would pay my right and very best arm that I have to see every single X-tian fall on their knees and beg to be killed quickly. Hmm you all are idiots my friend. Whom else here feels the same as I do?

7/25/2009 1:31:31 PM

EvoPagan

She should probably keep wandering right the hell on away from you and your goofy church.

7/25/2009 1:53:53 PM

Pule Thamex

It'll be good to formally initiate her in to the fold, you will then be able to officially declare her to be a fully certified drooling moron. As to her propensity for wandering while on her period during a baptism, you might have to tie her down. Just make sure that she's there, right after taking a shower, that way she won't be unclean.

I must say, I do find your folksy customs to be so quaint. It's very interesting to note that the rituals of your particular folk cult do remind one so much of the the rites and rituals of the Umbooga tribe in the Congo jungle. And, if you don't consider their apparel, your rites and rituals bear more than a passing resemblance to those of the cross-dressers of Rome.

7/25/2009 2:03:41 PM

Zoo

That's not that interesting really. Besides, I though that was one of the things in the old testament you don't worry about unless it serves your purposes.

7/25/2009 2:04:46 PM

Anonymous

*sigh*

No matter how far we like to think we have come, we're always just a few short steps away from a stoning.

7/25/2009 2:15:03 PM

demodocos

"some" indications


lol

7/25/2009 2:35:59 PM

Thundersqueaks

You're right. God considers women to be icky when they're having a period. He also gets a fit of the giggles when he thinks about their down below area.

7/25/2009 2:41:42 PM

Sisyphus

As long as she wears a tampon she'll be fine. Well, not mentally fine, it's WAY too late for her to be mentally fine ever again. She won't "dirty" the water though with her nasty womanliness.

*mutters under breath* fucking sadistic chauvinistic bastard of a religion

7/25/2009 2:43:46 PM

Doug

How come you haven't made her pregnant already? That would take care of that problem.

7/25/2009 2:45:24 PM

Caustic Gnostic

Do the Jews baptize? WTF about the OT?

7/25/2009 3:03:26 PM

Ken

Dude, you were once nourished by what could have become menstrual fluid.

The buybull is so sexist, but that probably appeals to the fundies.

7/25/2009 3:10:51 PM

EllwyenDarwin

"since in the old testsment there are some indications this female time period was considered unclean."

19)And if a woman have an issue, and her issue in her flesh be blood, she shall be put apart seven days: and whosoever toucheth her shall be unclean until the even.

20)And every thing that she lieth upon in her separation shall be unclean: every thing also that she sitteth upon shall be unclean.

21)And whosoever toucheth her bed shall wash his clothes, and bathe himself in water, and be unclean until the even.

22)And whosoever toucheth any thing that she sat upon shall wash his clothes, and bathe himself in water, and be unclean until the even.

23)And if it be on her bed, or on any thing whereon she sitteth, when he toucheth it, he shall be unclean until the even.

24)And if any man lie with her at all, and her flowers be upon him, he shall be unclean seven days; and all the bed whereon he lieth shall be unclean.

Leviticus(KJV)

Sounds pretty blatant to me.

*EDIT*
@Cthuluman
Are you trying to get yourself quoted here?Yes,they can be idiots but progress comes from leading by example not mass slaughter.You make suggestions like that then you are just as idiotic.

7/25/2009 3:12:26 PM

GodotIsWaiting4U

Yes, let's call a completely natural and healthy process evil.

7/25/2009 3:15:27 PM

BobsOldSocks

The poor woman, married to an arsehole who promotes such bullshit. And I bet it was his idea she get baptised, too.

7/25/2009 3:28:53 PM

Old Viking

This is the sort of issue they spend lots of time worrying about.

7/25/2009 3:52:55 PM

Painful

As was posted by EllwyenDarwin - the bible is very clear on this. Strict jewish women often wear dark panties leading up to their period since the interpretation is that she isn't unclean UNTIL SHE NOTICES BLOOD.

In fact, it is interesting that strict jewish couples will never touch each other in public because touching (even a hand) is forbidden during the women's unclean time and in order not to embarrass or let anyone know when she is unclean they will never touch in public as to not arouse suspicion. In some ways the jewish laws of feminine hygiene and sex are really interesting - other ways pretty f'ed up.

PS if you'd just let her use BC/Patch/Ring/Shots she could "skip" a bleed and not have to worry.... oh wait...

7/25/2009 4:03:50 PM
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