I believe that they will say that the aliens took Christians because we were hurting the global harmony and unity of the world- so we needed to be reprogrammed or destroyed. People will buy it and told to unite with the AC.
84 comments
You almost hit the trifecta. You only forgot to include the blacks, Jews, or some other assortment of darkies.
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Sorry, dude, try harder next time.
But, the only nutters twisted and stupid enough to buy that, will, by your tale, be gone by then.
I believe that they will say "thank God, He got rid of those holier-than-thou, Bible-thumping, God-bothering fundamentalist assholes - I thought they'd never leave!"
Again, what's going to happen to you when the Rapture DOESN'T occur?
Besides continuing to bleat "Any minute now!" like you are today.
No. The Rapture is BULLSHIT. It's NOT in the BIBLE. It was MADE UP by some asshole in Scotland who read tarot cards and was na occultist. Her name was margaret McDonald, she then influenced John Nelson Darby who preached her heretical BULLSHIT as FACT. Look it up, people! This is a HERESY. Get your head out of your butt and stop listening to your heretical pastor if he's teaching this crap iny our church!!
Yes. Absolutely. They take Christians to feed the zombies back home. Christians like you are preferred because soft, unused brains taste better.
Just stick to your own mythology. It's no less confusing, but at least it's inconsistent.
... they will say ...
And these people, these unraptured "they" matter to you in what way?
His4Life -- True, it's all bullsh*t, but MacDonald's utterance is post-tribulation not pre-trib. as is Darby's assertion, and she uttered it in 1830, 3 years after Darby set down his nonsense.
Another thing..why do you think we would want to spend eternity with people like you? Why do you think we ARE NOT Rapture Ready members?
DUUUUHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! God damn why cant you use a bit of your brains for a change?
If we see you rapture ready types disapear, then yeah, sure we might speculate..but why does that mean we would want to be with you crazy fucks?
Me, personally, I dont give two shits wether your Jesus Christ is real or not..he is unworthy of worship, and I would actually think better of him if he made his hard core fan club (you fucking freaks) disappear for the face of the planet so we normal folk can live in peace.
..now if only the extreme Muslims got raptured with you, then maybe I would consider Jesus "somewhat" worthy of a thanks or praise.
"...so we needed to be reprogrammed or destroyed."
No, you need medical treatment for your brain damage and/or mental illness, plus a decent education.
"I believe that they will say that the aliens took Christians because we were hurting the global harmony and unity of the world- so we needed to be reprogrammed or destroyed."
Yeah. That sounds entirely plausible. At least as much as everyone being whooshed away into the sky by a dead Jew.
"People will buy it and told to unite with the AC."
Which one? Your Bible mentions a number of them, or didn't you know that?
Let's just stop this shit once and for all.
I am the fucking antichrist, ok? You've foiled me. I will never be able to fool such a large population of Christians, mainly because there are no brains left to wash. AAARRRRGGGHHH!!! I'm melting! I'm seeping through the cracks in the earth that will send my liquidy evilness back to hell! You've done me in! Now SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT IT!
Maybe you would believe such nonsense if told about it (well, unless you didn´t already believe in other nonsense, like the rapture). The rest of the world however isn´t as gullible as yourself (well, some people maybe, but not the majority)
So we're killing the Christians and turning them into Air Conditioners?
I guess that's one way to combat global warming.
@ #1058586
Around here you are not the fucking Antichrist! I've been on this board for a few years now. There's Mrs. Antichrist (whom I don't know personally) you may be AN Antichrist, (there's many) but don't be using my name in vain!
Let's pretend for a moment, that an advanced civilization would in fact both find earth and decide to secretly take some specimens.
a) how would they only take Christians?
Wouldn't it just be easier to have semi-supernatural powers or a mere demi-god than to concoct a hair-brained alien abduction on a massive scale?
What they don't get is that if suddenly all of the christians disappeared from the earth (and planes went down etc.), most of us would probably believe in this rapture. I'd be like, "huh, all of the christians suddenly disappeared, that may actually be evidence of their sky daddy."
I'd also believe in the Lord of the Rings if the Eye of Sauron suddenly appeared in the sky. Of course, I would probably be going crazy if these things happened, but you've gotta go with the evidence.
They know that there is a giant hole in their fairy tale and that is that if they all suddenly disappeared, we would all become believers. Of course, this would never happen, but it is still a giant hole.
"I believe that they will say that the aliens took Christians because we were hurting the global harmony"
No we're going to say the aliens came and took you back to your homeworld. Because whatever the hell planet you think you're living on, it sure ain't this one.
Where did the resurgence in alien obsession come from? I swear, they've been coming on almost as strong as the zombies lately. Though I'll admit it's not all bad, District 9 is in fact my new favorite movie.
But seriously, has anything intelligent come out of a non-poe, non-troll poster at RR?
You are hurting global harmony and unity. Since the rapture is supposed to happen at the twinkling of an eye we wouldn't have time to give you a going away party.
This comment makes me think of an old Twilight Zone program. Aliens come to earth proclaiming they'll help mankind. They bring a book that looks like the bible(I think it was called 'Serving Man') but is written in their language. People from everywhere keep getting on the spaceships that takes them to the alien planet. One scientist is able to decipher/translate the book and yells at his girlfriend when she boards the spaceship It's a cookbook!
@ #1058882
As I said you may be AN ANTICHRIST, but THE ANTICHRIST, nope
Sorry about that
He forgot to add that then, "the people who were telling the world this will realize that humanity deserves to die, because if they buy that, they probably NEED the Antichrist to curb the gene pool".
Please aliens come soon!
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Yeah I'd buy it, but only so long as it involved reprogramming and not any destruction. As for uniting with the AC, it would depend on what an AC is. If it is another of those fantasy made-up things that you guys are so fond of, as I suspect it is, then count me out.
I believe that they will say that the aliens took Christians because we were hurting the global harmony and unity of the world
But you and your kind are the only people who are either that stupid, or that gullible to believe, buy into, accept, or even stand for such a thing.
For as long and as loudly as you people have been have been braying on and on ad nauseum about your rapture fanfic it's near inconcievible that all christians would suddenly disappear and no one wold say "Hmmm, maybe that rapture shit was true after all. " and instead just think some hitherto unheard of and unseen aliens up and "poofed" a statististically significant portion of the population out of existance. The very idea is, on it's face, stupid beyond measure.
so we needed to be reprogrammed or destroyed.
And humanity would just blindly accept such a thing? I find that highly doubtful, especially since those most likely to believe such blatant bullshit would already be gone.
People will buy it and told to unite with the AC.
The Left Behind series is fiction, not prophecy, a fact that seems to be lost on you.
@ Pule Thamex:
"Yeah I'd buy it, but only so long as it involved reprogramming and not any destruction. As for uniting with the AC, it would depend on what an AC is. If it is another of those fantasy made-up things that you guys are so fond of, as I suspect it is, then count me out."
I believe he is talking about the Atheist Conspiracy. You see, we have all of these allegedly competing pyramid hierarchies of "leaders" with a broad base of "followers". We sequester children and feed them our contradictory dogma until their head explodes and they blindly believe anything we tell them. Oh wait...
Ah, another piece of fuckwittery from Planet People Ready , as I am now going to call Rapture Ready...(approximately 99.99%) as a pile of (somewhat gooey) protoplasm on the ground, & you'll be all right...
That would be a far more likely explanation then gawd, if it actually happens, which it won't. I do believe that there are probably aliens out there somewhere.
As for the world uniting behind one person, it would never happen.
If you want the real skinny on the rapture's roots, read the writings of the only one who's researched it for 40 years - journalist/historian Dave MacPherson. His nonfiction book THE RAPTURE PLOT can be borrowed for a pittance via inter-library loan at any library. And his many non-copyrighted web items include "Famous Rapture Watchers," "Pretrib Rapture Diehards," "X-Raying Margaret," "The Unoriginal John Darby," "Edward Irving is Unnerving," "Pretrib Hypocrisy," "Thomas Ice (Bloopers)," "Deceiving and Being Deceived," "Pretrib Rapture - Hidden Facts," and "Pretrib Rapture Dishonesty." Yes, the rapture is crapture!
RR. Where eschaton met conspiracy theory.
That's hilarious. The Rapture is too unbelievable, but oh! Aliens, which we've never told you about, abducted them to be reprogrammed -- which, by the way, we can do, because they were hurting the global harmony.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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