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Quote# 72591

Wow, what a great thread idea [if I were President]. Since I get to change anything I want, here are a few I'd start with.

1. Fire Congress
2. Apologize to Israel
3. Stop abortions
4. Bring God back into our schools and every other place they took him out of
5. Make our government about 1/4 the size it is now...its way too big now.
6. Create a law that says, if you pass it Congress, you get to reap the rewards right along with the rest of us, so think before you sign the thing into law.
7. Take better care of our military guys, show them the love and respect they deserve.
8. Bring back the Constitution and all it stands for
9. Make it NOT PC *politically correct* to say even one bad word about God...not sure I worded this one right but you guys get my meaning!
10. Last buy not least..if I was the president I'd be Obama I guess, so I'd fire myself and repent!

cm4jesus, Rapture Ready 110 Comments [4/29/2010 9:58:38 AM]
Fundie Index: 108
Submitted By: Shifty Eyes
WTF?! || meh
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Mister Spak

The president is not allowed to do those things by the constitution. However Hitler, Stalin and PolPot had that much power.

4/29/2010 10:01:08 AM



Guess what? The President does not, nor has ever, had that much power. What you're thinking of is a "dictatorship."

4/29/2010 10:03:09 AM

Smilodon

Uh, ever hear of checks and balances? The President cannot change everything he or she wants because many other aspects of the country are handled by separate branches of the federal government.

4/29/2010 10:03:19 AM

Valohir

Home-schooling results at thier finest.

4/29/2010 10:09:45 AM

oop

Do you realize that 1 and 6 are not both possible?
Also, 4 and 9 contradict 8.

4/29/2010 10:12:59 AM

Conspiracy Therapist

Fuckin' Guvmint!

HOW DOES IT WORK?

4/29/2010 10:13:48 AM

Knotilus

That is like a six year-old's view of what the president gets to do.

4/29/2010 10:16:02 AM

Rumpshaker Slim

Sigh... let's all go through the stupid list together.

1. Congress is an essential part of our democracy.
2. For what?
3. That's right, abortion will magically disapear if you make it illegal.
4. I'm sure constant mention of God will help raise test scores.
5. Enjoy washing down your salmonela infected chicken with some mercury filled water.
6. Wtf? I thought you fired Congress?
7. But veteran's benifits went out when you shrank the goverment.
8. Bring back the constitution...
9. Except the first amendment!
10. And, top it all off with a pathetic attempt at humor.

4/29/2010 10:17:59 AM



"Bring back the Constitution"

By ripping it to shreds and pissing on the remains, by the sound of it.

4/29/2010 10:20:02 AM

Zoo

Someone needs to buy an island and start their own country, since they don't seem to understand how this one works.

4/29/2010 10:20:07 AM

No One

You forgot...

11.) Ban all religions except my interpretation of Christianity

4/29/2010 10:24:05 AM

Wehpudicabok

Fire Congress, bring God into our schools... and the Constitution? Have you actually read it?

(I googled the phrase "constitution, motherfucker? have you read it?" in hopes of finding an appropriate picture, but unfortunately none exists and my photoshopping skills make eyes bleed.)

4/29/2010 10:28:14 AM

Mr Blur

Apologise to Israel for what-letting them do whatever the fuck they want?

4/29/2010 10:29:52 AM

Saccharissa

"Take better care of our military guys, show them the love and respect they deserve."

Like... I don't know... NOT sending them to a hell-hole with faulty equipment to fight an illegal war like your hero GWB did?
I could get behind that one.

4/29/2010 10:37:23 AM

Swede

1. Make sure all kids learn English in school.
2. Improve social studies education.
3. Increase number of diplomats until they are as many as the people in military orchestras. (Yes, there are more members of military orchestras than there are diplomats, according to Swedish diplomat Jan Eliasson.)
4. Uphold democracy, by not firing the government, keeping free speech and not giving the country to the Church.

Apologize to Israel for what? You gave them a country that was not yours to give. Let them handle their own problems.

Does congress have diplomatic immunity or what? Don't the laws concern them too?

4/29/2010 10:39:12 AM

SurfinSeaOtter

THE PRESIDENT DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY!!!

4/29/2010 10:40:51 AM

freako104

Why apologise to Israel? Which god? And you seem to favour dictatorship or theocracy rather than a Constitional Republic

4/29/2010 10:41:57 AM

John

The typical redneck combination of whining and ignorance:

He says ...

8. Bring back the Constitution and all it stands for

But then he says ...

1. Fire Congress - The Constitution specifies how Congress is elected. The President has no power over Congress except to veto.
3. Stop abortions - laws against abortion were ruled unconstitutional. So the only way to do this is to change the Constitution.
4. Bring God back into our schools and every other place they took him out of. Preaching religion in public schools is unconstitutional, so the only way to do this is to revoke the First Amendment.

He says...

5. Make our government about 1/4 the size it is now...its way too big now. and 7. Take better care of our military guys, show them the love and respect they deserve.

But over 1/2 of our budget - every penny of individual personal income tax we pay - is consumed by two things: the military and interest on the national debt. So how do we cut the government to 1/4 of its size and increase spending on the military, too? Default on the national debt?

4/29/2010 10:43:08 AM

Caterina

The only one I agree with enthusiastically is #7. But somehow, I don't think cm4jesus (Cum for Jesus?...snicker) and I are thinking along the same lines there.

4/29/2010 10:43:49 AM

Professor M

@ John --

Well, to be fair, it's quite possible to cut the overall military budget while still taking better care of members of the uniformed services. Cutting out a few gigantic wastes of money designed to funnel profits to defense contractors (not to mention dumping this imperialist shit we've been stuck on lately!) would pay for a hell of a lot of decent VA healthcare.

Somehow, I don't think that's what cm4jesus has in mind, though. (Why is it that whenever someone on the right talks about "supporting" U.S. troops, they mean getting those troops shot at and ordering them to commit war crimes? I certainly hope they never decide that I need their "support".)

4/29/2010 10:53:10 AM

Grand Moff Tarkin

The Imperial Senate will no longer be of any concern to us. I have just received word that the Emperor has dissolved the council permanently. The last remnants of the Old Republic have been swept away. The regional governors now have direct control over their territories. Fear will keep the local systems in line. Fear of this battle station.

4/29/2010 10:58:05 AM

GigaGuess

1. Fire Congress
Translation: Remove a check and balane to allow myself to run roughshod as a dictator.

2. Apologize to Israel
Because they're really just misunderstood, unlike those Palestine meanies.

3. Stop abortions
And watch the number of pregnancy related deaths skyrocket...not to mention botched home abortions.

4. Bring God back into our schools and every other place they took him out of
Fuck the constitution, I have presidency?

5. Make our government about 1/4 the size it is now...its way too big now.
Or just fire 'em all and instate the Church as the government instead?

Oh crap, I probably just gave him an idea...

6. Create a law that says, if you pass it Congress, you get to reap the rewards right along with the rest of us, so think before you sign the thing into law.
Uhm...they kinda do, don't they?

7. Take better care of our military guys, show them the love and respect they deserve.
I can agree with that, so long as funding doesn't eclipse the needs of the country.

8. Bring back the Constitution and all it stands for
That and a bottle of white out, it seems...

9. Make it NOT PC *politically correct* to say even one bad word about God...not sure I worded this one right but you guys get my meaning!
So you're so insecure about your religion that you have to make even speaking ill of it a crime. Wow.

10. Last buy not least..if I was the president I'd be Obama I guess, so I'd fire myself and repent!
*Sigh...*

4/29/2010 11:00:10 AM

JonnyTruant

1. stomp on the Constitution
2. stomp on the Constitution
3. stomp on the Constitution
4. stomp on the Constitution
5. stomp on the Constitution
6. stomp on the Constitution
7. stomp on the Constitution
8. Bring back the Constitution and all it stands for
9. stomp on the Constitution
10. Narfle! I'm funny haha!
*Fixed!

4/29/2010 11:15:14 AM

Pule Thamex

That's cool. Why confine your fantasizing to the hum-drum daily imaginings of trumpets and clasping etc? It's good that you are broadening your horizons and fantasizing about tyranny as well.

Just imagine, you're so well thought of, that you are bound to win the popular vote. Then the reign of terror can start.

4/29/2010 11:21:36 AM

Doubting Thomas

"8. Bring back the Constitution and all it stands for"

Are going to do this before or after you unconstitutionally "fire" Congress, stop abortions, put religion in schools, and make it illegal to say anything bad about God? Funny how you want to uphold the Constitution, but everything else you want to do goes against it.

4/29/2010 11:26:21 AM
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