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#1033270
Doctor Whom
Have any of the minsters here had a deliverance where they hallucinate?
Fixed, and I think we all know what the answer is.
10/8/2009 3:35:12 PM
#1033298
Styphon
Can you hook me up with your acid dealer?
He's got the good shit.
10/8/2009 3:46:07 PM
#1033299
Orestes
I don't think there is enough PCP in the world for me to experience the delusions you people have.
10/8/2009 3:47:00 PM
#1033309
Dr. Shrinker
"The Lord stuck His sword down the throat of the demon and dispatched it to the pit."
Interesting imagery you came up with there. Anyone want to bet that RichVA has a "wide stance?"
10/8/2009 3:50:47 PM
#1033319
JohnTheAtheist
I can't wait to see the video of that! That must have been awesome! You did have your cell phone with you...right?
10/8/2009 3:57:53 PM
#1033426
A Pedant
Have any of the minsters here had a deliverance where Jesus Christ appears with a sword to judge a particularly stubborn demon?
I bet if they havn't they soon will. These are not the usual fundies they are more dangerous than that.
Whilst some of that board's members may be deluded fudies I fear that most are as athiest as the average FSTDT reader, and prey on credulous fundies in a variation of the psychic scams demonstrated by Derren Brown. How much easier there lives are made by fundies believing in demons, tongues, prophecy etc.
10/8/2009 4:39:17 PM
#1033437
Zeus Almighty
"The Lord stuck His sword down the throat of the demon and dispatched it to the pit."
You sure that was his sword?
10/8/2009 4:43:01 PM
#1033442
atrasicarius
You might want to lay off the acid in the sacramental wine. Just saying.
10/8/2009 4:44:10 PM
#1033481
Shadow Boxer
Wow! D&D's got nothing on Xtianity!
10/8/2009 4:58:10 PM
#1033496
El Zorro
...And then you ate some Cheetos.
10/8/2009 5:02:43 PM
#1033619
Headache
Have any of the minsters here had a deliverance where Jesus Christ appears with a sword to judge a particularly stubborn demon?
HAhahahahahahahahaha hehehehehehe hohohohoh
Normally, I send stubborn, lying spirits to the Throne Room of God to the feet of Jesus to come back as humbled, contrite spirits. Usually, when several of them see this they are more likely to tell the truth.
Hihihihihih hahahahaha Oh stop it! You are killing me...
Yesterday one demon (either Anger or Hatred) just refused to go even with warring angels to escort them. I prayed that Jesus Christ intervene the way he wanted to since it was beyond my experience. He appeared from afar as a figure of white. Then the demon said the figure was Christ with a sword (I thought, boy, this is going to be interesting). The Lord stuck His sword down the throat of the demon and dispatched it to the pit.
Ahahaaaaahhh Ok.... Can I have your dealers phone number?
10/8/2009 6:20:12 PM
#1033738
Old Viking
I'm not up to date on Christ with a sword, but quite familiar with Christ on a pogo stick. (Incidentally, Christ is a title, not a name.)
10/8/2009 7:52:27 PM
#1033746
One Trick Pony
BADASS.
10/8/2009 7:57:41 PM
#1033783
the dog
You must remember to take the medications
It must be time for you to start taking the RED pills again
10/8/2009 8:20:08 PM
#1033816
Dude...give me the name of your dealer. He has some great sh*t!
10/8/2009 8:44:09 PM
#1033921
SurfinSeaOtter
I am buying my E from these people from now on
10/8/2009 10:05:10 PM
#1033974
FMG
Can't your god turn up with a gun like a normal human being? Shit Satan pick up a gun... Swords are for idiots.
10/8/2009 11:51:15 PM
#1034015
Grigori Yefimovich
And then my Sinclair Spectrum crashed...
10/9/2009 12:30:03 AM
#1034112
Pule Thamex
During my brief sojourn in Prague where we fought off the attentions of the church-glorifying-dead, we once encountered a priest who was infested by many nefarious demons.
Struggling manfully against his devilishly enhanced physical strength, we eventually managed to restrain him on the floor. A mellifluous voice chimed enticingly from his previously foul and ranting mouth, "O ye poor lost souls, ye know not what ye do. release me now and ye shall be looked upon with favour by He who will raise ye all to heaven."
We steeled ourselves for the coming struggle, for the demons Temptation and Cozen were manifesting. "Out ye foul spirits, fly back to your master and leave this poor riddled priest" we chanted and placed a copy of Darwins's Origin Of Species down his trousers.
To cut a very long story short, we subsequently encountered and defeated the following demons, Liar, Deceiver, Conman, Mammon, Pedophilia, Ignorance, Nonsense, Hate, Racism, Falsehood, Homophobia, Gullibility, Rage, Craziness, Wanker, Misogyny, Paranoia, Hallucination, Abuse, Slavery, Drooler, Delusion, Nastiness, Arrogance, Deception and Persecutor.
It took a very long time and entailed a great deal of the placing of books up the jumper, under the head, and down the the trousers. But we got there in the end, and free of all his demons the priest miraculously reverted to a normal human being.
10/9/2009 2:11:49 AM
#1034143
Xotan
Normally, I send...
=== I thought that it was the power of Christ that did the trick. So isn't this a little arrogant? Perhaps a hint that the devil, with all his pride, is really in the exorcisor.
10/9/2009 2:37:47 AM
#1034165
EvoPagan
The Lord stuck His sword down the throat of the demon and dispatched it to the pit.
There's always something vaguely homoerotic going on over at Ministering Deliverance. I think they might have a demon of Teh Ghey.
10/9/2009 3:10:56 AM
#1034168
aaa
This sounds like a bad fanfic.
10/9/2009 3:16:10 AM
#1034185
Semi-Christian
Woah....someone's practicing to write a fanfic for the bible.
Augh, beaten by "aaa"
10/9/2009 3:44:10 AM
#1034261
Mister Spak
In my experience, thorazine makes demons pass out, and then you can just stick them in holy water until the fizzing stops.
10/9/2009 4:57:19 AM
#1034288
Philbert McAdamia
@ Pule Thamex
Well spoken, sir!
10/9/2009 5:34:01 AM
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