Aliens are NOT demons? Puhleeze... now that is crazy talk
How do they explain reports of when people use the name Jesus the Aliens run?
98 comments
"How do they explain reports of when people use the name Jesus the Aliens run?"
Reports?
Lay down the acid, dude. You are making stuff up.
so, when you're about to be kidnapped by an imaginary enemy, you invoke the name of an imaginary friend because these enemies aren't the enemies you think they are, but are actually the imaginary enemies of the imaginary friend?
I'm fucking gone. Every time I think that FSTDT is probably a well running dry, and there can't be any more crazy left in the world - Rapture Ready come up and top it again.
How do they explain reports of when people use the name Jesus the Aliens run?
Lying for the lord? Making shit up? Bullshit? I could go on.
Edit:
After reading the posts, yeah it could be that the aliens have been preached to before. I know these idiots invoking the name of Jesus usually get me to want to run screaming from the room.
**Puzzles at the syntax**
Oh! I get it!
Silly me, I thought the name he was talking about was 'Jesus the Aliens'. Like 'Mac the Knife' maybe. I did think it was a cool name, mind.
"Aliens are NOT demons? Puhleeze... now that is crazy talk "
I know, right? Who didn't play Doom? Aliens are TOTALLY demons, like ch'a.
One moment whilst I kill myself for that impression.
"How do they explain reports of when people use the name Jesus the Aliens run? "
I'll explain it via Ockham's Razor, how about there ARE no such reports? That's not only a good explanation, it's also true.
Okay, what the hell is this person thinking? I can't make sense of this.
As far as we know there has been no proven extraterrestrial life, so aliens are probably just as much a myth as your god, because neither has been proven. Then again, you raptards love to cling to fantasy while rejecting reality.
By an amazing coincidence, in the Toklophane language, the words "Jesus Christ" mean "Please probe my anus."
A polite species, many will honour your request. others of them just run from the sheer inappropriate intimacy.
I hope that's got you sorted out.
Why would life elsewhere be magical and supernatural? It's life, perhaps carbon-based, perhaps not. Maybe similar to our biosphere, maybe totally different. Still just life.
Also, I have never heard that they would run when they hear the name Jesus. Maybe they've heard of Christianity and therefore it would be an understandable reaction.
Guide to Keeping your Imaginary Creatures Straight:
Aliens are NOT demons.
The Mummy is NOT Dracula.
The Tooth Fairy is NOT Santa Claus.
A unicorn is NOT a dragon.
George Jetson is NOT Fred Flintstone.
Miss Piggy is NOT a Teletubbie.
WMDKitty (#1057347): Sleep paralysis and hypno-sumthin' hallucinations.
-pompic, when you experience it while falling asleep,
-gogic, when you experience it while waking up.
All this talk of aliens being demons is giving me bad-fiction flashbacks to Being , a religious tract disguised as SF, by Michael Redfinn. Sometimes, I can still remember swaths of pointless exposition. Worst of all... I've still got it. sob!
Well, actually MROD is partially correct. Invoking the Name of Jesus spell will do 20+ HP damage to Alien Drones and Alien Hybrids. This may cause them to retract their attack posture, ie "retreat" during gameplay. They are not destroyed however, unlike what would happen when invoking the NoJ spell on a common demon.
Also it should be noted that Alien Overlords and the Alien Boss Nggzanyth will not be affected at all by the NoJ spell.
"How do they explain reports of when people use the name Jesus the Aliens run?"
In that case (check one):
[ ] You used to work at Groom Lake, a.k.a. 'Area 51', and have released into the public domain above Top Secret info that will result in your eventual elimination. Look out for those black helicopters! And buy a dog.
[ ] You're pulling shit out of your arse. Which is par for the course for Ruptured Retards. And you're breaking the 9th Commandment: Thou shalt not bear false witness.
Choose wisely. Either way, you're fucked.
Hell buddy -I can explain them with one word...
Bullshit.
I know because I tried something similar to that fighting Vampires. I held the cross up to him and he just laughed. Turns out it was a Taoist Vampire so I was kinda screwed.
The sad thing in this scenario for those that believe Aliens have interacted with us is this:
Alien contact can't be established as a worldwide event because fucking religions would hemmorage on the spot and demand death to the demons. The Fundie world would go even crazier, malitia up, hide in the hills and shoot anyone who came close.
Because as soon as an alien hears the name jesus used as a weapon, it knows without a doubt that it is in the presence of intergalactic stupidity, and it's fearful that it might be contagious.
Not to mention, most aliens are aware of the unnatural propensity of fundies to kill anything 'different'.
"How do they explain reports of when people use the name Jesus the Aliens run?"
Well, when I see a few undoctored clips of it...
Also, PUNCTUATION! USE IT!
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
To post a comment, you'll need to Sign in or Register . Making an account also allows you to claim credit for submitting quotes, and to vote on quotes and comments. You don't even need to give us your email address.