"A conservative Bible is one that is 100% free of liberal bias. Not 50% liberal bias, not 10% liberal bias. 0% liberal bias."
I don't know how far you've gotten in your 'Conservative Bible Project', rewriting such to eliminate said 'liberal' bias from it (thus taking away from it, and therefore, the real meaning of Scripture), but once you get to the very last verse of the New Testament:
Revelation 22:19 (KJV; emphasis added): 'And if any man shall take away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part out of the book of life, and out of the holy city, and [from] the things which are written in this book.
You're fucked, Andy Schaftafly. Scripturally, as well as literally; both spiritually - as in you're going to Hell - and in terms of how the vast majority of Bible scholars throughout mainstream Christianity in the US, and professors of theology will see what you've done to said book, and in reaction to what you've done - especially to the KJV, the basis of right-wing Fundamentalist Christian beliefs - will tear you a new one.
Both critically, and physically.
There are, as hard as it is to imagine, yes, I know, fundies out there far more hardcore - certainly nuttier than squirrel shit - out there in the US. Who not only believe in what the Bible, certainly the KJV, says literally, but also worship the 2nd Amendment almost as much.
Two Words: Salman Rushdie.
You do the maths, Andy Schaftafly. And get a dog. [/4chan]
