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#1112729
Dane
Wait...what?
2/9/2010 2:15:32 PM
#1112732
freako104
Wow. Just wow.
2/9/2010 2:16:16 PM
#1112733
aaa
Did somebody spike the water supply with LSD again?
2/9/2010 2:17:07 PM
#1112735
Godbuster
You're schizophrenic, oh no... wait... you're a christian, so it's okay.
2/9/2010 2:18:12 PM
#1112737
Yeesh, I hope this was all just in the guy's head. Otherwise I'd be worried about finding out about a series of fucked-up impalement deaths.
2/9/2010 2:19:30 PM
#1112738
Mat
Ah yes, the peaceful loving God is packing metal!
Isn't it kind of his fault for going near a demon in the first place...
2/9/2010 2:19:47 PM
#1112755
SurfinSeaOtter
Looks like Ministering Deliverance is killing vagrants again...
2/9/2010 2:30:33 PM
#1112760
Doubting Thomas
Anyone else get the idea that Ministering Deliverance is like Dungeons & Dragons for fundie Christians? All of their stories sound like something you'd hear in a D&D game only with a Christian slant.
2/9/2010 2:33:33 PM
#1112789
anevilmeme
@ Doubting Thomas:
That sums it up beautifully.
Demon enters house..... Fundie casts level 8 thunder cross.
2/9/2010 2:49:17 PM
#1112792
sha_lyn68
Is this a murder confession, a paranoid delusion or both?
2/9/2010 2:51:25 PM
#1112803
Quantum Mechanic
Take your anti-psychotics and step away from the keyboard.
2/9/2010 3:05:34 PM
#1112813
Tolpuddle Martyr
Is a demon kabob like a doner kabob with extra chili?
2/9/2010 3:18:52 PM
#1112820
Lag
My problem with quotes like this is that it seems to be trolling. While I don't doubt there are those out there that believe this kind of thing, the odds are much higher that it's a troll of some variety.
2/9/2010 3:26:13 PM
#1112821
Sinister
Always the obsession with all things anal.
2/9/2010 3:27:19 PM
#1112825
macavitykitsune
Why does this whole thing seem vaguely pornographic in nature? Riding the Lord's sword in a demon-kabob fashion....
2/9/2010 3:31:31 PM
#1112830
You should stop calling your dog a demon.
2/9/2010 3:36:13 PM
#1112835
Xotan
Is this person speaking English?
What is demon-kabob?
And no. I do not believe that a demon bit his wife. This is a case of lying for Jesus. Quite clearly. This one is sliding down the slope into the lake of fire.
2/9/2010 3:40:35 PM
#1112852
Hellboy
Wait...
My Pentecostal to English translator must be malfunctioning. Did he just admit to calling over a bunch of his buddies to gang-rape a small dog? Because that's what I'm getting from this.
2/9/2010 3:51:08 PM
#1112874
Sisyphus
Okay I'll need 10mg of Haldol STAT! Get the animal tranquilizer darts ready too this guy may not go down easy.
2/9/2010 4:02:27 PM
#1112875
Sandwich Board
Unless this is an out-and-out troll there is no way this can end well. Drugs or psychosis, pure delusion or interpretation of actual events.
Then again, there is another post in that same thread:
"<excessive applauding smilies> NOW THAT IS COOL
Can't say that i have experienced that one yet. "
Which makes me want to add: "Can I have some of what you're smoking?"
2/9/2010 4:03:38 PM
#1112894
Mike Sihl
And in local news an area mailman was violated today after making a delivery to the home of a local mental patient.
The mailman, whose name is being withheld, had only just finished delivering mail to the home of the area man, know only as "Donius", when the mentally desturbed man reportedly burst through the door, grabbed the mailman, accused him of biting a blowup doll belonging to "Donius" before he bound his hands to his ankles and invited serveral other men and women, who also have a history of mental health, around to his home to "demon-kabob" him, during which the mailman was violated repeatedly with a broom handle.
"I feared for my life" the anonymous mailman told police. "It seemed as though the were actually trying to push the broom all the way through my body. They were really trying to get that handle up my anus and out through my mouth."
"Donius", whose real name is at this time unknown, claims his equally disturbed friends are angels who help him to exorcise demons. "Donius" is believed to have been responsible for many other bizarre sexual attacks on area residents in the past. After posting about the attack on an internet forum "Donius" was made president of Way of the Master and is expected to have his own show on Fox News by May.
2/9/2010 4:17:59 PM
#1112895
Mike Sihl
Opps, double post
2/9/2010 4:18:15 PM
#1112906
Imroy
It looks like Sinister and I are thinking along the same lines.
Try this on for size:
"I bound it's hands to it's ankles and invited the angels to ____ him. Let's just say that demon had a "ride" on a sword to the cross"
Yeah.
Oh, and:
It's = contraction of "it is"
Its = possessive form of "it"
2/9/2010 4:25:58 PM
#1112907
Blasphemina
Mike Sihl wins the Internet.
2/9/2010 4:26:06 PM
#1112915
Random Guy
That's one poorly-disguised closet you're hiding in.
2/9/2010 4:30:35 PM
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