I didn't descend from an ape. Now there are people that act like they descended from apes. They listen to rap music and drive purple cars!
37 comments
"Purple cars? WTF?"
Claycountryredneck has only seen pimps in the movies. For some bizarre reason, movie pimps always drive purple or pink cars.
Note to claycountryredneck: you are descended from the same distant ancestor as the great apes. You are not actually descended from the ape. However, I would say there's an asshole or two in your lineage.
What's wrong with rap music and purple cars anyway?
1. I share an ancestor with the great apes.
2. I dig hip hop (Wu-Tang, ya feel me?)
3. I wish I had a purple car.
4. I am smart and good looking.
Your attempt at a racist insult has backfired!
Re: glaycountyredneck
The 3rd Street Saints leader would like a few words with you, before he or she introduces you to their favourite Chainsaw, Katana, Shockpaddles, Baseball Bat, Machete, Anhiliator RPG launcher, Flamethrower, Minigun, or Foam Finger...
(Hint: He I suspect, has been playing far too much Saints Row 2, & as a result, believes it to be "Ultra Realistic"...
If that is the case, then my good friend Dane Vogel, would like to sell you some property in the district of Shivington... ).
"I didn't descend from an ape."
I fully acknowledge that I, a human (Homo Sapiens ), share at least 98% of my DNA with a chimpanzee (Pan Troglodytes ). Because the facts say so. This, coupled with all the anthropological evidence, proves that we humans are descended from a common ancestor of an ape-like species. But I can't be sure about you & your ilk, claycountyredneck:
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"Now there are people that act like they descended from apes. They listen to rap music and drive purple cars!"
Unlike you & your ilk, who listen to country & western music, drive pickups, marry your own fathers, eat biscuits & gravy (whilst watching ASSCAR, WWE, Fox News etc), fuck your guns (watch out for the rifling grooves - OYGK!), put on white hoods and do 'Sieg Heil' salutes to burning crosses, vote Repubican and believe in an 'invisible friend'. All whilst tossing off to the Confederate flag of your nation:
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The reason why those in the Bible Belt don't believe in Evolution, is because it hasn't happened there yet.
Man, moose, you really never pull your punches.
I am an ape. I wants purple car!
Not only are your ancestors apes, you are an ape. And so am I. And so is anyone who listens to rap music. And so is anyone who listens to country music. And so is anyone who listens to classic music. And so is anyone who drives any car of any color. And so is anyone who rides a bicycle. All humans are apes, as are all chimpanzees, all bonobos, all gorillas, and all orangutans. Get used to it. I know it might be something that's hard for you to accept, but just think about how much worse it is for everyone else -- all of the rest of us apes have to admit to sharing the same family as you do. It's especially bad for humans. Not only do we have to accept we are in the same family as an ignorant bigot like you, but that we are members of the same species.
Edit:
Anon-e-moose --
The reason why those in the Bible Belt don't believe in Evolution, is because it hasn't happened there yet.
That line just made my day.
@Anon-e-moose
Hey! I just so happen to live in the "Dumbfuckistan" you depicted (Missouri, Dumbfuckistan, by the way.) I have to say not all of us are ass backwards, although judging by the redneck douches that call themselves the "Tea Party", I understand why you guys can't stand the Bible Belt. (and believe you me, if I could leave, I'd take the first Greyhound to San Fransisco TONIGHT.)
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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