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Quote# 64455

Bible skeptics, did you know the Bible predicted global warming?

The Bible reveals that in the near future, there is coming a time of great distress upon the earth: “And there shall be signs in the sun, and in the moon, and in the stars; and upon the earth distress of nations, with perplexity; the sea and the waves roaring; men’s hearts failing them for fear, and for looking after those things which are coming on the earth: for the powers of heaven shall be shaken” (Luke 21:25-26).


If the Bible is not divine, how could they have specifically predicted climate change thousands of years in advance?

Naomi, Y! answers 73 Comments [7/29/2009 1:57:03 AM]
Fundie Index: 40
WTF?! || meh
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SurfinSeaOtter

How the hell do you get global warming out of that?

7/29/2009 2:03:25 AM

Paschal Wagner

So basically, the Bible knew that people could see stars, that nations tend to go to war, and that... water is wet.

Wow.

7/29/2009 2:05:01 AM

muters

That 'specifically predicts' nothing. It's just one of many indistinct predictions that could, and no doubt will, be applied to anything bad that occurs in the world.

Assuming God exists, and He actually does have foreknowledge of disasters and calamities, He must be pretty annoyed with the authors of the Bible. His wisdom has effectively been boiled down to, 'Some bad shit's gonna go down, the sky and the sea'll be, like, whuushhhhhhh, and people'll be, like, woahhhhh, and Christians'll be all, "Yeah, dude."'

7/29/2009 2:29:27 AM

AuraTwilight

" If the Bible is not divine, how could they have specifically predicted climate change thousands of years in advance?"

Because any fuckwit can tell that...uh...water goes wooosh?

Also, how is thousands of years the near future? Especially since this prediction took a third of the universe's entire history, according to you people?

7/29/2009 2:43:27 AM

DarkfireTaimatsu

Bible believers, did you know you're full of shit?

7/29/2009 2:58:11 AM

fairylightfoot

This could equally be 'predicting' a comet or meteorite hit or near miss. Or an underwater or surface vulcano with associated atmospheric disturbances. Or some maybe earthquakes with landslides and tsunami - I don't know whether this could cause atmospheric changes, though.
'Signs' could even be strictly astrological in character, in which case nothing is really being 'predicted' except some stormy weather.
This is not a very specific global warming 'prediction'.

7/29/2009 3:00:00 AM

EvoPagan

People who misuse Yahoo Answers for the purposes of religious proselytizing, did you know you are all dolts and morons?

7/29/2009 3:01:22 AM

Swedish Pagan

If the Bible predicts it, how come there are so many conservative Christans refusing to see that the climate is changing rapidly?

And how can you get those words to mean Global Warming? What are the signs in the sun, in the moon, in the stars? There is no change up there.
And how many other things have people interpreted that to mean, over the years? The "great" thing about prophecies are that they are so muddled and woolly that they can mean just about anything and everything, all at the same time.

7/29/2009 3:12:32 AM

Clown

Bah, I've got better prophecies.

http://www.fstdt.net/QuoteComment.aspx?QID=39787&Page=3

Worship me. I'm better than the bible. At least in prophecy bussines. Not at all in ass whipe bussines.

7/29/2009 3:40:14 AM

Eden

You need a lot of fantasy to read this as a prophecy of global warming.

Even the prophecies of Nostradamus are more specific

;)

7/29/2009 3:55:46 AM



Vague, like every prediction of thf bible. And you call that proof? Diaf and our average IQ may go up by a few points.

7/29/2009 4:04:05 AM

Raskolnikov

That's the reason why you can never convince fundies by argument. Just a while ago, Global warming was a satanic hoax, now that they can't deny it, it's foreshadowed in the bible.

Despicable.

7/29/2009 4:44:53 AM

Nathan the Wise

And there shall in that time be rumours of things going astray, and there will be a great confusion as to where things really are, and nobody will really know where lieth those little things with the sort of raffia work base, that has an attachment that will not be there. At this time a friend shall lose his friends's hammer and the young shall not know where lieth the things possessed by their fathers that their fathers put there only just the night before ...

7/29/2009 5:03:01 AM

Hirsute_Nailbomb

@muters - you win one internets. :)

7/29/2009 5:07:49 AM

Philbert McAdamia

One of my all time favorite quotes:

"They were not they for they one were. One was and not they them."_____________Joseph Campbell


Makes as much sense.

7/29/2009 5:10:15 AM

Big Jilm

Oh that's specific alright.

It basically says, paraphrased, "something will happen!"

Incomes you declaring it a prophecy.

7/29/2009 5:16:43 AM

arcturus

That's not very specific.

7/29/2009 5:23:24 AM

Nowonmai

What? How the f**k do you get global warming out of that?

7/29/2009 5:42:47 AM

Orion

"predicted global warming?...predicted climate change thousands of years in advance?"

Wait, which one is it predicting?

7/29/2009 5:58:53 AM

Mister Spak

If global warming doesn't exist, how could the bible predict it?

7/29/2009 6:04:13 AM

Tempus

I IS BLENDING YOU TO DEATH! YOU Naomi YOU COCKLESS COCKER OF COCKY COCKHOLES! YOU IS SCREAMING AND SHITTING AND PUKING BY PREDICTING? DOES YOU KNOW WHAT IS PREDICTING! WITCHCRAFT! I IS POURING BOILING VINEGAR IN YOUR EYES!

7/29/2009 6:10:35 AM

Blag

Over on Baptist Board, they keep saying that global warming is a vast conspiracy. So which is it?

7/29/2009 6:13:09 AM

Tolpuddle Martyr

Remind me not to specifically ask you for directions.

7/29/2009 6:17:21 AM

Caustic Gnostic

The old storytellers ran out of material, so they started imagining their strange dreams as visions of the future. That's no surprise.

Modern-day people who believe that shit, on the other hand,...

7/29/2009 7:02:24 AM

John

No, no ... that wasn't a prediction of global warming - that was a prediction of Hurricane Katrina - no, wait - it was a prediction of the Lisbon earthquake of 1755 - or, no, wait! wait! I've got it! It was a prediction of the tsunami in Indonesia!

7/29/2009 7:19:50 AM
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