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Quote# 6609

By God's standards, is letting your pet lick/kiss you considered beastiality?... Sometimes pets like dogs and cats like to show affection by coming up and licking or giving you a nudge on the face and what not. Do you think that letting your pet do this qualifies as beastiality?

Hughes, Rapture Ready 24 Comments [4/1/2004 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 4
WTF?! || meh
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1
#49224
Julian

The line is generally considered to involve peanut butter.

7/4/2006 5:39:47 AM

#107740
Zipperback

Yes, yes it does. In fact the animal initiated bestiality without your consent. If your dog licks you it's the eqivalent of being raped by your dog.

11/19/2006 7:57:21 AM

#107768
hairband

Sure. That's why there are loads of bestiality paysites out there with hot, uncensored facelicking action.

11/19/2006 12:35:26 PM

#107782
Archaeopath

I really, really pity God.

11/19/2006 1:16:11 PM

#141409
Rahab

This is just too funny.

1/18/2007 2:18:27 AM

#141419
DrWeird

Oh no...my cat walked across my crotch earlier today...does that mean I'm going to hell?

1/18/2007 2:26:14 AM

#141435
MILF-chan

So... when my cat schnooks me... he's actually trying to get it on? Gay beastiality? *dies* x_X

1/18/2007 2:36:36 AM

#176634
Øyvind

Only if you're not married.

3/5/2007 7:52:38 PM

#176652
Brian X

Another case of a good person being horribly screwed up by Christianity. It defies logic that someone would either wonder such a thing, and I hope they realize eventually that it's a silly question they need not worry about.

3/5/2007 8:23:06 PM

#176661
BurntBush

So I should stop letting my dog lick my balls?

3/5/2007 8:27:00 PM

#1249939
JustMe

My dog likes to get onto the bed and snuggle up with me and my husband. Yay! Threesome!!

1/28/2011 8:42:26 AM

#1249958
JohnTheAtheist

The things you people worry about. I mean seriously do you think that your pet thinks it is a sexual act when they "kiss" you? You can't be that stupid, can you?

Oh wait, Rapture Ready...sorry.

1/28/2011 9:20:20 AM

#1249963
Misterboston

It's a sin if you orgasm or your enjoyment of the licking distracts you from your enjoyment of God. God himself is the only being that can lick you immaculately.

1/28/2011 9:27:30 AM

#1249965
KR

Yes, yes it does. It's not natural for pets to bond with their owners, and show affection like that. If your pet tends to do these kinds of things, it probably has some sexual attire towards you, and should be considered sinful.

[/sarcasm]




1/28/2011 9:32:11 AM

#1292079
CanadianBroad

Only if it turns you on, you freak.

5/23/2011 8:43:10 AM

#1292309
Justanotheratheist

I can't think of anything better to say than...oh, for fuck's sake.

5/24/2011 6:12:38 AM

#1347161


After all, Jesus may have his reasons for not coming back.

11/7/2011 8:14:36 AM

#1348035
Canadiest

No, thats known as inter-species familiarity or affection. That you fundies can't see the difference explains your incest issues though.

It's not sex until it is. Get it?

11/10/2011 4:08:18 PM

#1348104
rubber chicken

It depends, does this behaviour make you all 'tingly'? Do you dream about your pet showing you affection and maybe a little more ? Do you reciprocate ?

11/10/2011 8:30:54 PM

#1348246
rw23

Yes, that's bestiality alright, you perverted sinner. You're going to burn in hell forever unless you make penance by selling all your worldly goods and donating the money raised to an animal shelter. There's is no other way -- act now or burn!

11/11/2011 11:29:08 AM

#1480035
granpappyjoebob

Hughes: Granpappy, is Ah a-goin' tuh Haayle fur beast-ah-aliteh 'cuz mah coon dawg likes a-likkin' mah fayce?
Granpappy: Shucks, Hughes, y'all KNOWS it's okaiy eein thuh aies of thuh LAWRD s'long as y'all thanks about JAYSUS whiyun y'all duz it. Naow go n' fahnd yuh sistuh, y'all's goy sum BAYBEH MAKIN' tuh do so y'alls kin GLAWRIFAH thuh LAWD n' make mo' li'l Chruschuns.

12/8/2012 7:14:50 AM

#1480247
xyz

> Sometimes pets like dogs and cats like to show affection by coming up and licking or giving you a nudge on the face and what not.
Do you know what a real "kiss" is?

12/8/2012 12:57:45 PM

#1480251
anti-nonsense

I doubt your dog has any sexual intent when licking you, so I think you are OK.

12/8/2012 1:00:55 PM

#1480712


Do you suck on or lick the dog in return ?
It is only a sin if you pet the dog or cat because its mutual enjoyment.


12/9/2012 11:12:51 AM
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