In all seriousness, this is my sons favorite part of going to heaven. He's only 9, but says he can't wait to kick satan's butt for all the times he duped him into believing his lies. My son goes: Mom, I'm gonna get one of those cool sparkly shields of faith, and that Huuuuge sword of righteousness..you know ma, the one that will scare the 'bajiddlies' outta satan and then I'm gonna open up a can o'whoop on him. Then he prances out of the room. Gotta love it.
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He doesn't need a shield, just a giant sword. And a cool attack with explosions and everything.
FINISHING STRIKE! *thrusts sword forward* FINAL BLAST! *leaps up with sword making a plume of fire*
(that one's mine)
Let's see what weapons Satan has in his armoury, to counter this deluded fool, shall we...
Arngrim said:
"He doesn't need a shield, just a giant sword. And a cool attack with explosions and everything.
FINISHING STRIKE! *thrusts sword forward* FINAL BLAST! *leaps up with sword making a plume of fire* "
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Taken from this episode, 2:38
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SrlnvkcVcCw&feature=related
Sparkly shields of faith? WTF?
I would be seriously concerned if my nine-year-old talked about attacking others with swords.
Have your son met Satan? How did he dupe your son into believing his lies? What lies?
Bajiddlies? Can of "whoop"? Are you two? You and your son must have a lot of fun together.
Then he prances out of the room.
Oh dear. I think we'll be hearing more from this one in a few years.
If there is anything, anything , that most blatantly screams how deluded these folks are it's their vision of heaven.
* Heaven is a place where everyone lives in a big gold mansion covered in jewels.
* Heaven is a place where you get to sit all day every day with your personal hero, who'll tell you how great you are.
* Heaven is where you get to watch all the people who ever made you feel bad being brutally punished while you look on and gloat.
* Heaven is where you get to fight your villains with superpowers and magic weapons which they can't hope to beat so you are always victorious.
* Heaven is where all the things you always wanted to be true, from the world being 6000 years old to black people being inferior, will turn out to be true and everyone will congratulate you for being right all along.
It is the literally puerile imaginings of someone who can't come up with anything more sophisticated for their eternal blessed afterlife than wish-fulfilment and getting their own back.
You do know that (in psychology) a sword or knife used to kill is symbolic of a penis - right?
Ergo, your son really wants to fuck Satan. Add to that the "prances" and it sounds like you have more problems than you're willing to talk about on RR...
So, basically, your son envisions the afterlife as being a He-Man and the Masters of the Universe cartoon, with himself in the title role.
Beth, hon, let me tell you... if he "prances" out of the room, in a few years, he'll want to be "She-Ra", and will want to fight.... well, people like you.
"My son goes: Mom, I'm gonna get one of those cool sparkly shields of faith, and that Huuuuge sword of righteousness..you know ma, the one that will scare the 'bajiddlies' outta satan and then I'm gonna open up a can o'whoop on him. Then he prances out of the room. Gotta love it."
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Time to break out my Barrett M82A1 of Atheism, loaded with the .50 cal. Depleted Uranium rounds of Logic & Scientific Facts:
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Sputnik 1 in 1957 proved there was no 'Firmament', a solid 'dome' above the Earth. BOOM! Headshot! Post-"On the Origin of Species", there's too much evidence to suggest other than we humans were descended from a common ancestor. BOOM! Headshot!
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Gotta love it. >:D
"In all seriousness, this is my sons favorite part of going to heaven. He's only 9, but says he can't wait to kick satan's butt for all the times he duped him into believing his lies."
You should't let your son talk about you like that! You may have told things that aren't necessarily correct, but that doesn't make you a liar! Or satan. Just wrong.
Also: sounds like he just wants to play "knight". Ask him about dragon slaying and bet it will be the same routine.
Anon-e-moose
better still using the ebil SCIENCE I'll have transfered my concious mind into a cloud of nanobots
lets see how Bethshaya's son's sparkly sheild and huuuge sword stand up to a directed grey goo scenario bitch!
Ya wanna come up with any scripture that says any human ever kicked Satans butt, or even humbled him? God has never beaten him, even the expulsion from heaven, the fall was mutual, a choice to Satan.
You people really underestimate Satan. I know this bravado is about a kid who thinks he's gonna go all Conan on Satan but I've seen loads of adult posts with the same scenario inplanted
cute. misguided, but cute.
waitaminute. going to heaven... kick satan's butt... Beth, honey, your kid doesn't wanna go to heaven, but to Valhalla! ergo, your kid's a heretic, a fabulous heretic.
oh, and at age nine, i didn't want a sword and shield: i wanted my arm replaced with a bionic arm, a flamethrower, and an allosaurus mount. with miniguns on it. why, you ask? because it's what kids do: daydream fantasies... although a minigun-toting dino mount would be pretty awesome
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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