Hot for God
i dont want to be lukewarm! how do i become hot for God? (cheering smiley)
85 comments
You may want to rethink your choice of words there...
But, why not just how Micah put it (6:8)--love justice, show mercy, walk calmly with God?
Wow. LittleLadyLovinGod, do you actually re-read you comments before pressing submit? Try to do that more often okay?
Unless of course you are a trolling or just trying to be satirical on RR, then okay with me, just keep doing what your doing. But if you are trying to be satirical, I don't think the RR crowd will get it. The replies you are getting are also worthy of being posted here.
@dpareja - Nevermind, you're right.
Am I the only one that noticed that pretty much half of all the quotes in this month have been absolutely fucking insane? Granted it's not a lot, but we're nearly to twenty already and half of them are just... fat-bottomed white girls and hot for god and... it's like, christ, did they all choose September to take their fucktard pills?
"I wanna get down on my knees and start pleasing Jesus
I wanna feel his salvation all over my face"
Eric Cartman,
South Park episode, Christian Rock Hard.
Just in case this is not a poe.
@toothache: You beat me to that South Park reference, so I'll do one of my own:
Whenever I see Jesus up on that cross, I can't help but think that he looks kinda hot...
Put on that cute little black dress, and dont forget the selsun blue..god doesnt like dandruf.
eh fuck it..the way things go, god would probably just enjoy watching you get raped and murdered and his ardent followers will say the devil did it or that it was part of gods plan to bring his followers closer together or some other bullshit like that.
"how do i become hot for God?"
You dirty girl, LittleLadyLovinGod. You Holy Spirit-hungering slutty whore! It's the boxing gloves for you at bedtime, you mucky little filthhound!
"how do i become hot for God?"
Most efficient way I know of is to have as much steamy premarital sex as you can.
Then He'll send you to Hell when you die so you can burn for eternity.
Is that hot enough for ya?
...Seriously. The sexual repression among this group takes on a life of its own.
Well, though her choice of phrasing leaves something to be desired, in all fairness I think she's taking this from the Book of Revelation 3:15&16: "I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarmneither hot nor coldI am about to spit you out of my mouth."
And now begin the smirky references to "spit you out of my mouth," you witty bastards.
She's got it bad, bad, bad,
she's hot for Jesus.
I promise it'll sound better with the drum solo.
"It is too disgraceful and ruinous, though, and greatly to be avoided, that [a non-Christian] should hear a Christian speaking so idiotically on these matters, and as if in accord with Christian writings, that he might say that he could scarcely keep from laughing when he saw how totally in error they are."
Augustine of Hippo (early 5th century AD)
@toothache, @PWEOTWEB
Fine, I'll just do a DIFFERENT one. :P
(sings)
The body of Christ, oh, what a body, all muscled up and toned! The body of Christ, sleek, swimmer's body, I wish I could call it my own! Oh, Lord Almighty, I've never been so enticed, I wish that I could have the body of Christ!
Botox, Lipo and a nice pair of FMBs.
(Yes, I'm aware this is likely a troll, but I couldn't resist.)
Fap, fap, fap, oh god, fap, fap, fap, oh god, OH GOD, fap, fap fap, Oooooooooh God!
Is that what you are asking?
You could drench yourself in pure capsaicin and petrol, and set yourself on fire?
Sure, it's hurt like a freakin' bitch, but there's no denying that your tempreture will have been elevated to the point of 'hot'.
You've got to admit, it's more attractive than "Kids on Fire."
God's a breast man. I have it on authority.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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