Dearest brothers and sisters,
Wormwood, more commonly known as planet X is fast approaching. It is less than 3 years out. The Russians just launched a rocket at it, but we all know this is nothing to the Hand of ALmighty.
This planet, which is the size of Jupiter is causing global warming. It is also, causing other serious damage to our planet.
It brings with it, it's own gravitational pull, that WILL, change the rotation of our planet, and cause the winds to stop, the waters to stop, and the leaves to be still.
This will last 3 days. Then as the earths rotation changes direction, as the X falls in behind the sun, the water in your toilets will flush exactly opposite. The rivers will flow opposite. The quakes will be unimaginable, and like birthpangs will increase until the son of perdition is come.
The sop, a/c, maitreya is to arrive at this time. Perhaps on a meteor or some other heavenly body, but his advent is nigh.
Almighty's Humble Servant, CF 49 Comments
[2/19/2010 12:36:16 AM]
Fundie Index: 23
Submitted By: EnemyPartyII
..or will it? This summer, the greatest blockbuster of all times will be released!
Oh, and no. You'd think that any amateur astronomer (or hell, anyone with two functioning eyes) would notice that something as huge as JUPITER would be cruising in on us?
2/19/2010 1:57:47 AM
2/19/2010 1:57:56 AM
And funny enough, Russians and NASA alike are silent in the topic. Moreover, such a big thing is impossible to see at first sight(unlike the REAL Jupiter).Ok, Whatever.
2/19/2010 2:57:11 AM
Stuff doesn't work that way!
2/19/2010 4:41:43 AM
I thougt Planet X was called Nibiru?
2/19/2010 5:09:54 AM
I just think you drank a little too much of something that contained wormwood.
2/19/2010 5:10:43 AM
Percy Q. Shunn
At first, I was all like o_O
Then, I LOLd!
2/19/2010 5:11:58 AM
Wormwood? You do know that The Light of Other Days was a fiction novel?
2/19/2010 6:47:41 AM
This is what I, someone with no more than high school knowledge in astronomy, think about this.
This planet, which is the size of Jupiter is causing global warming.
- How? since it's not here yet it couldn't change the composition of our atmosphere, and a planet wouldn't give off enough heat to affect our weather from a distance.
It brings with it, it's own gravitational pull - Way to go, captain obvious.
and cause the winds to stop, the waters to stop, and the leaves to be still.
- Umm... it'll cancel out Earth's gravity? WTF?
This will last 3 days. Then as the earths rotation changes direction, as the X falls in behind the sun, the water in your toilets will flush exactly opposite. The rivers will flow opposite. The quakes will be unimaginable...
- Okay, the quake I understand. "Rogue Jupiter" on a very eccentric orbit I understand. Water flushing opposite? Toilets these days inject water at an angle so it would circle only one way anyway. River flowing opposite? RIVER AND GRAVITY DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY!
First time I respond to 2012 crazies because I'm still pissed of with the GT200 fiasco in my country.
2/19/2010 7:09:18 AM
I saw that on the Sci Fi channel last week. I think Greg Evigan was in it.
2/19/2010 7:11:26 AM
You're not all the way sane, are you?
2/19/2010 7:54:09 AM
Russia launching missiles would be headline news. Also, wind is caused by differences in temperature and differences in pressure. Earthquakes are also caused by movement of the tectonic plates. Neither really have anything to do with the rotation of the earth.
2/19/2010 11:58:26 AM
Let's ask the people south of the equator if any of this bullshit is true.
2/19/2010 3:18:25 PM
You're not all the way sane, are you?
His train left sanity station a LOOOOONG time ago.
2/19/2010 5:04:27 PM
When my toilet flushes opposite or if the rivers flow into my toilet then your sanity will no longer be in question.
2/19/2010 6:07:16 PM
Who is AL the mighty? Why is his hand more powerful than the rest of his body? Anyone know?
2/19/2010 7:02:45 PM
Let me know when that happens, because I don't want to be sitting on the toilet when it flushes the opposite way.
I'll probably miss the rest, because I already have air conditioning.
@werewolf. His hand is mightier than the rest of his body because his hand is a whole friggin' PLANET!
2/19/2010 7:47:06 PM
Creedence Leonore Gielgud
2012 is getting dangerously close. Has anyone started work on the next big, dumb-ass Armageddon theory yet? It's important that we have a working alternative, at exactly midnight EDT, Jan 1, 2012. Otherwise a lot of half-wits are not going to have anything to occupy their free time (i.e. all their time) with. This means they might leave their bunkers/moms' basements, and try to interact with proper society.
Have you ever been walking down the street, when you stumble across a smelly hobo, screaming about how the King of Japan is stealing all our pennies, to build a copper dome around Antarctica? Yea, it'll be like that, only with lots more people with no sense of hygiene, screaming incoherently in the streets. Get to work Internet. We're all in this together.
2/20/2010 1:12:23 AM
Aaaaaaaaand we have the return of the Nibiru nonsense.
Please. Do something constructive. Stop wasting your time, and ours.
2/20/2010 2:43:33 AM
Actually, wouldn't it be planet IX now?
2/20/2010 3:50:53 AM
If I understand correctly...
Wormwood shall be defeated by a intrepid reporter who used to be the traveling companion of someone who claims to be a doctor but shows no medical training. Said reporter will then adopt a cloned human teen and save the Earth with the help of a bunch of teenagers.
2/20/2010 12:24:02 PM
Maitreya?? How does Buddhism figure into these ravings?
2/20/2010 8:26:54 PM
The very definition of desperation...
...using Palladium RIFTS books as the inspiration for your conspiracy theory!
2/20/2010 8:40:14 PM
This reminds me of a guy who goes to my school.
2/20/2010 11:18:33 PM
That leaves me with a bit of a conundrum as I am now uncertain as to the order of events regarding Wormwood's arrival and the rapture. Unless Wormwood is bound up with the rapture somehow? I'm sure someone will know the answer to this. In any case, the answer is bound to be found in the Bible somewhere, if only I knew how to interpret scripture.
2/21/2010 2:18:51 AM