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#1140892
John_in_Oz
That crazy God and his wacky sense of humour!
Back when he invented black plague, ichneumon wasps, famine, Ebola virus and cerebral palsy he must have been wetting himself.
This is the result of wickedly pinching apples, after I told you not to! yes, I know you had no knowledge of good and evil till after you did it, so you couldn't have known it was wicked to disobey me, but hey, that's just my wacky sense of humour again!
Tell you what, if you kill my son for me, I'll call it all square. He'll pay the price of your sin. What's that, you still getting the children starving thing after you whacked the kid? Well, that's me and my sense of humour again.
See, it's spiritually all paid for. As far as evidence goes, that's a word that means exactly the same as 'made up'. However after you die I'll show you I'm not a bullshit artist. Just me and that ol' sensa huma again.
Why else do you think I play 'peekaboo' with humans? I flashed my buttocks to Moses, why do I play hide and seek with you, with eternal hellfire as your puishment for not catching me? Why boy, I'm just funning with you.
Nah, after mature consideration, I have to disagree with Quix. God's sense of humour is far sicker than just fucking with the falsies of the faithful.
3/30/2010 12:09:35 PM
#1140907
pete
Lying for Jesus is a sin, assuming one Believes in the whole concept of sin.
3/30/2010 12:25:41 PM
#1140915
Proserpina
Seriously? What do you take us for? Most of us on Planet Earth (which is spherical, not flat, in case you were wondering) no longer live in the middle ages and require empirical evidence to support such claims.
3/30/2010 12:42:36 PM
#1140957
DevilsChaplain
Uh...huh.
Pics or it didn't happen you delusional headcase.
3/30/2010 2:36:00 PM
#1140966
Andre
Acid in the water. No other explanation...
3/30/2010 2:51:01 PM
#1140980
Toni
As someone who actually lives in Kansas City, this wasn't in the local news. Obviously because it didn't happen.
3/30/2010 3:29:37 PM
#1140987
GodotIsWaiting4U
Dentistry by deity.
Also, I call so much bullshit on these magical regrowing teeth.
3/30/2010 3:40:21 PM
#1141014
Sandwich Board
"God began touching folks' teeth".
Kinky!
Did any of these folks bite down?
3/30/2010 4:36:03 PM
#1141016
Quantum Mechanic
"God began touching folks’ teeth. "
Somebody's been coming on to speed.
3/30/2010 4:37:49 PM
#1141029
Zeus Almighty
Hey Quix, you think if I attended a service Bible-god would grow me a porn cock? I'm thinking that I'd really like to get into that business, and with a little boost -- if you know what I mean -- I could be getting paid to fuck.
That would be awesome! And your side would have a convert.
If it's all the same, however, I'd rather the preacher didn't actually lay hands on my magic wand. I'm not looking to get into gay porn or anything.
3/30/2010 5:11:18 PM
#1141031
shykid
"God began touching folks’ teeth."
That's kind of gross, feeling around in people's mouths. Hope he was wearing gloves. If he chips one of my porcelain laminates, he's paying the bill.
3/30/2010 5:13:17 PM
#1141035
WMDKitty
Damn, this image is HANDY!
3/30/2010 5:19:48 PM
#1141050
shykid
@WMDKitty: Win!
3/30/2010 5:50:30 PM
#1141053
Elia
I call shenanigans on the part of the priest and the "cured."
3/30/2010 5:53:32 PM
#1141061
Matante
I don't know so much about the proper alloys for fillings, but is silver even suitable?
God would be a douche for giving people fillings that will corrode off...
3/30/2010 6:23:14 PM
#1141084
Man, free fillings for praying to Jebus, shame it's all a cheap stupid lie.
3/30/2010 8:02:46 PM
#1141095
shockmeshockmeshockmewiththatdeviantbehavior
what is WRONG with these people? do ya hafta pass a retard test beforing going to these so called "miraculous sermons" and meetings? Thats the only way I could explain people being this fucking gullible and idiotic! IT MAKES ME FEEL ASHAMED TO EVEN HAVE ANY FUCKING FAITH IN GOD OR A CREATOR DEITY AT ALL... how can an amazing God create people THIS FUCKING STOOPID?
3/30/2010 9:20:11 PM
#1141103
DinosaurRidinJeebus
Funny how a scientist, or any credible person for that matter, is never present during a single one of the "miracles" you people claim happen.
3/30/2010 9:59:33 PM
#1141121
BobsOldSocks
This person can't possibly think this is real, can he?! In a first world country, surrounded by the accumulated knowledge of thousands of years (but especially the last couple of hundred) we have people who believe this fantasy? Where have our education systems gone wrong?
3/30/2010 10:54:56 PM
#1141131
PhoenixUltima
You know, televangelists and the like have been known to simply pay people to sit in the audience and wait to be called on so they can pretend to have been miraculously healed. His friend might have been willing to tell a "white" lie in exchange for some quick cash.
3/30/2010 11:52:57 PM
#1141179
The Jamo
Extra! Extra! Read all about it! God plays dentist in spare time.
And my friend starts feeling a spot turn warm in his mouth just like the evangelist warned about.
Are you sure he wasn't doing coke?
3/31/2010 4:22:34 AM
#1141210
Nowonmai
And how many times did your mother drop you on your head?
3/31/2010 5:45:06 AM
#1141225
FSMpirate
Prove it or it didn't happen and you're full of shit.
3/31/2010 6:31:45 AM
#1141339
dog on
"sounds like God’s humor, to me."
God has edema?
3/31/2010 12:29:58 PM
#1141343
K
A God who heals hillbilly's teeth and ignores suffering women and starving children all over the world... Is that really the story you want to go with to encourage conversion?
3/31/2010 12:44:21 PM
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