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Quote# 65806

(Topic title: Where do you buy lingerie?)

This is great question! I have been stumped regarding where to purchase fancy nightwear too. I think it's important to think about the message the store is sending and if it's advertising, displays and products honor God. It sounds picky, I know, but I can't justify giving money to stores that hurt marriages by doing things like displaying lewd/tempting ads. I want to praise God in the bedroom too!

salmonstate, Focus on the Family 73 Comments [9/20/2009 6:44:59 AM]
Fundie Index: 41
Submitted By: ozznova
WTF?! || meh
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Power Skunk

WARNING! LAME JOKE AHEAD!
"Praise god in the bedroom"
Spend a night with the Power Skunk and he'll have you screaming the names of God, baby.

Probably in either horror or hilarity.

9/20/2009 6:47:14 AM

Horsefeathers

"This is great question! I have been stumped regarding where to purchase fancy nightwear too."

Let me guess, "fancy nightwear" to you people is something that isn't a full body flannel suit with feet, right?

It's pretty obvious people like you think men have no self control whatever to begin with so I can't imagine people like you wear anything less than described above. Why, your husband might accidentally see some skin and be driven into an uncontrollable lust or something.

"I think it's important to think about the message the store is sending and if it's advertising, displays and products honor God."

Advertising that "honors god" is what the Church is for. Real stores honor the Almighty Dollar and revere anything that brings in more of them.

"It sounds picky, I know, but I can't justify giving money to stores that hurt marriages by doing things like displaying lewd/tempting ads."

I suspect you'd find Victorian Era advertising "lewd" and "tempting".

"I want to praise God in the bedroom too!"

If you hadn't married a sexually repressed fundy nut, and unfortunately be one yourself, you might have an orgasm once in a while and you'd really be "praising god" then.

9/20/2009 7:03:19 AM

Eimiilove

Giving new meaning to screaming "OH GOD" during sex...

9/20/2009 7:06:50 AM

John

I'll bet she's a bundle of fun in bed. [/sarcasm]

9/20/2009 7:12:12 AM

aaa

Try going commando.

9/20/2009 7:16:17 AM

Clown

Wow. And all that on the site named Focus on the Family. Just wow.

9/20/2009 7:22:10 AM

Canadiest

A lingerie store that honors God? I don't think thats possible as lingerie is revealing by definition. And we all know how fundies hate that.

Does she think lingerie is what you sleep in for comfort? Because that's usually nude or pajamas

9/20/2009 7:27:04 AM

Thinking Allowed

It's a good thing then that granny's flannel nightgowns are all the rage in lingerie stores.

9/20/2009 7:51:05 AM

Tallyho

Does not compute!

9/20/2009 7:57:02 AM

peabody

Any marriage that is hurt by an underwear ad is on shaky ground to begin with. I would think that that goes without saying, but hey what do I know?

9/20/2009 8:23:58 AM

Mookie Blaylock

The standard-issue, fake cries of "Oh God, oh God" that I usually get are bad enough... but this is a whole 'nother level.

9/20/2009 8:28:21 AM

The FBI is controlling your thoughts via your toaster

So... this means an end to shopping at Walmart?

9/20/2009 8:36:03 AM

John_in_Oz

You could perhaps use holy handcuffs, or try a devout dildo. Perhaps the face of Jesus printed on knickers over your vagina, or is that just for Brides of Christ?
You could try a ceiling mirror to reflect on the relationship between man and God.
Maybe a Teddy with holes in it, symbolising the holes in his hands and feet, or perhaps anal lube to symbolise your wifely submission to your husband?
Hope I've been of some help with these suggestions.

9/20/2009 8:37:30 AM

Lucilius

Ask Mitt Romney where he gets his sacred Underoos.

@John_in_Oz: I did read about a San Francisco business that makes dildos in the shape of religious figures. As it is in San Francisco, they were discontinuing the Buddha model as too offensive, but were still making the "Jackhammer Jesus."

9/20/2009 8:52:36 AM

Reverend Jeremiah

God DAMN..does every fucking thing have to "honor god" to you fucking cultists. I suppose and atheist meetup hall should also be set up to honor god as well. How about adult book shops..they have to have the look of honoring your god..how about Budhist temples, they have to honor your god to... you can praise god with your shriveled little fallacy all you want, but keep your cult bullshit to yourself.

FUCK OFF YOU FUCKING DOUCHE BAGS!!!!!

9/20/2009 8:55:30 AM

El Zorro

Underwear in honour of God?

9/20/2009 8:55:33 AM

EvoPagan

I believe that the Wally World has a wide variety of polyester mumus with nylon lace. You might check there.

9/20/2009 9:06:03 AM

Panz

Listen, moron, that tempting lingerie might actually save your fundu marriage by making him desire you more and you feeling wanted and loved.


Oh right, sex is bad...yeah, whatever bitch

9/20/2009 9:09:53 AM

Doctor Whom

If store displays hurt your marriage, then your marriage has bigger problems than store displays.

9/20/2009 9:10:11 AM

Headache

Hey salmonstate!
Is that cobweb between your legs?

9/20/2009 9:14:03 AM

Xotan

It should be easy.

Most modern lingerie is directly based on Revelation.

9/20/2009 9:28:58 AM

Hermione

Does it matter what you wear under your burka? It's not like you are going to turn the light on whilst you attempt to reproduce, now is it? And you guys don't have sex for any other reason, do you?

9/20/2009 9:30:09 AM

Sisyphus

Praising god in the bedroom?

I'm an atheist and I do that when my husband presses the right buttons.

9/20/2009 9:37:38 AM

Beeblebrox

I want to praise God in the bedroom too!

Your poor, poor husband. Of all the things that should be happening in a bedroom "praising God" is the very last one. For f**k's sake, get on your knees and blow that poor b*****d.



9/20/2009 9:59:33 AM

Godbuster

GAH! You're god doesn't want you to reproduce but you need to reproduce to continue the human race. WHY DOES NOONE UNDERSTAND THAT THIS MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE!!!

God even said be fruitful and multiply, which pretty much sounds to me like FUCK LIKE RABBITS!

9/20/2009 10:05:05 AM
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