Quote# 70675

[Board titled "America Needs A Witch Law"]

No need to be sorry. You're dyslexia is probably caused by a witch. A lot of things people take for granted that weren't around hundreds of years ago are because we are not tough on witches anymore. I have a friend who has dyslexia and it was at its worst in middle school when he was always bothered by this strange girl. I witnessed her doing magic experiments with potions one day and told the principal but he said there was nothing he could do. But then one day she started harrassing another boy and started leaving him alone. The next month he broke his elbow and my friend's english grades and test scores started doing a lot better. He caught up with a normal reading level the next year. I think it's because the witch stopped bothering him.

God bless you and wish you well. Look around at the people in your life. You'll probably find some seem a little suspicious like they might have a reason to bewitch you. Try to avoid those people. They are probably witches.

ChristsAdvocate, Topix 73 Comments [2/19/2010 12:35:37 AM]
Fundie Index: 81
Submitted By: Ajax

Username  (Login)
Comment  (Text formatting help) 

1 2 3 | bottom


I'm not sure whether to point and laugh, or break down and cry at this level of idiocy.

2/19/2010 4:13:02 PM


Harry Potter is FICTION, dear.

2/19/2010 5:09:36 PM


You are a moron. It wasn't caused by a witch, it was because you were likely raised as a moron by your moron parents.
Unlike your god and witches, moron parents are real.
It's the real tragedy in 21st century America.

2/19/2010 5:59:44 PM


"It could be witches, some evil witches...
Which is ridiculous 'cause witches they were persecuted
Wicca good and love the earth and women power and I'll be over here."

2/19/2010 6:13:29 PM


Why don't you kill yourself and leave everyone else alone?

2/19/2010 9:00:32 PM


Very small rocks.

2/19/2010 9:10:42 PM



I believe he would say, "Who the fuck is this retard and why is he claiming to be my advocate? I ain't got nothing to do with him."

2/19/2010 9:31:27 PM



2/19/2010 11:42:21 PM


JohnTheAtheist for the win

2/20/2010 12:24:53 AM

The Jamo

2/20/2010 6:50:54 AM

Slave To Uni

I know of a witch that works over on Faux News.

2/20/2010 6:57:38 AM

The L

I am a witch, and honestly cannot fathom why I would WANT to go around hexing innocent people in the first place. I just want to live and let live!

2/20/2010 7:09:34 AM


ChristsAdvocate, never mind "Bewitched", "Sabrina the Teenage Witch", the "Harry Potter" books or even the likes of "Mahou Tsukai Tai", if you know what's good for you, you'd better not read the manga "xxxHOLiC" by CLAMP:

Not for nothing is Yuuko (left) known as 'The Dimensional Witch' (with her transporting Syaoran, Sakura, Fai & Kurogane to various worlds, via the White Mokona in the sister manga "Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle"), but along with her counterpart the ultra-powerful wizard Clow Reed (right; creator of the Clow Cards & Key Staff in "CardCaptor Sakura") they created gods for many worlds.

The Bible is a book of stories (parables). "xxxHOLiC" is a manga story. Coincidence?

'There is no such thing as coincidence in this world. There is only Hitsuzen.' ('Inevitability')


2/20/2010 9:29:20 AM

Space Lizard

I dated a witch once. Never really heard of her cursing people, though. Quite the contrary, really.

2/20/2010 2:40:24 PM

G. Fieendish

Hmmm, experiments with potions...?
I take it that Chemistry lessons were not on your "friend's" school curricilum, then...?

2/21/2010 10:58:28 AM


I don't really know what to laugh more at, the quote above or the comments made by people purporting to be "witches".

Honestly, what the hell?

2/21/2010 6:21:35 PM

Martha Jones


Ever tried reading in Ancient Greek? Has it worked? If so, RUN, because the monsters are going to get you if you don't make it to camp.

2/23/2010 12:44:09 PM


People like this, I find myself hoping they never, ever are in charge of anything more than a houseplant.

2/23/2010 1:02:36 PM

Holy shit.

2/26/2010 1:51:36 AM


I don't feel like responding to the actual comment because my responses are typically very long and I just don't feel like it right now (plus, you're all doing a fantastic job anyway), so instead I'm just going to point out something about witches that I find extremely amusing:

From the 17th century to the 20th century, American witch laws went from "You can't do anything that looks like it could possibly be witchcraft, or we'll burn/hang you without any proof!" to "You can do witchcraft on people, but only if it's REAL! If it's fake, you go to jail for fraud!" I think that's 180º WIN.

2/27/2010 10:01:06 AM


You're dyslexia! LOL. You are dyslexia too! LOL

3/31/2010 5:59:38 PM

McPhilbert Adamia

I not am lysdexic!

3/31/2010 6:23:53 PM


Until recently those few who could read and write at all spelled pretty much however they felt like...

11/7/2013 11:00:28 AM

1 2 3 | top: comments page