[The whole site is hillarious, but this is one of the best parts I found on it]
BOAST OF A 13 YEAR OLD GOD HATER
Hi,I am a 13 year old atheist... Adult atheists will not admit it, but this is why I am such a diabolical kid. Atheism, which is really true satanism, prompts me to cause trouble. I cause a lot of trouble for my parents, and they are afraid of me. I deliberately make school hell. I like taunting and beating up on weak kids and Christian kids. I like giving the teachers and principal a hard time. They also are afraid of me. I like to make a name for myself among my friends so I do things deliberately to get in trouble with the law. I dare even law enforcement to apprehend me. Hey, atheists have fixed the laws of american in such a way that I am not afraid to do anything wrong. I can do anything and nothing will happen to me.
84 comments
Repeat, but from a loooong time ago, and it's not even his. Some other loony wrote it.
Falsely witnessnessing, buddy.
Hi, I'm a Christian propagandist. I lack the empathy to put myself in the position of a fictional character and I'm unable to write a story from his point of view. As a result, I sound like Jack's Colon from old-ass Reader's Digests.
Hey,
I remember this... it's from the batshit mentalist ravings of Robert T. Lee over at this website., in the 'exposing the atheist' section.
http://www.tencommandments.org/
Looks like this letter has been lifted and it's now doing the rounds.
Hi, I'm a PC. I don't like to get caught up in religiouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuufskdnsdkfsdfksdfnsdnfksfnkjsdnfksdjfksdjfnsdkjfnsjfnksdfnkjfdnksjfnf
A FATAL EXCEPTION 4B HAS OCCURED AT 0A3F:10AD76FB. THE CURRENT APPLICATION WILL BE TERMINATED.
* PRESS ANY KEY TO TERMINATE THE CURRENT APPLICATION.
PRESS ANY KEY TO CONTINUE _
Fabulous. This is good news indeed. I know you're perhaps a bit too young at the moment, but I bet you can't wait until your 16 when you can legally gain entrance to the cannibal lounge and enjoy a relaxing evening partaking of baby burgers and roast infant. Or do you prefer your young 'uns raw?
As one dedicated atheist to another, I do advise you to commit as many crimes as you possibly can, and hope you gain a great deal of enjoyment from doing so. However, there is one proviso, do not get caught by the authorities as you will be sent to prison. You might think that that would be a small price to pay, but I must warn you, you will be vastly out numbered in prison by Christians, most of whom are into homosexual rape, Hardly the ideal surroundings for an atheist.
Good luck with your godless criminal spree and give my regards to Satan.
"I can do anything and nothing will happen to me."
Guess again kiddo. It's just a matter of time before it catches up with you. There's a few million adults out there who can tell you that from experience.
Complete fake, they don't even know how to pretend to be an atheist "Atheism, which is really true satanism" "taunting and beating up on weak kids and Christian kids" "do things deliberately to get in trouble with the law"
C'mon, get more creative funtard
Why doesn't anybody do a Christian one, I mean... I see a few people who want to do to Christians what they did to Pagans between now and 1900 years ago, I don't see how it would really be 'sinking to their level' anymore than what's already been going on with a few people.
An atheist wouldn't use a religious metaphor ("make school hell"--I would say "make school worse than an Ann Coulter 'book'," for instance). Also, this has as much to do with atheism as child-molesting has to do with Christianity.
Okay, so whats the difference between this and the same kid jumping up and down screaming PAY ATTENTION TO MEEEEEE
Oh right, people actually freak out about this. Negative attention is better than no attention at all.
Hi, I am a piece of propaganda! Adult fundies won't admit it but I'm ABSOLUTE BULLSHIT.
So much for "Thou shalt not bear false witness".
i'm not even sure what the hell this is supposed to mean, or what kind of point this person is trying to prove. especially this line, "Hey, atheists have fixed the laws of american in such a way that I am not afraid to do anything wrong. I can do anything and nothing will happen to me."
huh??? what laws have "atheists" fixed? is this person seriously suggesting that "atheists" are somehow above the law? i don't get it.
I have seen through your clever subterfuge.
Well, not really. You are such a bad liar the only people you fooled are your fellow brain dead fundies.
Clearly this is a atheist hiding as a christian to make atheists look bad as he is a christian really secretly pretending to be an atheist straw-man christian hiding under a false shade of Buddhism to make the former two parties look bad...
it's the best explanation there is.
Completely ignoring the fact that you are a lying, plagiarizing sack of shit, atheists picking on the poor Christian kids? HAH! Tell your kid to walk in the middle of the class and say s/he doesn't believe in God, and see how many bruises s/he comes home with.
I'm an Atheist... You're 13, you're also an uneducated little git
You clearly don't know what Atheism means, but the one thing it is NOT is Satanic.
I hope when you get older (before you hurt somebody) you end up in jail for life.
Otherwise, if you'd care to make your way to Perth Australia, I'd happily beat the living shit through you just so you know what it's like for the poor smaller and "weaker" children.
Granted I'm 21 years old and a girl, but i'm pretty small. And it would make it all the funnier.
Oh and don't beat up Nerds, they become your bosses, or in you case, parole officers
Atheism is Satanism?
That says it all. Troll.
I smell poe.
But if this is real, I feel sorry for you when you land in jail getting beat up daily by large Marge.
I dare even law enforcement to apprehend me.
Why? So the whole world can see you crying to your mommy on cops like all the other teenage punks?
There's no way this was written by a true atheist, and probably not by a 13 year old. It's just full of too many Christian misconceptions about atheism, including atheism=satanism, atheists hate God, atheists think they can do whatever they want without repercussions, etc.
Hi, I am a 14 year old atheist... Adult atheists will admit that I am not a diabolical kid. Atheism, which is entirely unrelated to satanism, does not prompt me to cause trouble. I do not cause much trouble for my parents, and they are not afraid of me. I do not make school any worse than it has to be. I do not taunt or beat up weak kids or Christian kids. I don't give the teachers or principal a hard time. They aren't afraid of me. I don't make a name for myself amongst my friends, and I don't do anything to get in trouble with the law. I don't provoke law enforcement to get me. And I do this even though the laws of America have been mostly created by Christians in such a way that I am afraid to do anything wrong. I can't do anything, or else something will happen to me.
See what I did there?
Nice straw man you have there. No cookie for you.
Lying for Jesus award, though? Yes, you may have one.
Guess what? I was an atheist at thirteen too. I had good grades, wasn't impolite, and never got in trouble with the law. The fact that you're acting like a brat doesn't reflect badly on atheism, it reflects badly on you.
Aaaw, a sock-puppet atheist, how cute!
It seems like you're doing well in school at least, Edgar; your grammar and spelling is impeccable, especially for a 13-year-old.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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