These sites are satan's greatest successes over any cult he established. Young people discuss Christianity with others, go home and Google for answers, finding nothing but atheist answers. I've never seen such an onslaught
we are obviously in the last battle before the rapture.
54 comments
MUHUHAHAHA! That's what we want you to think. Actually, it's all a plot by Lex Luthor, the Green Goblin, and the Penguin to clog up the Interwebs with outraged comments like yours. By the time you believe me, it'll be too late! MUHUHAHAHA! Oh wait, I already said that.
If you're going to live in a cartoon universe, get your antagonists straight! We're sick of that lumpy red guy getting all the credit. Besides, everyone knows that Satan's greatest success was Hot Pockets.
@ Turtle
Yeah, well, their God, the alleged creator of the universe, wound up and pitched a bunch of frogs at the Egyptians, so I guess that's a wash.
How 'Ya Gonna Keep 'Em Down on the Farm After They've Seen Paree?
Young, Lewis and Donaldson, 1918.
"I've never seen such an onslaught
we are obviously in the last battle before the rapture."
Woo. You've seen several atheist websites and that is an obvious indicator that these are the end times. Get a life... and a brain.
These sites are satan's greatest successes over any cult he established.
Gosh, as the owner of an atheist site, I now feel special. Thank you.
By the way, if the young people really find nothing but atheist answers, they don't know how to do a search.
"Young people discuss Christianity with others, go home and Google for answers, finding nothing but atheist answers."
Kent Hovind. Answers in Genesis. Way of the Master. Institute for Creation Research. Many hundreds of thousands of Christian sites from individuals all the way up to megachurches.
And you're telling me that kids who grew up using the internet are incapable of finding such sites using Google? Perhaps it's not the search that is inferior but the answers they find.
"we are obviously in the last battle before the rapture."
Yes. Obviously. Of course. Any day now.
You go pray, I'll keep watch for a short, swarthy, dark haired Jew flying through the air. I'd let you keep watch but you'd probably miss him since you'd be looking for a tall Caucasian with golden blond locks instead.
If they -want- Christian answers they'll find them in droves. I know I certainly find them, and I'm not even looking for them.
Of course, maybe it's good these hypothetical young people are finding atheist answers, because I've found Christian answers trying to claim something based on data that was out of date LONG before the articles were written.
Black president?
We are obviously in the last battle before the rapture.
The Japanese bomb Pearl Harbor?
We are obviously in the last battle before the rapture.
The South loses the Civil War?
We are obviously in the last battle before the rapture.
Witches running rampant in Salem?
We are obviously in the last battle before the rapture.
A Satanic plague sweeping through Europe?
We are obviously in the last battle before the rapture.
Nero becomes Emperor?
We are obviously in the last battle before the rapture.
Um, Buzzardnuts, see where I'm going here, sparky?
It's not that atheist answers are the only ones they find, It's because atheist answers make sense.
I'm assuming that you didn't baptize your children long enough to cause the required brain damage.
Meh, if you only want to see things on the interent that agree with the opinions you all ready have, just lock your browser down so it can only go to conservapedia.com. Problem solved, no dissenting infomation to crack your aparantly very fragile faith.
"Young people discuss Christianity with others"
How likely is this to actually happen in real life situation when the other side taking part in this discussion isn't fundie jr?
Oh, wait. We did talk about it when I was young and we did agree that it was stupid idea to begin with.
"...go home and Google for answers, finding nothing but atheist answers."
That's why we are taught this thing called "critical thinking" at young age...
oh wait, sorry, I forgot! You're not encouraging it because it doesn't serve your cause in a long run!
And heaven forbit that they (young, innocent and pure minded people who are not aware of the evils that world has to offer) would find your site during random googling!
They would be scarred for life!
Obviously, execpt for the total lack of any evidence.
Buzzardhut: Dumbest motherfucker on the internets.
Did you know that it is satanic to laugh at fundamental cultists? We know that criticism of fundamental cultism has its roots in a non-existent fantasy figure with horns and goat legs. We also know that a belief in non-existent fantasy figures in general, erodes ones sense of humour. Fact.
Did you know that the concept of Satan frightens fundamental cultists and makes them indulge in crazy talk? True. That's not to say that they are primitive and superstitious barbarians, or, in some cases, insane, necessarily.
"we are obviously in the last battle before the rapture."
I can never tell whether they're happy about this or not.
"OMFG, we're all gonna die! Goody goody gumdrop! H'ray JeeeZUSS!
"I've never seen such an onslaught
we are obviously in the last battle before the rapture."
The last battle will be fought on the Internet.
The grand armies of Anonymous 4channers will face off against the assembled forces of religious douches as both sides unchain their trolls upon the enemy and and unleash flame-war-throwers and great catapults of copypasta, while the hackers marshal their botnets to crush heavy resistance and the mighty admins of both sides carve through swathes of n00bs with their mighty Banhammers! LoLcats themselves shall rain from the skies landing on the newfags and screeching zealots used as cannon fodder while the poes infiltrate the ranks of their enemies. And it shall end with the cataclysmic showdown between God, Cthulu, FSM and Chuck Norris and their respective champions Jesus, PZ Myers, Jack Sparrow and Leeroy Jenkins.
And when the dust settles one final man shall remain standing: The internet superhero. And he shall say
"lol"
Before collapsing...
"we are obviously in the last battle before the rapture. "
Last battle? Okay Buzzardhut, it's obvious that you don't know the meaning of battle or wouldn't know what one would look like. May God help you indeed if you ever face one, because you'll seriously need it.
Also, Google is simply a search engine. Not every search result or search box suggestions on there is going to list Jesus Christ related things first.
In fact, trolls like to collectively look up absurd things on purpose as to affect the popular search box suggestions on display.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
To post a comment, you'll need to Sign in or Register . Making an account also allows you to claim credit for submitting quotes, and to vote on quotes and comments. You don't even need to give us your email address.