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Quote# 71775

AT I-HOP—INTERNATIONAL HOUSE OF PRAYER KANSAS CITY this past week . . .

God began touching folks’ teeth.

And one fellow had a full set of dentures . . . and they suddenly began to feel uncomfortable like there was something under them. He took them out and soon found he had a whole set of teeth growing in. I think they grew in fully before the evening was over.

I could stand that!

Once in a church 35 years or so ago I was standing next to a friend in the sound booth during a visiting evangelist’s ministering . . . teeth being one of the things that tended to be touched in his services. And my friend starts feeling a spot turn warm in his mouth just like the evangelist warned about. So he went to the men’s room to check and sure enough—there was a new filling and he didn’t even know he needed one.

The evangelist said he had no idea why God filled some with gold, some silver and some just got new teeth.

Interesting . . . sounds like God’s humor, to me.

Quix, Free Republic 91 Comments [3/30/2010 3:52:29 AM]
Fundie Index: 82
Submitted By: Justin
WTF?! || meh
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John_in_Oz

That crazy God and his wacky sense of humour!
Back when he invented black plague, ichneumon wasps, famine, Ebola virus and cerebral palsy he must have been wetting himself.
This is the result of wickedly pinching apples, after I told you not to! yes, I know you had no knowledge of good and evil till after you did it, so you couldn't have known it was wicked to disobey me, but hey, that's just my wacky sense of humour again!
Tell you what, if you kill my son for me, I'll call it all square. He'll pay the price of your sin. What's that, you still getting the children starving thing after you whacked the kid? Well, that's me and my sense of humour again.
See, it's spiritually all paid for. As far as evidence goes, that's a word that means exactly the same as 'made up'. However after you die I'll show you I'm not a bullshit artist. Just me and that ol' sensa huma again.
Why else do you think I play 'peekaboo' with humans? I flashed my buttocks to Moses, why do I play hide and seek with you, with eternal hellfire as your puishment for not catching me? Why boy, I'm just funning with you.

Nah, after mature consideration, I have to disagree with Quix. God's sense of humour is far sicker than just fucking with the falsies of the faithful.

3/30/2010 12:09:35 PM

pete

Lying for Jesus is a sin, assuming one Believes in the whole concept of sin.

3/30/2010 12:25:41 PM

Proserpina

Seriously? What do you take us for? Most of us on Planet Earth (which is spherical, not flat, in case you were wondering) no longer live in the middle ages and require empirical evidence to support such claims.

3/30/2010 12:42:36 PM

DevilsChaplain

Uh...huh.

Pics or it didn't happen you delusional headcase.

3/30/2010 2:36:00 PM

Andre

Acid in the water. No other explanation...

3/30/2010 2:51:01 PM

Toni

As someone who actually lives in Kansas City, this wasn't in the local news. Obviously because it didn't happen.

3/30/2010 3:29:37 PM

GodotIsWaiting4U

Dentistry by deity.

Also, I call so much bullshit on these magical regrowing teeth.

3/30/2010 3:40:21 PM

Sandwich Board

"God began touching folks' teeth".

Kinky!

Did any of these folks bite down?

3/30/2010 4:36:03 PM

Quantum Mechanic

"God began touching folks’ teeth. "

Somebody's been coming on to speed.

3/30/2010 4:37:49 PM

Zeus Almighty

Hey Quix, you think if I attended a service Bible-god would grow me a porn cock? I'm thinking that I'd really like to get into that business, and with a little boost -- if you know what I mean -- I could be getting paid to fuck.
That would be awesome! And your side would have a convert.
If it's all the same, however, I'd rather the preacher didn't actually lay hands on my magic wand. I'm not looking to get into gay porn or anything.

3/30/2010 5:11:18 PM

shykid

"God began touching folks’ teeth."

That's kind of gross, feeling around in people's mouths. Hope he was wearing gloves. If he chips one of my porcelain laminates, he's paying the bill.

3/30/2010 5:13:17 PM

WMDKitty



Damn, this image is HANDY!

3/30/2010 5:19:48 PM

shykid

@WMDKitty: Win!

3/30/2010 5:50:30 PM

Elia

I call shenanigans on the part of the priest and the "cured."

3/30/2010 5:53:32 PM

Matante

I don't know so much about the proper alloys for fillings, but is silver even suitable?
God would be a douche for giving people fillings that will corrode off...

3/30/2010 6:23:14 PM



Man, free fillings for praying to Jebus, shame it's all a cheap stupid lie.

3/30/2010 8:02:46 PM

shockmeshockmeshockmewiththatdeviantbehavior

what is WRONG with these people? do ya hafta pass a retard test beforing going to these so called "miraculous sermons" and meetings? Thats the only way I could explain people being this fucking gullible and idiotic! IT MAKES ME FEEL ASHAMED TO EVEN HAVE ANY FUCKING FAITH IN GOD OR A CREATOR DEITY AT ALL... how can an amazing God create people THIS FUCKING STOOPID?

3/30/2010 9:20:11 PM

DinosaurRidinJeebus

Funny how a scientist, or any credible person for that matter, is never present during a single one of the "miracles" you people claim happen.

3/30/2010 9:59:33 PM

BobsOldSocks

This person can't possibly think this is real, can he?! In a first world country, surrounded by the accumulated knowledge of thousands of years (but especially the last couple of hundred) we have people who believe this fantasy? Where have our education systems gone wrong?

3/30/2010 10:54:56 PM

PhoenixUltima

You know, televangelists and the like have been known to simply pay people to sit in the audience and wait to be called on so they can pretend to have been miraculously healed. His friend might have been willing to tell a "white" lie in exchange for some quick cash.

3/30/2010 11:52:57 PM

The Jamo

Extra! Extra! Read all about it! God plays dentist in spare time.

And my friend starts feeling a spot turn warm in his mouth just like the evangelist warned about.

Are you sure he wasn't doing coke?

3/31/2010 4:22:34 AM

Nowonmai

And how many times did your mother drop you on your head?

3/31/2010 5:45:06 AM

FSMpirate

Prove it or it didn't happen and you're full of shit.

3/31/2010 6:31:45 AM

dog on

"sounds like God’s humor, to me."

God has edema?

3/31/2010 12:29:58 PM

K

A God who heals hillbilly's teeth and ignores suffering women and starving children all over the world... Is that really the story you want to go with to encourage conversion?

3/31/2010 12:44:21 PM
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