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Quote# 64367

[Re: God "Testing" Abraham by telling him to sacrifice his son Isaac]

Because Abraham had free will just like the rest of God’s children. So God tested his faith, to see if he would truly put the Lord’s will before everything earthly.

It is not cruel, because God loves all of his children, and even if Isaac had died he would have just gone up to live with God in heaven. In fact, it’s almost like teasing Isaac, because he almost got an express ticket to the pearly gates.

Tobytwo, Unreasonable Faith 39 Comments [7/31/2009 3:23:26 PM]
Fundie Index: 32
Submitted By: Comhradh
WTF?! || meh
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tracer

"even if Isaac had died he would have just gone up to live with God in heaven"


No he wouldn't have, because Jesus hadn't come along yet. I mean, duh.

7/31/2009 3:29:55 PM

Doctor Whom

Why does an omniscient God need to test anyone's faith? Why does an omnibenevolent God need to do so in such a nasty manner?

7/31/2009 3:30:16 PM

RavenWood

He told him to kill his son for the lulz. That's messed up no matter how you slice it.

7/31/2009 3:51:46 PM

Wehpudicabok

If God can make everyone perfectly happy in heaven, why doesn't he just put us there in the first place, and get rid of Earth? What's the point? Don't say something stupid like "testing our faith/virtue/morality" because there are lots of babies who die and I'm always told they go straight to Heaven before their morals are even developed, much less tested.

7/31/2009 3:52:49 PM

Old Viking

Among fundies stuff like this passes as brilliant insight.

7/31/2009 4:03:15 PM

Semi-Christian

God's hatred for mankind (and his habit of 'testing') is one of the reasons I have a 'semi' in my user name. Why does the omnipresent being who controls all have to 'test' us to determine what he already knows? Is he fucking with us?

7/31/2009 4:06:07 PM

tracer

Wehpudicabok asked:

"If God can make everyone perfectly happy in heaven, why doesn't he just put us there in the first place, and get rid of Earth?"


Or why didn't he just make Earth exactly like heaven in the first place?

What's that you say, Mister Biblical Apologist? Because He wanted man to have Free Will?

So what you're saying is ... in Heaven, there is no Free Will?

7/31/2009 4:09:25 PM

WMDKitty

Child Murder for Jesus... *sigh*

7/31/2009 4:25:49 PM

Papabear

So, God's criterion is "If you won't kill your child for me, you're not really worthy of me?" Truly wonderful.

7/31/2009 4:26:46 PM

EllwyenDarwin

"In fact, it’s almost like teasing Isaac"

Your god has a sick sense of humour.

7/31/2009 4:48:17 PM



Ok, he abandons his house and his life to follow him and he has to test his faith, why exactly?. I prefer the symbolic interpretation given by my religion teacher, that it was a vestige of the sacrifice of the first born symbolically being abolished.

7/31/2009 4:50:08 PM

Vince

and what would have happened to Abraham should he have used his "free will" to not kill his own child.

just guessing here, but I'm thinking god wouldn't have been happy. like that time the kind old lord of ours turned a women to salt for looking over her shoulder. or the time mosses wasn't aloud to enter the promised land, after all his faithful service, because he broke a rock. doesn't he just love us so.

7/31/2009 5:30:07 PM

Headache


Whoohooo!

More fap'ing from a Death & Torture Cult member...



7/31/2009 5:44:42 PM

Arts_Myth

@tracer (#997898): Or why didn't he just make Earth exactly like heaven in the first place?

Did you know that the first Earth was designed to be a perfect human world? Where none suffered, where everyone would be happy. It was a disaster. No one would accept the program. Entire crops were lost.

7/31/2009 5:56:48 PM



So, God tells Abraham to kill his own son, the son that he and Sarah had been praying for ages to have together, Abraham drags Isaac up to the mountain just to prove to God how obedient he is, and at the very moment that he's holding a knife to his own son's throat, God suddenly changes his mind and says, "PSYCH! Thanks for showing me how faithful you are, Abe, but I was just kidding! Take your son back home, I'm sure you haven't traumatized him or anything!"

And you see nothing wrong with this?

7/31/2009 6:11:32 PM

ireadabouttheafterlife

How about you take an express ticket if it's so fantastic.

7/31/2009 6:23:19 PM

Helel

I'm reminded of one of Family Guy's non sequitors. Basically showed those two walking down a hill when Isaac asks what the hell that was about.

7/31/2009 6:55:56 PM

Stimbo

Toby... there's a special place for 'people' like you who think that murder, attempted or not, can be justified as a "test of faith".

It's called the Nutty Room.

7/31/2009 7:02:08 PM

Caustic Gnostic

g0d: "Ha ha, just kidding...PSYCH!"

Abraham: "Fucking bastard."

Isaac: "Fucking bastard."

g0d: "Not so fast, I still want blood! Kill me a goat!"

Protip. Any god-thing who demands blood is not a good god-thing.

7/31/2009 7:16:06 PM

JonnyTruant

God told me to kill you. Don't worry, you're just getting an express ride to heaven.

no, I don't think that's nearly as reassuring as you think it is. And it's a lousy excuse for murder.

7/31/2009 7:22:06 PM

Horsefeathers

"Because Abraham had free will just like the rest of God’s children. So God tested his faith, to see if he would truly put the Lord’s will before everything earthly."

I thought your god was an omnimax deity. You know, omniscient and all. Why would he need to test anyone?

"It is not cruel, because God loves all of his children, and even if Isaac had died he would have just gone up to live with God in heaven."

So if someone were to murder you then we shouldn't do anything about it because you'll be floating around in the clouds with your new set of wings and halo while strumming your harp, right?

"In fact, it’s almost like teasing Isaac, because he almost got an express ticket to the pearly gates."

Tell me, were you this psychotic before your religion poisoned your mind or did it happen after the years of indoctrination?

7/31/2009 7:57:39 PM

Drax

Why does God need to 'test' anything? He's omniscient, right?

7/31/2009 9:53:34 PM

GodotIsWaiting4U

Wow, so Abraham WANTED his son to die? And you consider him HONORABLE because of this?

Also, KILL YOUR KID NOW AND SEND HIM ON THE EXPRESS TRAIN TO PARADISE!

7/31/2009 11:20:54 PM

aaa

Oh, dear.

8/1/2009 12:30:26 AM

Clown

"So God tested his faith, to see if he would truly put the Lord’s will before everything earthly."

How can ANYTHING be against the will of omnipotent, omniscient being? And why would such being need to test anything?

8/1/2009 1:44:35 AM
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