Proud to be American
Well, America is a great country, but unless you've actually done something to improve this country you're basically saying "I'm proud of where I was born". To which I give a big, fat "So fucking what?". Being born is not an accomplishment.
Proud to be white (doughy, pasty, lily white, no hyphen)
Again, you're basically saying "I'm proud of how I was born". Okay, well whoop-de-motherfucking-do.
Proud to be straight
Again, being born is not an achievement.
Proud of a lifetime of hard work
Finally, an actual achievement. Though, given that it ranks fourth on your list and the three before it were birth related I take it you didn't accomplish much in your life. See, people that actually accomplish things will list those accomplishments. For example: I'm a Tae Kwon Do red belt, an amateur astronomer, a guitar player, and an avid traveler and I'm damn proud of those accomplishments and those are always the first four I'd list.
It rocks being NORMAL
First off, "Normal" only exists as a type in Pokemon, it doesn't exist in real life. There is no such thing as a standard person. Second, why the hell would anyone WANT to be standard anyway? It's incredibly boring. I hate people that try to be too ordinary. Everyone has their own individuality and nobody else can have that and any economist or collector would tell you that unique things are the most valuable and yet people would piss that away in an attempt to conform to a standard that doesn't and likely can't even exist in reality.
takes all that self loathing pressure right out of one's life - presto!!
I'm not sure if that's true, but what it does do for sure is make for one extraordinarily boring person whose biggest accomplishment is being born. Woo-hoo, let's give you a prize...right after the judges wake up from the coma you put them into.
