Quote# 66045

Psssh, of course the good Samaritan went to hell because he didn't accept Jesus Christ as his lord and savior, it doesn't matter if you're a good person, you just have to be Christian to get into heaven, haven't you learned anything here?''

KnaverAbounds, The Fighting Fundamental Forums  32 Comments [9/30/2009 10:38:34 PM]
Fundie Index: 17
Submitted By: Obito-san

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Then why should modern Samaritans be good? Perhaps you need to reevaluate the point Jesus was trying to make.

9/30/2009 10:40:19 PM


Perhaps what Jesus meant with his story is that:
As a christian you must be a wealthy obnixious prick that will not lift a finger for others.
Only people who are kind go to hell.
This of course makes a lot of sense when you compare it to modern christians.

9/30/2009 10:59:33 PM


If heaven is going to be filled only with blind-faith morons and a god that punishes non-worshipers with an eternity of torment that leads to two points:

Why would you want to spend eternity in that "heaven?"

Then hell would be filled with the people who are actually good human beings, and id much rather spend eternity there.

There you have it, if your version of god is true, then I would rather go to hell.

9/30/2009 11:00:46 PM


Judging from this guy's other posts, methinks he's being sarcastic.

Epic fail for you guys.

9/30/2009 11:27:11 PM


My poe senses are tingling.

9/30/2009 11:37:19 PM


It may very well be poe, but I live in the bible belt, and this is a mindset that I frequently come up against.

9/30/2009 11:43:00 PM


I second this statement.

It really dosen't matter for fundies to behave like normal, civilized persons. They "know", they can behave like those dumb, willfully ignorant, antisocial, self-centered morons/pricks/asses who they really are, because they will go to heaven anyway.

They have this secret weapon called "faith".

9/30/2009 11:49:03 PM


Okay, I call Poe.

9/30/2009 11:54:07 PM


This reminds me of Margaret Thatcher's interpretation of the story,'what was important about the Good Samaritan was that he had money'.

But yes, I think KnaverAbounds meant this sarcastically. It's one of the parables that wasn't thought through properly.

9/30/2009 11:54:22 PM


The Good Samaritan was a character in a parable. A fictional character used to illustrate a rhetorical point. See where this is going?

By the same logic, Little Red Riding-Hood went to Hell because she didn't accept Jesus as her saviour before the wolf ate her.

10/1/2009 12:07:01 AM

Wasn't the good Samaritan a parable? Even if you accept the Bible as fact, the Samaritan is still a fiction.

10/1/2009 12:08:34 AM


I don't call Poe, I call non-believer making a sarcastic point, which is not the same as Poe'ing, as he's not trying to impersonate a Christian.

10/1/2009 12:11:15 AM


This is irony. It doesn't even fall afoul of Poe's Law:
"Without a winking smiley or other blatant display of humor, it is impossible to create a parody of Fundamentalism that SOMEONE won't mistake for the real thing."
in view of the fact it had a 'whistling smiley' immediately after it in the text, though not in the quote.
Further down the same page the Poster observes "Religion is like gargoyles, an ineffective solution to a non-existent problem."

10/1/2009 12:20:52 AM


And that's why your evil, egomaniacal deity doesn't deserve worsphip.

10/1/2009 12:43:12 AM

Nathan the Wise

Mitchell & Webb did a great sketch about this:


10/1/2009 1:10:21 AM


Hmm, well that just completely fucks up the entire bloody point of the story.

This is why I hate Christianity.

10/1/2009 1:12:08 AM


Kind of defeats the whole purpose of christianity, doesn't it?

No wonder fundies are so fat & lazy, they don't think they have to do anything.

10/1/2009 1:56:56 AM

Pule Thamex

The main contenders for a rather long sojourn in hell tend to be comfortable and well-fed with easy access to life-prolonging, scientific and modern conveniences. Ally those hell-friendly living conditions with an abject failure to take advantage of a widely available education service and easily obtainable educative materials and combine with a willful desire to be barbaric despite living in a civilized society.

Additionally, take the egotistical view that it is perfectly alright to sail majestically through life lying ones head off, being deliberately deceptive, indulging in irrational hatreds and weakly giving in to ones worse desires and bigotries. Allow ones irresponsibility and laziness to propagate by passing it on to ones children. Attempt to justify ones base need for nastiness by interpreting ancient scriptures so that they can be claimed to support ones abhorrent views. Do all that, and you too can look forward to a decidedly warm afterlife.

10/1/2009 2:07:09 AM


This sort of sounds like sarcasm.

10/1/2009 3:05:46 AM


well, i'd like to counter that with my own argument. you're full of shit, your god is full of shit, and your morals aren't worth a shit. and a great big, hardy FUCK YOU from me to you.
and the really sad thing is, after they die, this person won't ever find out just how full of shit they were in life, because they'll be dead.
i mean, seriously, do these people know just how offensive this type of thinking is to humanity in general?

10/1/2009 4:53:28 AM


the good samaritan was an imaginary character used to illustrate a point; he didn't go anywhere.

10/1/2009 5:56:32 AM


"...you just have to be Christian to get into heaven..."

Soooo, if, for instance, we have someone who lives in the jungles of New Guinea and has never heard of your jesus character and in spite of this dedicates their life to helping others, they go to hell while a murdering, torturing, raping scum bag who converts to christianity at the last second goes to heaven?

Your god's an arsehole, you know that?

10/1/2009 6:04:43 AM

The L

Yes. I've learned that you people follow the sickest, most disturbingly twisted version of Christianity I've ever seen.

If I weren't already non-Christian, I'd deconvert solely on the basis of this shit right here.

10/1/2009 6:11:10 AM

Doubting Thomas

So I'm just going to give lip service to God & Jesus saying that I accept them as lord & savior, then go about treating everyone else like shit because I know I'm going to Heaven. Sounds like a good plan to me.

Seriously, where do these people get all this "you just have to accept Jesus as your savior" nonsense, and then forget all about what Jesus actually says in the bible? You know, the rare good stuff in that book, like feed the hungry, clothe the naked, help the poor, love your enemies, sell everything you have & give the money to the poor, etc? I guess that's a little inconvenient for most Christians nowadays, so it's easier just to say that Jesus is your savior.

*Edit* This is a poe judging from his other posts, but there's no shortage of Christians out there who actually believe that to get to heaven all you have to do is believe that Jesus is your savior.

10/1/2009 6:26:41 AM

Reverend Jeremiah

And yet more evidence that Christianity isnt about morals, its about adding more members to the cult for power and control of the priests.

10/1/2009 6:27:51 AM

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