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Quote# 74052

Neal Horsley: "Before I surrendered myself to the Lord Jesus Christ, I was an absolute hedonist. I smoked dope, I did everything that might feel good.... Hey, Alan, if you want to accuse me of having sex when I was a fool, I did everything that crossed my mind that looked like I..."

Alan Colmes: "You had sex with animals?"

NH: "Absolutely. I was a fool."

AC: "You had sex with animals?"

NH: "When you grow up on a farm in Georgia, your first girlfriend is a mule."

AC: "Ah, I'm not so sure that that is so...."

NH: "That's because you didn't grow up on a farm in Georgia. The fact of the matter is if they have....don't know that you experiment with anything that moves when you are growing up sexually. You're naive. You know better than that... If it's warm and it's damp and it vibrates you might in fact have sex with it."

Neal Horsley, The Alan Colmes Show 87 Comments [6/27/2010 1:00:54 PM]
Fundie Index: 130
Submitted By: Night Jaguar
WTF?! || meh
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Street Sharks

Old but funny.

Anytime I see Horsley on youtube, or read about him or something..... I immediately think to myself "MULE FUCKER".

6/27/2010 1:10:43 PM

Cy

This is either a prime example of lying for Jesus or a prime example of that subset of fundies which assumes all atheists are immoral because if they didn't have an imaginary threat dangling over their heads to make them behave they'd have no moral standards at all.

6/27/2010 1:11:07 PM

clockworkgirl21

I've lived on a farm for 10 years. I've never fucked an animal.

You fail.

6/27/2010 1:12:28 PM

Kat

1. TMI - Why would you share this on national TV no less?
2. Not all farmers have sex with their livestock.
3. You are giving people from Georgia and other areas of the South a bad image.

6/27/2010 1:14:58 PM

dynadin

I am from Georgia...south Georgia even...born and raised on a farm...and never once felt the need to sodomize any of the animals my family and I raised. My first girlfriend was indeed a cold hearted harpie, but she was not a mule. Mr. Horsley, you need serious psychological help.

6/27/2010 1:19:20 PM

Uncle Bubba

@ Kat
3. You are giving people from Georgia and other areas of the South a bad image.

Well, DUH!
Everbody knows y'all sposed to do it with fambly members furst. How else ya gonna pick the right spouse?
'Sides, doin' the animals is mostly jest to prove they ain't no sech thang as evolution.

6/27/2010 1:23:50 PM

D Laurier

This is just bizzare.
I did know people who used their livestock for sexual gratification.
They were all christians though, They all went to church on sunday, prayed before every meal, and married their cousins.

6/27/2010 1:25:20 PM



What I find ironic is Neil's last name.

6/27/2010 1:36:38 PM

Shanya Almafeta

Isn't this a repost?

6/27/2010 1:36:52 PM

phaeton

Horsley, heh.

6/27/2010 1:38:19 PM

myheadhurts

excuse me while I go throw up...

6/27/2010 1:49:25 PM

I read about the afterlife

Hahaha. his last name is Horsley and he has sex with mules.

6/27/2010 2:07:17 PM

What'd I Do

I literally grew up on a farm in Georgia. I never had a girlfriend, but my first boyfriend was a 10th-grader. I never shtupped the livestock. What.

6/27/2010 2:20:34 PM

TGRwulf

LOL. This is amusing beyond words.

6/27/2010 2:22:48 PM

Captain Janeway

What...the....fuck.......

6/27/2010 2:30:51 PM

Allegory for Jesus

"If it's warm and it's damp and it vibrates you might in fact have sex with it."

Quoted for truth!
I'm pretty sure that the rest of what he is saying is bullshit though. Or, muleshit as the case may be.

6/27/2010 2:31:40 PM

Tearlich

I'm at a loss For Wods!

6/27/2010 2:44:14 PM

Rat of Steel

Not being a /b/tard, I'm not always up to date on what's "in" and what's "out" regarding Internet memes, so I'll ask straight away.

Am I right in thinking that this is an ideal place for a resounding "WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN"?

6/27/2010 2:51:12 PM

Imroy

I think this is one of those times when a fundie tries to glorify their religious beliefs by contrasting it with how bad they were before. They think they're making a great argument that trumps everything but just end up making a fool of themselves.

6/27/2010 2:54:52 PM

Old Viking

Head. Messed up.

6/27/2010 3:01:40 PM

Horsefeathers

Holy hell...

For more of Horsley's exploits (non-animal related), check out the Wikipedia article on him.

6/27/2010 3:04:48 PM

vampirehummingbird

So your sisters were always able to outrun you?

6/27/2010 3:14:14 PM

Doctor Whom

To Neal, this says a lot about non-Christians. To me, it says a lot about Neal.

6/27/2010 3:23:04 PM



It's shit like this that makes me automatically think, "No you weren't you fucking liar," when I hear, "I used to be an atheist, just like you! I know how it is."

6/27/2010 3:24:23 PM

DevilsChaplain

Gross but not really fundie.

6/27/2010 3:32:00 PM
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