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Quote# 724

I know TONS of people who have children in spite of "the pill" or other methods of birth control, or are products themselves of such an "accident". God isn't bound by some little pill or piece of rubber. Nothing is 100% effective, and God will give you a baby if he wants to. Heck, he made a VIRGIN give birth; he can work in spite of birth control

t3rm, Christian Guitar Resources 25 Comments [10/1/2002 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 4
WTF?! || meh
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Gadren

Well, if God can make you have a baby whenever you want, then wouldn't birth control be OK then? After all, God could always intervene...

What about abortion? By this logic, if the fetus was really important, then God would just make it survive somehow...

11/23/2005 5:21:26 AM

Darth Wang

Primitive superstitious dorks....

11/23/2005 2:15:48 PM

Allegory for Jesus

So, then, use whatever methods of birth control you want because of God really wants that person born He'll use magic to make it happen anyway? Perfect argument for using all the birth control you can muster. Hell, if God really is that powerful, you might as well try to kill your kids too. Every step of the way. If God wants you to keep having a kid, He'll protect 'em with magic everytime. And what a good proof of God all those miracles would be too! Get right on that, you true believer you!

7/29/2010 7:09:38 PM



Heck, he made a VIRGIN give birth; he can work in spite of birth control

So you are saying that if I didn't stop using condoms, God is likely to sneak into my house and impregnate my wife himself just to prove that he can? Damn...

7/29/2010 7:31:42 PM

Neith

You said it yourself. "Nothing is 100% effective." Your imaginary friend has nothing to do with it.

7/29/2010 10:44:32 PM

Quantum Mechanic

[citation needed]

7/30/2010 12:04:48 AM



Abortions are pretty much always effective. Imagine the world today if Mary had had access to a knitting needle.

7/30/2010 12:17:25 AM

Fompili

Nothing is 100% affective, agreed. :)

Not even your anti-scientific drivel. I think its effectiveness averages 0.01%, if that.

7/30/2010 8:08:31 AM

SeekerLancer

God will curse you with super sperm.

7/30/2010 8:20:51 AM

rw23

@#1186684

> So you are saying that if I didn't stop using condoms, God is likely to sneak into my house and impregnate my wife himself just to prove that he can? Damn...

Well, if she's still a virgin, yes.

7/30/2010 10:25:40 AM

1186684

rw23
Well, if she's still a virgin, yes.

Are you suggesting that the state of virginity is sustained because of condom use? That is quite an interesting theory, off-topic as it may be. Nonetheless, I'll try a little simplification for the ease of comprehension:

1st assertion: Birth control is absolutely forbidden.

2nd assertion: God can give you a baby even if your birth control methods are working because...

3rd assertion: ...he even made a Virgin give birth (in which case, as the Christian mythology goes, he literally "did" a human woman.)

Putting the above three assertions together, you get:

God hates birth control so much that if a couple uses it, he'll rape the woman into pregnancy just to show he's the real big daddy around, and everybody's his bitch.

Careful reading is one of the essential prerequisites of understanding, and can, sometimes, make all the difference in the world.

7/30/2010 2:11:21 PM

BloodFoxTK

hahahahahahaha...
oh wait, you're serious? let me laugh even harder!
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

1/20/2011 8:38:07 AM

Dr. Shrinker

So why take medication? After all, if your god wants you to be sick, nothing we mere humans can do can stop it.

Hmm, maybe I shouldn't go there. A lot of children have died of preventable conditions because their parents thought that way. Perhaps we should just leave your god out of medicine altogether. Yes, I like that idea much better.

1/20/2011 8:50:41 AM

Philbert McAdamia

> Heck, he made a VIRGIN give birth; <

Oh, NO!!! We're ALL fucked.
Even us guys, since he can do the impossible any damn time he wants.

1/20/2011 8:58:18 AM

jas43

please go to Rwanda and ask a mother who saw her child hacked to bits before her eyes if there is a truly loving god.

your logic is an epic fucking failure.

1/20/2011 9:42:13 AM

rw23

@#1186804:

> Are you suggesting that the state of virginity is sustained because of condom use?

I was alluding to the possibility that she may only have ever taken it up the arse.

Another pre-requisite to understanding is a little imagination.

1/20/2011 11:28:42 AM

louislois

Thank God for abortions then!!!

1/20/2011 11:34:20 AM

Anon

The teenage pregnancy rates of The Netherlands, compared with those of the US-Bible-Belt say otherwise.

The Bible Belt has 8 (yes, eight!) times as much teenage pregnancies as The Netherlands (pregnancies per 1000 girls age 15-19). And these numbers are combined abortions and live birth rates.

As far as I know, the super-safe method of using simultaneously the pill and a condom is called the "Double Dutch".

Of course, all birth control only reduces the probability of getting pregnant. No birth control method can reduce it to 0%. But it is still way better than "keep your pants closed until marriage". Because people won't keep their pants closed, and then the probability of getting pregnant is extremely high.

But the whole concept of probabilities is something fundies have deep problems of understanding in general... thats the reason why they need to cling on the strange idea of a "creator".

1/20/2011 11:46:09 AM



Ok, if birth control doesn't work, why worrying so much?. Or why are you drinking water or taking a plane if there is the same possibility of failure and a mortal one in those cases?

2/24/2011 4:38:22 AM

Canadiest

Christian Guitar Resources? Specialisations being taken to the limit here. Do they object to phrasing like neck or body? Is it for condemning the guitar Gods of rock who are mostly Atheists, is there a Satanic Guitar Resources site?

2/24/2011 7:53:28 AM

Anon-e-moose

"I know TONS of people who have children in spite of "the pill" or other methods of birth control, or are products themselves of such an "accident". God isn't bound by some little pill or piece of rubber. Nothing is 100% effective, and God will give you a baby if he wants to. Heck, he made a VIRGIN give birth; he can work in spite of birth control"

In that case, why bother being a Protestant? Just become a Catholic, and have done with it.

(Immediately after the "Every Sperm is Sacred" routine):

Harry Blackitt: 'Look at them, bloody Catholics, filling the bloody world up with bloody people they can't afford to bloody feed.'
Mrs. Blackitt: 'What are we dear?'
HB: 'Protestant, and fiercely proud of it.'
MB: 'Hmm. Well, why do they have so many children?'
HB: 'Because... every time they have sexual intercourse, they have to have a baby.'
MB: 'But it's the same with us, Harry.'
HB: 'What do you mean?'
MB: 'Well, I mean, we've got two children, and we've had sexual intercourse twice.'
HB: 'That's not the point. We could have it any time we wanted.'
MB: 'Really?'
HB: 'Oh, yes, and, what's more, because we don't believe in all that Papist claptrap, we can take precautions.'
MB: 'What, you mean... lock the door?'
HB: 'No, no. I mean, because we are members of the Protestant Reformed Church, which successfully challenged the autocratic power of the Papacy in the mid-sixteenth century, we can wear little rubber devices to prevent issue.'
MB: 'What d'you mean?'
HB: 'I could, if I wanted, have sexual intercourse with you...'
MB: 'Oh, yes, Harry.'
HB: '...and, by wearing a rubber sheath over my old feller, I could insure... that, when I came off, you would not be impregnated.'
MB: 'Ooh.'
HB: 'That's what being a Protestant's all about. That's why it's the church for me. That's why it's the church for anyone who respects the individual and the individual's right to decide for him or herself. When Martin Luther nailed his protest up to the church door in fifteen-seventeen, he may not have realised the full significance of what he was doing, but four hundred years later, thanks to him, my dear, I can wear whatever I want on my John Thomas...'
[sniff]
HB: '... and, Protestantism doesn't stop at the simple condom. Oh, no. I can wear French Ticklers if I want.'
MB: 'You what?'
HB: 'French Ticklers. Black Mambos. Crocodile Ribs. Sheaths that are designed not only to protect, but also to enhance the stimulation of sexual congress.'
MB: 'Have you got one?'
HB: 'Have I got one? Uh, well, no, but I can go down the road any time I want and walk into Harry's and hold my head up high and say in a loud, steady voice, 'Harry, I want you to sell me a condom. In fact, today, I think I'll have a French Tickler, for I am a Protestant.'
MB: 'Well, why don't you?'
HB: 'But they - Well, they cannot, 'cause their church never made the great leap out of the Middle Ages and the domination of alien Episcopal supremacy.'

-Graham Chapman & Eric Idle, "Monty Python's The Meaning of Life"

2/24/2011 8:04:03 AM

Toothygrin

I know about a few oopsies, also. They all had to do with: a few days of missing the pill, or taking some form of medication that nullified the effect of it. Easily determined, easily measured. God need not apply.

2/24/2011 8:39:04 AM

jas43

no.
that story was blatantly copied from other religions.

you fail.
hard.

2/24/2011 10:16:31 AM

eyeofthestorm

*ahem* condoms are made of latex, not titanium. They can and do rip.

2/15/2014 11:04:10 PM

Swede

How many people is a ton of people? Is it a metric ton or an imperial ton?

No contraceptive method is 100 percent effective, no, and the Abstinence Only method seems the least reliable of them all.

God supposedly made a VIRGIN give birth; we have no solid evidence that it's actually true.

Christian Guitar?

2/16/2014 3:32:34 AM
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