Quote# 69258

I've been seeing snippets of info both on tv and in magazines about lockheed martin's development of stealth blimps. It's been thought that these same types of crafts are behind the surge in black triangle sightings in recent years.

We all know that black helicopters were clearly used in the past for surveillance and possibly other fiendish type activities.

Nowadays, black helicopters have become more of a punchline than a topic. But I've been wondering if these stealth airships are up to the same behavior as their whirlybird cousins? In case you aren't aware of what a stealth airship is, here's a link: Stealthy Airship

chemtrailsmakemesneeze, Above Top Secret 22 Comments [1/4/2010 9:28:22 AM]
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Are they powered by steam? Does it involve some old school mad science in any awesome way?

1/4/2010 9:41:34 AM

Pule Thamex

Chemtrails must be doing something more than make you sneeze, I think they are making you bark through the arse as well. In any case, Lockheed Martin's stealth blimps are actually for the end days when they will be used in dogfights against the chubby bombers of Rapture Ready's aerial attack force.

1/4/2010 10:54:29 AM

Percy Q. Shunn

Oh, no!

Not a slow-moving, bloviated airship!

1/4/2010 12:45:11 PM


What are the folks at ATS smoking?

1/4/2010 1:02:40 PM

Sure, nobody spots such black creatures in the sky. For God´s sake!!!

1/4/2010 1:49:10 PM

Vegetable Rights Activist

Wait, Black Helicopters?

Oh, God, they have become self-aware parodies of themselves!


1/4/2010 1:51:23 PM


Above Shock Treatment at its finest...

1/4/2010 3:46:41 PM


Large black triangles? Like this?

Yeah, they really haven't been a secret since about 1989. Maybe we should step out of the basement once in a while.

I really doubt the US military would be heading back to 19th century war technology.

1/4/2010 4:33:50 PM


I got a balloon at a circus once, but was probably a cia spyship. Just to be safe, I popped it.

1/4/2010 4:40:14 PM


"Quick. To the stealth blimp."
"We're cut off!"
"Gadzooks! Let's make haste to the canal, I have a stealth barge drawn by stealth horses."

1/4/2010 7:47:28 PM



It had better. I want to be an airship pirate!

1/5/2010 2:11:59 AM

Sandwich Board

Here's a link to the information the Government is keeping secret [link to Aviation Week].

Wait, what?

But it is true that airships are back in development as high-altitude long-duration reconnaissance platforms. They have certain advantages over satellites (such as being more manoeuvrable and not costing quite so much). Think of a really slow but really high AWACS that doesn't need to land as often.

But they are (a) not triangular, and (b) not black.

1/5/2010 3:16:33 AM

Romana Twelve

@aaa: If one of those airships isn't piloted by a white-haired gambler, then I for one will be terribly disappointed.

1/5/2010 5:48:52 AM

Doubting Thomas

Why would they paint them black and then float them high in the sky in the middle of the day? I'd think a light grey or blue bottom would work better at hiding their presence. But black just sounds so much more ominous in these conspiracy theories.

1/5/2010 11:37:08 AM

Dr. Novakaine

I can think of no flying vehicle that less exemplifies stealth than a blimp. First off, the size required to carry enough weight is too large to be rendered invisible by any technology we currently have. Second, blimps move fairly slowly, which makes escaping after being spotted more difficult than necessary. Finally, who in their right minds would make a TRIANGULAR blimp? It's inefficient and pointless.

1/5/2010 1:59:25 PM


1. Many helicopters look black against a bright sky, especially if they are dark green.
2. As a former 97B, I can attest that there were actually large balloons in the 1980s that might be described as "stealth airships." However, they carried surveillance equipment, not people, and they weren't triangular or black.

1/5/2010 2:49:53 PM


stealth BLIMPS! those huge immpossible to miss things! really

1/5/2010 8:24:41 PM

Sandwich Board


So it's 160ft wide, 500ft long and cruises at an altitude of 60,000ft.

Looking at it from the ground its angular diameter would therefore be ... hang on ... ah, 9 by 28 arcminutes (the Moon is 30 arcminutes wide). Huh: bigger than I was expecting.

Hmm... I wonder what the radar profile would be like?

1/6/2010 10:01:46 PM

Agnostic Jew

I saw a blurry black triangle in the sky today. Then I put my glasses on.

It was birds.

1/9/2010 10:39:23 PM

J. James

@Dr. Novakaine

Actually, blimps are better than planes in almost every conceivable way, especially if they're triangular(a flying wing) making them heavier than air. They can carry orders of magnitude more cargo, loiter longer, have a longer range, are cheaper, vastly more durable, practically immune to bullets and missiles(they just pass through without exploding) due to low gas pressure and compartmentalization, have the highest max altitude of any aircraft, are more energy efficient, on and on...

But there is one big drawback.

They are SLOW. Agonizingly, molasses-on-an-igloo SLOW. Ordinary blimps travel anywhere between 15-55 miles an hour max, depending on the model. Zeppelins max out at 60-100 miles an hour in a dead calm. High altitude airships travel about 15-30 miles per hour and are solar powered. Hybridizing them with planes makes it only slightly better, at 170 tops, and at the cost of much energy efficiency. This achingly slothful pace puts them in danger of storms at lower altitudes, not to mention enemy aircraft.

8/3/2011 3:53:54 PM

Mix Master Mikaeus

You know what pisses me off regarding conspiracy theorists? It's not that they're lying or hopelessly deluded.

It's that the shit they peddle as the gospel truth-- Atlantis, stealth blimps, Reptilian incursions, secret Fourth Reich bases under Antarctica-- is so awesome that to find out they're all false is disappointing. Goddammit, I wanna ride a stealth zeppelin and punch out Antarctic Nazis in a race against time to unlock the lost magics of Lemuria!

3/16/2013 3:31:06 AM

Jamaican Castle

Nobody ever realizes the best way to hide your airship: paint it blue and write "Goodyear" on the side.

7/21/2015 5:14:06 PM

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