I'm a newlywed young wife in a Christian relationship. Me and my Husband both waited till marriage because we agreed it was the Lord's doing. The problem started happening when we first became intimate. I always felt Jesus was such a huge part of our relationship, that he should be part of our intimate life as well.
Every time we have had sex, I can never experience pleasure without imagining Jesus being there, and more specifically and embarrassing, my husband being Jesus.
64 comments
This reminds me of a church sign I saw once with the following verse:
Rev. 22:20 He which testifieth these things saith, Surely I come quickly. Amen. Even so, come, Lord Jesus.
I lol'ed
it's Focus on the Family, didn't they do the Whit's End comic stuff back in the day?? I certainly wouldn't have the balls to pull this kind of thing on them, if this is Poe...hahaha...either way, Classic. I would really, really love to see their responses to this if they take it seriously...
lol, so the second response actually gives some "helpful" (considering the viewpoint) advice, but the first one is mostly incomprehensible:
"i think god created man and woman to be together, and to enjoy each other, that your husband is a prince and you the princess and god is above, im no excpert at all but i know he wouldnt give it to you for you to feel like your doing it wrong he gave it to you to enjoy, both together, anyways i think he sees somthing beautiful in two people that can enjoy EACH OTHER and still love him all that much"
lol...what?...what???
Assuming that this is for real and not a joke. Well then this is sick.
Lets see you you can't experience pleasure, (an orgasm?) without imaging that it is Jesus sliding his hard, holy and throbbing cock in and out your gaping, gushing and shaking cunt and shooting his holy abundant seed deep into your loose spongy orifice!!??
You are twisted Lady.
Aw, I mis-read that last part as "my husband being with Jesus" and thought "so this is what happens when a fundy should have just be a yaoi fangirl"
Then I read it properly and literally lol'd. Seriously, someone should just give her a picture of what Jesus really would have looked like (the middle eastern Jew that Love would sooner think is a terrorist than her God) I bet that fetish would be over in a flash.
You raise your little girl to love Jesus,,,this would be a logical conclusion. I guarantee she's not the only one working on this fantasy
Every time we have had sex, I can never experience pleasure without imagining Jesus being there, and more specifically and embarrassing, my husband being Jesus.
What about your husband? Does he also fantasize about porking Jesus when he's doing you? Or is it 'Marry' that gets his ball rolling?
Wow. A Jesus fetishist.
...
Well, assuming this isn't a Poe, I guess it's just further proof that no matter what kink you can imagine, SOMEBODY has it.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Sexually self-pwned.
"I'm a newlywed young wife in a Christian relationship. Me and my Husband both waited till marriage because we agreed it was the Lord's doing. The problem started happening when we first became intimate. I always felt Jesus was such a huge part of our relationship, that he should be part of our intimate life as well."
image image
And just as Mr. Kipling makes exceedingly good cakes, you can't beat Edgar Allen's...
image
"Every time we have had sex, I can never experience pleasure without imagining Jesus being there, and more specifically and embarrassing, my husband being Jesus."
You dirty bugger.
If this is a troll, it's one of the best ever. If it's real, oh boy, some therapist is going to up to his/her ears in cash.
Well, at least she is embarassed to admit she has a Jesus fetish. That's a step in the right direction.
Oh, and Lucilius wins an internet.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
To post a comment, you'll need to Sign in or Register . Making an account also allows you to claim credit for submitting quotes, and to vote on quotes and comments. You don't even need to give us your email address.
