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Quote# 7231

You people love science, and may love studying the universe. But what comfort it is to know that if we are faithful, a grand and glorious home awaits us! We will have eternity to explore the universe, explore new worlds---better than any graphics a computer game could ever give! We'll be right in touch with all the questions of science we ever dreamed! This just isn't about living in Heaven 'on a cloud playing a harp, singing with the angels and living with God forever.' People get a warped concept about what Heaven is all about. It is MUCH MUCH MORE than they could even begin to imagine. We will have eternity to take advantage of the most advanced technology in the universe---including who knows--perhaps mass panarama screens where we rewatch the history of the world unfold? In Heaven, we will be able to have our own powers to create and design our own planets...imagine designing your own planet just as you like...imagine eating the most delicious food ever tasted by living beings--food that our taste buds will automatically be adapted to! You may think I'm going nuts, but I'm only trying to emphasize that heaven is a lot more to look forward to than you could even speculate. It's only yours if you choose. It's pretty simple actually.

Lysimachus, Someplace Somewhere 19 Comments [5/1/2004 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 2
WTF?! || meh
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Bone_Vulture

Can't you see? The life as we know it is actually hell compared to the magical heavenly wonderland! Shucks, I wish I could just die quickly so I can have my own billion dollar mansion except that I wouldn't need money because in Heaven you can pay for stuff with sparkly stickers and also I could summon stuff out of thin air because Heaven is full of magic and then I'd design my own planet and who needs science anyway when YOU HAVE GREAT STORIES?!

4/21/2006 8:39:15 PM

David D.G.

<< In Heaven, we will be able to have our own powers to create and design our own planets...imagine designing your own planet just as you like... >>

-----------------------

I'd really like to know what Bible verse says that people in heaven will become like the Magratheans, able to design custom-built luxury planets. So far, every verse that's been pointed out to me regarding what heaven will be like sounds like nothing but constant praising of God -- which sounds like it would be terribly dull, and would not leave much time for building planets.


~David D.G.

4/21/2006 9:02:51 PM

Julian

If we adapt to them, wil lthey stil be as delicious?

Ummm, also, are you saying we get to be Gods is heaven? Sure sounds like it!

Please take your stupid fantasies elsewhere!

4/22/2006 3:48:02 AM

Crosis

I remember that thread. That's easily the looniest of Lys's posts in the thread, but he manages to work in all sorts of lunacy (Ron Wyatt's \"discoveries\" of the Ark and chariot wheels in the Red Sea take up two full pages).

4/22/2006 5:17:13 AM



This reminds me of George Orwell's description of \"Sugar Candy Mountain\" (Animal Heaven)...\"The pigs had an even harder struggle to counteract the lies put about by Moses, the tame raven. Moses, who was Mr. Jones's especial pet, was a spy and a tale-bearer, but he was also a clever talker. He claimed to know of the existence of a mysterious country called Sugarcandy Mountain, to which all animals went when they died. It was situated somewhere up in the sky, a little distance beyond the clouds, Moses said. In Sugarcandy Mountain it was Sunday seven days a week, clover was in season all the year round, and lump sugar and linseed cake grew on the hedges. The animals hated Moses because he told tales and did no work, but some of them believed in Sugarcandy Mountain, and the pigs had to argue very hard to persuade them that there was no such place.\"

12/24/2006 5:10:51 AM

Damn Yankee

Faith is the capacity to believe what you know to be untrue.

12/24/2006 5:47:05 AM

Barikada

"We will have eternity to take advantage of the most advanced technology in the universe---including who knows--perhaps mass panarama screens where we rewatch the history of the world unfold?" Wait a minute... You have the most advanced tech in the universe, and you... you want to watch history?

Can you imagine how AWESOME Starcraft would be on that screen!?

10/22/2008 2:29:31 AM

Munk

To I smell a touch of Mormonism?

10/22/2008 6:08:30 AM

Tormentor of Religion

So heaven will be a real version of Spore?
No thanks. It's a great game, but space stage simply gets boring after a couple of days.

3/23/2009 11:59:07 AM

Rapax Pringer

I'm pretty content with Simlife, Simearth, Afterlife, and the editors for Warcraft 2 and 3, thank you very much.

10/28/2010 3:48:14 PM



We will have eternity to explore the universe, explore new worlds---better than any graphics a computer game could ever give!

Will there be elves? If there aren't any elves, I think I'll give heaven a miss and stick with EverQuest II.

10/28/2010 8:07:17 PM

rubber chicken

Meh! Compared to the usual fare of blood frenzied, slobber chucking, "I get to watch people I don't like being horribly tortured" faptasy that we normally see, this one is very tame and even, kinda cute.

Totally deluded, but still....

10/28/2010 11:59:14 PM

Angua

So heaven is cool because you can watch the entirety of history on IMAX screens, it has food, and you can design your own planets?

Seriously? Is that the best you can do? We have IMAX thwarted on Earth, even if we don't get to watch the entirety of history on them -- and let's face it, that would get boring really fast. We have food on Earth right now, and some of it is pretty damn delicious; we don't need Heaven for that. The only one of those things that could actually be qualified as awesome is designing your own planets -- and even then Douglas Adams would have every right to sue your God for plagiarism.

Yeah. You guys keep on saying Heaven is unimaginable awesome -- I think this is mostly because you aren't very good at imaging things that are actually awesome.

10/29/2010 12:37:35 AM

Philbert McAdamia

> We'll be right in touch with all the questions of science we ever dreamed!
We will have eternity to take advantage of the most advanced technology in the universe-- <

So we'll be studying science in heaven, yet we don't do it here? I thought "leaving our brains behind" was a great advantage to heaven.

10/29/2010 5:27:50 AM

Swede

Love science? It's very useful, surely, but to go as far as loving it, nope.

Please provide evidence that Heaven exists.

10/29/2010 7:45:56 AM



Anon-e-moose

"You people love science, and may love studying the universe. But what comfort it is to know that if we are faithful, a grand and glorious home awaits us! We will have eternity to explore the universe, explore new worlds---better than any graphics a computer game could ever give! We'll be right in touch with all the questions of science we ever dreamed! This just isn't about living in Heaven 'on a cloud playing a harp, singing with the angels and living with God forever.' People get a warped concept about what Heaven is all about. It is MUCH MUCH MORE than they could even begin to imagine. We will have eternity to take advantage of the most advanced technology in the universe---including who knows--perhaps mass panarama screens where we rewatch the history of the world unfold? In Heaven, we will be able to have our own powers to create and design our own planets...imagine designing your own planet just as you like...imagine eating the most delicious food ever tasted by living beings--food that our taste buds will automatically be adapted to! You may think I'm going nuts, but I'm only trying to emphasize that heaven is a lot more to look forward to than you could even speculate. It's only yours if you choose. It's pretty simple actually."

Indeed, very simple. Incidentally, ever hear of the Spartans? Especially how they trained their apprentice warriors? Apart from the martial training (natch), they were also schooled in coming out with quick, snappy, snarky answers - what became the basis of what's known today as 'Laconic Wit'. And on that basis, I have the simple answer to the 'tl;dr' arse gravy you dribbled out here Lysimachus (especially your second paragraph), and it's just Five Words:

'If.'

Remember: Pascal's Wager, bitch.

10/29/2010 9:01:37 AM

Canadiest

I knew Fundies would start working Sci-Fi into their religion and claim the concepts as Biblical. He's more or less stolen the concept of Galactus's Heralds here

10/30/2010 9:29:24 AM

The Anonymous

Unfortunately, the Bible doesn't say any of that, and instead gives more of the impression that Heaven is basically North Korea except the Great Leader actually is immortal AND he's omnipotent.

I still have to admit that I believed this too when I was a Christian.

8/24/2013 6:57:34 AM

Quantum Mechanic

You're pretty simple.
Now stop using computers and die.

10/6/2014 7:52:30 AM
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