So a day after Washington, D.C. and Mexico City legalize gay marriage, both a Vatican official and an anti-gay California legislator have been caught in high-profile gay sex scandals. Does anyone honestly believe this is mere coincidence?
Clearly the creeping acceptance of gay marriage is driving otherwise straight men directly into the arms of other men . Just as gay marriage opponents predicted would happen! So please. Think of the Stanley Kurtzes of the world. It’s damned time we stopped gay marriage, before another vigorously, outspokenly, Pet Shop Boys-loathing hetero man is driven . . . er . . . to his knees. [Emphasis added]
70 comments
Oh god, I have got to stop drinking tea while reading this site!
(Worse still, I'm on a conference call at the moment and it took a second or two for me to hit mute!)
This is the lamest attempt of justifying the gay escapades of their prominent anti-gay activists I have ever read. Really, is there any man, somewhere, that has ever in the history of time, that has stopped being straight and became gay just because he could?
Strangely, as someone who is an outspoken proponent of gay marriage, but who is at the same time straight, I have no increased urges to hop into bed with any of my male friends and acquaintances. Not even the gay ones...
Oh come on, guys, this guy is so obviously a troll it isn't even funny. (Actually, yes it is because I'm sitting here gigglesnorting.)
Poe's Law:
"Without a winking smiley or other blatant display of humor, it is impossible to create a parody of Fundamentalism that SOMEONE won't mistake for the real thing."
http://rationalwiki.com/wiki/Poe%27s_law
While I'm pretty damn sure this is a poe... It's sadly not hard to belive that somone, somwhere, really belives this.
We just havn't found what forum they post on yet.
OMG it's the gay marriage vaccum! It's sucking the straight out of everyone and forcing them into consenting to homosexual acts with full knowledge! Oh noes!
Seriously, you're an idiot.
Wait...what? The notion that gay marriage might be legalized is making straight people turn gay? Do you even read what you type?
If that were the case, wouldn't the legalization of straight marrigage make gay men straight?
No. Maybe you should look a little deeper and realize that these people who are "anti gay marriage" are total fucking hypocrites. Do as I say, not as I do. You are a tool and they keep you in the tool box. Sucker.
"So a day after Washington, D.C. and Mexico City legalize gay marriage, both a Vatican official and an anti-gay California legislator have been caught in high-profile gay sex scandals. Does anyone honestly believe this is mere coincidence?
Clearly the creeping acceptance of gay marriage is driving otherwise straight men directly into the arms of other men."
So after the release of the documentary film "Jesus Camp", both Becky Fischer and Ted Faggard are destroyed; hoisted by their own dogmatic petards, their vile hypocrisies exposed for the world to see, are now nobodies in their own religious organisation/country as a whole. Openly admitting that you're an Atheist is no longer a social taboo in the US. Does anyone honestly believe this is mere coincidence?
Clearly the creeping acceptance of the evil of right-wing Fundamentalist Christianity and it's influence in politics (and thus the GOP losing it's powerbase; ergo President Obama. QED) is driving otherwise religious people directly into the reality of Atheism.
image
'There is no such thing as coincidence in this world. There is only Hitsuzen ' ('Inevitability').
-Yuuko the Dimensional Witch, "xxxHOLiC"
Or maybe, homophobia is just an expression of self-hatred turned outwards!
I'm thinking my idea is far more likely.
This is totally satire but it's absolutely hilarious. I almost choked on my drink laughing and had to wipe off my keyboard and screen. Completely spot on, dude. I know this is a site for real fundies, but this guy deserves some recognition on here somehow for this gem.
People don't start being gay because somebody tell them too. Besides, if they're anti-gay, they should preach by example, instead of confirming what other people already suspect, don't you think?
It takes some kind of real mental warping to come up with the ideas that Raddled Ball Cup is producing. It's an insult to Chaos Theory.
Perhaps if I say his name backwards at midnight he will turn gay too!
I think the typed-out "...er..." bit is about as obvious a wink as anyone should need. Nevertheless, I enjoyed it, in no small part because I'm sure some real fundies actually believe that part in bold.
Alternatively (and much more likely) the Vatican official and the anti-gay legislator were actually gay or bisexual. Seriously, we've had legal gay marriage up here for years and the homosexuality rate hasn't actually risen. Straight people are straight because they're not attracted other members of their gender.
What. The. Fuck.
"Clearly the creeping acceptance of gay marriage is driving otherwise straight men directly into the arms of other men."
Yes clearly. that is the only explanation. How could I have not seen this before. Gay marriage can mystically force you to blow dudes. That is the simplest and most likey answer Occam would be proud.
I'm a straight man. I'd rather die than have sex with another man. That isn't just hyperbole - I'd rather die.
That said, cram your homophobic bullshit as far up your arse as it will go.
I see point A: "both a Vatican official and an anti-gay California legislator have been caught in high-profile gay sex scandal."
I see point B: "Clearly the creeping acceptance of gay marriage is driving otherwise straight men directly into the arms of other men."
But the two points do not exist in the same universe, never mind along the same road. The logical disconnect here is so glaring it blinds people on other planets.
Clearly the creeping acceptance of gay marriage is driving otherwise straight men directly into the arms of other men.
A hetrosexual isn't going to have gay sex because gay marriage is legal. These were most likely closted gays.
Funny Poe is funny. Still, I felt like commenting.
So a day after Washington, D.C. and Mexico City legalize gay marriage, both a Vatican official and an anti-gay California legislator have been caught in high-profile gay sex scandals. Does anyone honestly believe this is mere coincidence?
Nah, these men just realized that their 'forbidden love' is no longer forbidden. Good for them! Though they'd better they take back all the bad things they said about homosexuals.
This is not a Poe because he is not pretending to be someone he isn't. The author, Radley Balko is one of the leading Libertarian bloggers (www.theagitator.com ), and a fellow at the Cato Institute. Of course he was being sarcastic; how could it not be any more clear? He regularly points out the hypocritical actions done by anti-gay bigots, but he employs humor and sarcasm, which obviously goes wayyyy over the heads of a large part of the commenters here.
I'm going to email him the link to this post. He'll get an enormous kick out of it.
Quite a few people's sarcasm meters were seriously defective for this post to even be submitted, let alone approved. Mods, please remove it (or at least add a note indicating that it is now recognized as sarcasm).
~David D.G.
<i>Clearly the creeping acceptance of gay marriage is driving otherwise straight men directly into the arms of other men.</i>
Uhh, no. Straight men are straight men. Proof: you. Do you suddenly have the overwhelming urge to start dating and sleeping with men? No.
However, it might make gay men who are living "The Straight Lie" to stop doing so.
Come on, this guy isn't really serious.
Sadly, there are people dumb enough to believe this to be true but this guy isn't one of them
Yeah, I'd have to agree that this is a troll or simply sarcasm. Can't put my finger on it, though... Hold on...
Think of the Stanley Kurtzes of the world.
That would be pretty much it, methinks.
"Clearly the creeping acceptance of gay marriage is driving otherwise straight men directly into the arms of other men."
heres a thought: maybe the legalization of gay marriage simply brought these men OUT of the closet from already having BEEN GAY for a while now and rather encouraged them and strengthened them into wanting to come out instead of hiding it and fearing what shitholes like you would say about it.
"otherwise straight men being driven into the arms of other men" my ass!
PS: I see what you did there. How come you homophobic bible thumpers only seem to target the gay MEN. I never hear you complaining about the lesbian women... or hell even the bisexual men and women... WHY DO YOU TARGET PENIS ON PENIS ACTION?? WHYYYYYY XD
Is it maybe because you cant find any evidence chapter or verse of WOMEN ON WOMEN action in your BuyBull being comdemned? Hmmmm....
I find it a rather frightening concept that all "sin" - at least for white, wealthy, heterosexual men - is externally driven. In other words, their vices and wrongdoings are always someone else's fault. Same as blaming the victim for the rapist's actions.
I do know this satire, but there are so many who espouse serious views similiar to this its scary. You can't really satirise something unless there is a real-world basis for it, anyway.
I like his link to Roy Ashburn's arrest:
Ashburn, a father of four, is a Republican Senator ... with a history of opposing gay rights
was arrested for allegedly driving drunk after leaving Faces, a gay nightclub in midtown Sacramento... A male passenger, who was not identified as a lawmaker, was also in the car.
Quotations amended for clarity while retaining meaning.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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