Quote# 66794

No one really knows how the ancient Mayans got such accurate information that they could construct such a calendar without the modern observational equipment we have today. But we Christians mostly believe it had to be some kind of satanic or demonic influence.

yogi3939, Rapture Ready! 54 Comments [10/27/2009 12:20:50 PM]
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Then how do you know that satan isn't lying or something?

10/27/2009 12:25:13 PM

Big Jilm

Well, that's because you're fucking retarded.

10/27/2009 12:28:06 PM


"Christians mostly believe it had to be some kind of satanic or demonic influence."

i am not a christian or a religious person of any kind, but i can safely call bullshit on this little nugget of fail and say that most christians do not believe this.

10/27/2009 12:32:18 PM


Satan had nothing to do with it, asshat. The Mayan astronomers were just much, Much, MUCH smarter than stupid fundies.

10/27/2009 12:34:02 PM

Caustic Gnostic

Yes, the skills and disciplines of observation were given to the world by Satan. Your point?

10/27/2009 12:34:25 PM


Indeed. They used the Satanic powers of mathematics and a demonic ability to reason from evidence – truly, those are the antitheses of Christianity.

10/27/2009 12:36:19 PM

Table Rock

without the modern observational equipment we have today

Yeah, making a calendar is totally impossible. Well, unless you can measure the movement of the sun and the moon but that requires advanced technology, like a stick.

10/27/2009 12:42:30 PM

So, better have Satan in a lab team, isn't it?

10/27/2009 12:42:43 PM

Zeus Almighty

So, Satan gives us accurate information ... god wants us to be pig-ignorant, superstitious, groveling fudietards and even then will likely send us to hell to burn FOREVER because some people thousands of years ago ate an apple.

Hmmm, now which one of these two is evil, again?

10/27/2009 12:44:38 PM


"How did they..."

"Demons! Black Magic!"

"But surely they..."

"No! MAGIC!"

10/27/2009 12:51:54 PM

Doctor Whom

They couldn't have come up with it by themselves because they weren't like us (if you know what I mean) (and I think you do) (wink, wink, nudge, nudge).

10/27/2009 12:51:57 PM

Oh sweet mutha, that's the best thing I've read all day. I can't stop laughing.

10/27/2009 12:56:45 PM


Translation: We can't acknowledge that brown people did something we didn't think to do so it must be evil!

10/27/2009 12:57:18 PM

Dr. Gus

No, actually the Mayans were excellent astronomers, their knowledge of the universe far surpassed that of the contemporary European nations. Seeing as there was no christianity to hinder them they became quite advanced in some aspects.
But yeah, we all know that to you satan= knowledge.

10/27/2009 1:03:52 PM


If we righteous here on RR don't understand something it must be from Satan. Behold! We never need to use our brains because God would have told us in the Bible if we should. We are proud of our contributions to the dumbing down of our fellow humans.

10/27/2009 1:05:09 PM


Hell, even the Babylonians could estimate the length of a year within seconds. Our calendar was basically inherited from the Romans. The Roman version was off by about a day every century and a quarter. Scientists knew about the error but it was largely Christianity that kept it from being corrected. Pope Gregory was finally convinced to order the fix, but even then, the Protestants objected as an attempt by the Catholics to trick them into worshiping on the wrong days, so although the Catholic countries applied the correction in the 1500's, Protestant countries took up to another two centuries. England (and America) didn't make the change until 1752.

10/27/2009 1:10:21 PM


That's what you would believe because you are a stupid, fucking retard.

10/27/2009 1:12:37 PM


Please, cut poor old Satan some slack. You people are always complaining about the guy, but he's just doing his job. If you don't like it you should go talk to his employer, God.

10/27/2009 1:12:52 PM

Night Jaguar

Math is hard, therefore it must be from the devil.

The sad thing is that despite living in primitive times those Mayan astronomers are way ahead of you.

10/27/2009 1:22:17 PM


The Mayans were quite advanced for their time. Not only were they awesome astronomers, they had a working sewage system. But of course to Rapture Retards view knowledge as a tool of SATAN!!!

See yogi3939 if you weren't a Rapture Retard you would know it doesn't take modern observational equipment to construct a calender.

10/27/2009 1:28:31 PM


You are wrong on both accounts. Good luck with that.

10/27/2009 1:32:50 PM


Are you now going to claim that the julian calendar is demonic?

10/27/2009 1:36:17 PM


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hugz an kisiz, Droolella

10/27/2009 1:43:09 PM


"No one really knows how the ancient Mayans got such accurate information that they could construct such a calendar without the modern observational equipment we have today. So I feel totally justified in pulling the most absurd, anti-Occam explanation for it right out of my ass."


PS: Similar to the way that the Mesopotamians, Babylonians, and Egyptians did it, most likely. Here's a clue: it helps to live in or near the Tropics.

10/27/2009 1:44:47 PM


So you say that their prophesy came from Lucifer...

And you STILL take it as proof of the world ending...

Your logic is FAIL.

10/27/2009 1:46:13 PM

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