Home Archives Random Quotes Latest Comments Top 100 Submit Quote Search Log In Forums

Quote# 72700

[It's a FSTDT-CSTDT-RSTDT trifecta! Be sure to look at the whole thing.]

"We wonder today if there are people alive today who have the same bloodline factor that Jesus (Yashua) was born with and I SAY YES. They represent about 10% of the global populations and can be found primarily in the United State but on all continents as well."

"These descendents have a rare blood factor and have prehistoric ancestors that can be found when we track back to an area in the world known as the “Garden.” These original people groups on earth were what we refer to today as the original Scandinavian race. Believe it or not, the oldest mummies all over the world had blonde hair, which also tells us that our original ancestors were Scandinavians. I mean all of us. It does not matter what color your skin is today, all of your original ancestors on earth were Scandinavian."

[It goes on...]



Myron Holter, holybloodline.blogspot.com 42 Comments [5/3/2010 12:28:29 PM]
Fundie Index: 77
Submitted By: Mira
WTF?! || meh
Username:
Comment:



1 2
#1154357
Captain Klamydia

Damn, there goes a few iq points

5/3/2010 1:13:17 PM

#1154361
Lucilius

Does this mean Jesus sounded like the Muppets' Swedish Chef?

5/3/2010 1:30:37 PM

#1154366
Malkyrian


5/3/2010 1:41:33 PM

#1154370
Rumpshaker Slim

Jesus the Viking?

5/3/2010 2:01:38 PM

#1154371
Random Guy


5/3/2010 2:04:57 PM

#1154382
Mister J

For that last paragraph if you substitute "Scandinavian" for "African" it becomes disturbingly accurate. Makes you think...

5/3/2010 2:50:44 PM

#1154411
shykid

T-T-Trifecta!

5/3/2010 3:57:55 PM

#1154475
nazani14

In a book on the Crusades I read that some poor farmers showed up at the court of Baldouin and claimed that they were descendants of James, brother of Jesus. They were given some trinkets and sent away.

5/3/2010 4:52:20 PM

#1154532
Smilodon

In the famous words of Wolfgang Pauli: that isn't even wrong.

5/3/2010 6:32:12 PM

#1154550
Mira

I KNEW IT. Jesus was a fucking viking. Chalk one up for the horde!

5/3/2010 6:47:27 PM

#1154598
Moondog

Holy bloodline, Batman! The Medieval paintings are right! The Son of God DID have blond hair and blue eyes!

5/3/2010 7:48:45 PM

#1154664
Lucifer

Boy, won't they be surprised that their so called blond haired, blue eyed Jesus is actually a dark haired, smelly, hippy-like Jew(If he actually exists of course).

5/3/2010 10:46:35 PM

#1154675
aaa

Yet another white supremacist who thinks that making stuff up will impress somebody.

5/3/2010 11:36:07 PM

#1154697


Jesus Scandinavian?, the Native American Scandinavian?. Give me a fucking break.

5/4/2010 12:29:37 AM

#1154699
Pule Thamex

I guess these people with 'a rare blood factor' never need artificial stimulants or drugs. They're already there, in bonkers land. Still, as long as it keeps them off the streets and in their mothers' basements.

5/4/2010 12:33:57 AM

#1154721
Tolpuddle Martyr

I have serious doubts if there ever was a historical Jesus but if there was this is what he probably looked like.



The Bible & The Truth website describes Jesus like this:If you ran into Jesus today, you would most likely see a very small, black little guy with rugged looks, a muscular posture, dark, curly hair and a large nose.

Probably not a Scandinavian!

Also where, what or who is the United State?

5/4/2010 1:32:03 AM

#1154755
Percy Q. Shunn

The lulz just keep on coming...

5/4/2010 3:51:51 AM

#1154801
LOLWUT

"Believe it or not"

Not the hardest choice I've ever had to make!

5/4/2010 6:24:03 AM

#1154836
werewolf

And the Romans who had conquered and occupied Judea never noticed a physically distinct tribe in their territory?

Must have been invisible, then.

5/4/2010 8:30:06 AM

#1155050
Saladin

So, basically, you're a giant racist with downs. Okey-doke.

5/4/2010 6:35:53 PM

#1155172
Papabear

Jesus' real name was Sven.

5/5/2010 9:26:11 AM

#1155257
Sasha

I find it extremely difficult to believe that Scandinavia was known as the "Garden." I mean, the main reason Vikings started raiding was because it's fucking hard to farm mountains and fjords when it's winter about 3/4 of the year.

5/5/2010 9:12:31 PM

#1155263
HeathenAngel

Son, that's probably one of the BIGGEST and STINKIEST piles of HORSE SHIT I believe I've ever had the displeasure of reading.

5/5/2010 9:57:45 PM

#1155355





What.

5/6/2010 11:08:14 AM

#1155538
Dewey Cheatham

"bloodline factor" -- but Holter never elaborates on just *what* that "bloodline factor" is/could be. FAIL

"The United State"...of delerium? FAIL

Memo to Holter: Blonde hair and blue eyes are RECESSIVE (you obviously fell asleep during biology class), and it's unlikely to have been retained from an "original race." FAIL

5/6/2010 7:18:35 PM
1 2