Home Archives Random Quotes Latest Comments Top 100 Submit Quote Search Log In Forums

Quote# 66307

Have any of the minsters here had a deliverance where Jesus Christ appears with a sword to judge a particularly stubborn demon?

Normally, I send stubborn, lying spirits to the Throne Room of God to the feet of Jesus to come back as humbled, contrite spirits. Usually, when several of them see this they are more likely to tell the truth.

Yesterday one demon (either Anger or Hatred) just refused to go even with warring angels to escort them. I prayed that Jesus Christ intervene the way he wanted to since it was beyond my experience. He appeared from afar as a figure of white. Then the demon said the figure was Christ with a sword (I thought, boy, this is going to be interesting). The Lord stuck His sword down the throat of the demon and dispatched it to the pit.

RichVA, Ministering Deliverance 48 Comments [10/8/2009 3:06:29 PM]
Fundie Index: 56
WTF?! || meh
Username:
Comment:



1 2
#1034370
Stimbo

You got stuck at the Anger/Hatred demon? That one's easy! Just dodge his fireball attacks while you hold down the left trigger and keep tapping X until you fill the 'Power of Christ' bar. Now you can pick the demon up, spin him around with the right thumbstick to make him giddy, and throw him to the ground. Whack him with your sword a few times while he's stunned. When he gets up he'll try to jump onto your head, so be ready for that. Then just repeat the procedure a couple more times, and you're done!

That's it; simple, quick, and no need to bother with cheat codes.

Wait until you get to the final boss - now that's hard...

(@ Pule Thamex: The final sentence of yours is just too unbelievable!)

10/9/2009 7:39:38 AM

#1034464
Clown

Holly Alfred on crack, Batman!

10/9/2009 9:15:00 AM

#1034516
Shadoboy


10/9/2009 10:37:24 AM

#1034520
Slayer

The reply from the moderator is almost as scary as the OP. Reinforcements of angels? You would think they were playing a videogame or something.

10/9/2009 10:42:35 AM

#1034618
Doubting Thomas

Ever get the idea that the people on Ministering Deliverance watched the movie "The Exorcist" one day, thought it was cool, and said to themselves "I can do that." Then they just kind of opened up their imaginations and ran with it.

10/9/2009 1:22:12 PM

#1034664
Dr. Novakaine

Is this like an entire site of schizophrenics or something?

10/9/2009 1:59:47 PM

#1034812
CrazyRoper

Will you jackasses stop writing this shitty fiction?

10/9/2009 6:28:23 PM

#1034816
Antichrist

That place is like a support group for scam artists.

@ Shadoboy
Wouldn't that give us a bunch of naked crazy men armed to the teeth? Thanks for the warning.

10/9/2009 6:38:01 PM

#1035061


What was this guy smoking that particular day, I wonder?

10/10/2009 10:14:29 AM

#1035102
Caustic Gnostic

Remember: Save your game, early and often.

10/10/2009 11:09:32 AM

#1035108
John_in_Oz

What is it with Christ and swords? His Daddy won't let him use a gun?
Seriously, why a sword? I thought just scolding demons was supposed to be good enough for him to work his mojo. You saying his sword is more powerful than he is?

10/10/2009 11:24:37 AM

#1035111
ozznova

Hey, you know that incense you're burning to drive away the demon?

If you bought it from a guy who called it "ganja," it's not actually incense...

10/10/2009 11:36:57 AM

#1035313
NonProphet

Fundie LARPing, I assume?

10/11/2009 1:47:40 AM

#1035381
Lowkey

The demon just failed to roll a saving throw, that's all.

10/11/2009 11:01:00 AM

#1035396
itsoundsawesomethough

...this was on TV the other night, wasn't it?

10/11/2009 12:11:05 PM

#1035528
Sasha

Aren't you a little too crazy to be playing RPGs?

10/11/2009 11:12:02 PM

#1035534
agentCDE

Drugs are bad. Don't do drugs, because it's bad to do drugs, so you'd be a bad person if you did drugs, and that would be bad.

10/12/2009 12:27:06 AM

#1035541


Jesus, does not sadly have a WoD character sheet...

Can anyone make one?

10/12/2009 12:55:24 AM

#1035552
Neon Elf

Man, he plays in much better LARPs than I ever have!

10/12/2009 3:15:26 AM

#1036005
Kong

Oh man, how often HASN'T that happened to any one of us? But normally, I send stubborn, lying spirits to the Coat Room of God to steal all the angels' money and bring it back to me. Then we're cool.

10/13/2009 5:45:11 PM

#1036007
Quantum Mechanic

Smoke meth much?

10/13/2009 5:46:22 PM

#1036009
Jimbob

Meanwhile, back on Earth.

10/13/2009 5:53:29 PM

#1036598
Ericm6

LSD much?

10/14/2009 4:42:05 PM
1 2