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Quote# 70675

[Board titled "America Needs A Witch Law"]

No need to be sorry. You're dyslexia is probably caused by a witch. A lot of things people take for granted that weren't around hundreds of years ago are because we are not tough on witches anymore. I have a friend who has dyslexia and it was at its worst in middle school when he was always bothered by this strange girl. I witnessed her doing magic experiments with potions one day and told the principal but he said there was nothing he could do. But then one day she started harrassing another boy and started leaving him alone. The next month he broke his elbow and my friend's english grades and test scores started doing a lot better. He caught up with a normal reading level the next year. I think it's because the witch stopped bothering him.

God bless you and wish you well. Look around at the people in your life. You'll probably find some seem a little suspicious like they might have a reason to bewitch you. Try to avoid those people. They are probably witches.

ChristsAdvocate, Topix 72 Comments [2/19/2010 12:35:37 AM]
Fundie Index: 79
Submitted By: Ajax
WTF?! || meh
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#1121286
SleepNeed

Did the girl weigh the same as a duck? If so she must be...A WITCH! BURN HER!

But really, no dyslexia does not work that way.

2/19/2010 12:55:07 AM
#1121287
Mat

Ah yeah, we're not tough on witches anymore, yet they still launch all these equal rights campaigns - but do share many traits that God has....like not existing

2/19/2010 12:55:23 AM
#1121292
Travis Touchdown

For fuck's sake, witches?

Did you just seriously blame dyslexia on witches?

Was your stupidity caused by a witch too?

2/19/2010 12:58:19 AM
#1121305
Slater

"You're dyslexia"

Amazing. Irony in just two words!

That's got to be a new record.

2/19/2010 1:20:15 AM
#1121314
Amandarandom

"You're dyslexia is probably caused by a witch"

so is yours.

2/19/2010 1:31:58 AM
#1121320
Na na na na

She is a witch, she turned me into a newt

a newt?

I got better

2/19/2010 1:37:55 AM
#1121323


Ok, since dilexia tends to be hereditary, does it mean that dilexic children are children to witches?. I can't find a better explanation.

2/19/2010 1:39:26 AM
#1121324
Swede

Evidence, please! Otherwise it's just hearsay, just as valuable as the Sleeping Beauty story.

We thought my oldest brother was a bit slow, but it turned out he had wax plugs in his ears. When they were removed he caught up with word-learning almost immediately.
No witch scare needed, just medical science.

2/19/2010 1:40:49 AM
#1121347
Nowonmai

Dyslexia has been around for centuries if not longer. Do you have any idea how many people were put to death for saying bible verses backwards because of dyslexia?

Oh yes, one more thing... you're a fucking idiot.

2/19/2010 1:59:45 AM
#1121388
Rat of Steel

(Rat simply sits back and grins, waiting patiently for The L to arrive and verbally castrate this ass-clown.)

Popcorn, anyone?

2/19/2010 2:35:46 AM
#1121422
John_in_Oz

No, dyslexia isn't one of the spells witches use. You can find out all the spells witches use from that marvelous documentary, harry Potter.

(Never thought I'd see a Fundie so crazy that recommending they consider HP a documentary would be an improvement!)

2/19/2010 3:11:37 AM
#1121433
Ken

Either you weren't paying attention in chem lab or this is all bull.

2/19/2010 3:20:36 AM
#1121434
Quantum Mechanic

What? Is it 1600 again?

2/19/2010 3:22:00 AM
#1121460
aaa

What.

2/19/2010 3:58:29 AM
#1121490
anevilmeme

Get the fuck out of my century!

2/19/2010 4:39:33 AM
#1121493


You are absolutely batshit insane.

2/19/2010 4:42:29 AM
#1121515
Kat

I know right, because when they had that law in Salem, Massachussets back in the late 17th century, they were really cracking down on witches and wiping them out leaving the good Puritan townspeople free and unthreatened.


Oh wait.

2/19/2010 4:56:51 AM
#1121521
Brain_In_A_Jar

Look, kid, I understand that middle school is a traumatic experience for a young male if you're not the alpha-jock or at least one of the guffawing playground bullies, but most of us manage to come out the other side only a little bitter and mentally scarred, not completely insane and convinced witches are to blame for the world's evils.

2/19/2010 5:03:24 AM
#1121522
louislois

Is your insanity caused by a witch?

Your principal was probably mortified when you went up to him accusing another student a witchcraft.

I can't believe people like you still exist in the 21st century.

2/19/2010 5:04:08 AM
#1121578
Doctor Whom

Obvious troll is obvious.

2/19/2010 6:24:06 AM
#1121581
Mister Spak

"Try to avoid those people. They are probably witches. "

More likely they're fundies.

2/19/2010 6:25:46 AM
#1121598
Safaraz

wow, as someone who's both a pagan and who is dyslexic this is doubly insulting! And the reason that no one was dyslexic a hundred years ago is because it wasn't recognized, not because there were less witches.

2/19/2010 6:35:33 AM
#1121600
Porky Pine

"I witnessed her doing magic experiments with potions one day and told the principal but he said there was nothing he could do."

It's called "Science class". I know, you probably have never seen one yourself but they do exist.

2/19/2010 6:38:31 AM
#1121622
TGRwulf

next month he broke his elbow and my friend's english grades and test scores started doing a lot better

Maybe cause he had more time to concentrate because of having a broken bone?

2/19/2010 7:04:53 AM
#1121625


Maybe you could call Sarah Palin's pastor and get him to give you one of his anti-witchcraft incantations to protect you.

2/19/2010 7:06:27 AM
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