If evolution were real, why can't trees run away when somebody tries to chop one down? It's obvious that God meant for us to cut down all the trees for making boats and things.
66 comments
Just like on Easter Island!
EDIT: I take it back. As shown by bbq burrito, obvious poe. I'm embarrassed not to have noticed that the perfect spelling and grammar alone gave it away.
Obvious poe is a poe.
The guy is a biology student at Wisconsin, and among his other pages are: Zombie Jesus, The Onion, Fox News is Full of Shit, etc.
He's probably the subby.
edit: His page doesn't say he's a biology major. The rest is true.
Well besides a face-palm and an evolution does not work that way, Here is why trees dont run away.
1: Plants are probably the singularly most resiliant life forms on the planet capable of surviving and continuting to live even after suffering the most horrific abuse.
2: Plants absorb solar energy and use that to produce carbohydrates. These carbohydrates are used to feed the plants cells and in turn grant the plant energy. However, plants are still low energy organisms, unless they devoured the protiens and carbohydrates of external life forms (like animals do) they can only produce enough energy to move slowly and in small ways.
3: lastly even if you god exsisted, and made everything, in no way did he design trees to be cut down. Plants produce fruit which is meant to be eaten by animals, who then discard the seeds, which then grow. Before your mythical fall, humans had no need for technology, so no need for boats, and no need to cut down trees.
I'm convinced. With this talk of boats "and things", it is clear that you are quite the thinker. I had previously considered most statements starting with "if evolution were real" to be asinine, but this argument is compelling.
The self-evident fact that trees are incapable of running away from men with saws is incontrovertible evidence of the falsehood of evolutionary beliefs. It is manifestly obvious to all but the willfully ignorant that the manufacture of seafaring vessels and a variety of other products and devices is the entire purpose of trees. If one is willing to fully embrace a worldview in which such teleologies are apparent, then one should have no problem whatsoever in entertaining the conception of an all-powerful God who watches over us, and holds us all to account.
Those holding such a view would be able to rest easy, assured by the unassailability of their beliefs.
If angels are real, why don't they save children from being run over? It's obvious that God meant for us to run over children for sport and things.
(Sorry, I'm in a mood. In no way do I endorse the running down of children.)
Because they're TREES and they aren't counting on being cut down. Evolution DOES try to keep up with predation, but not the way you think it does. A tree won't grow legs. It may grow tougher bark, but we'd find a way around it within a year. Simply put: human tech evolves much faster than life.
"If evolution were real, why can't trees run away when somebody tries to chop one down? "
Because plants aren't animals, Sparky.
"It's obvious that God meant for us to cut down all the trees for making boats and things. "
It's obvious that he meant for us to kill the plants he obviously designed to produce oxygen for us to breathe? How very logical of you.
Actually, GodotIsWaiting4U, in some cases life evolves faster than human technology. The most obvious case is drug-resistant bacteria. Others would include pests sprayed with biocides; plants (roundup resistance), insects (Bt resistance) and so on.
I guess you've never seen The Wizard of Oz , because apple trees will throw apples at you if you piss them off.
But I really hope this is a poe.
If evolution were real, why can't trees run away when somebody tries to chop one down?
Plants have traded a fast metabolism for the ability to make food directly from sunlight. They can't run because the sun doesn't provide energy fast enough to support the metabolism needed for much mobility. Venus Fly Traps are about as mobile as a plant gets.
Sarcasm doesn't work well on Facebook. But since one of Michael's pages is 1 million strong for gay marriage, I'm down with this being sarcastic.
The funny thing is those after him in Facebook that didn't go "wait- what?", but agreed!
Because
1) they came before herbivores and tree-choppers
2) being able to draw nutrients from the ground and sunlight, and being so quick at growing and producing a ton of seeds are decent advantages to trade off with no mobility.
This is a perfect example to show that evolution works:
Would we start to chop down all trees in the world, we would die of oxygen deprivation long before all trees were extinct. Natural selection in its finest form. A species which developes genes that lead to behaviour that destroys its very own basis for life will face extinction. Inevitably.
It happens all the time when predators become too efficient. The only effect is the predator will then die out because he destroys his own ecological niche. Happened with the saber-toothed tiger, and will probably happen with homo sapiens again. Nature itself will survive it. To take care for the nature is not kitschy sentimentalism, it is deeply necessary for our very own self-preservation.
And sorry, but there is no "god" who will miraculously create a new earth and save mankind after we messed up. When we continue to do like we do now, I expect mankind to not exist in some thousand years anymore. It will take some ten thousand years for nature to grow over the mess we produced, and then life will continue as it ever did. And there will be no memories left that something like "humans" ever existed.
It's not obvious to the trees.
Why Snails? They get ate, obviously God hates Snails,,,and trees and cows and dolphins and,,,,.
because trees are plants. Plants don't have nervous systems.
Also because people have only been chopping down trees for about 10,000 years, and only invented rapid mass logging techniques one or two hundred years ago, that's not enough time for evolution to work on something as slow maturing as trees.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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