Quote# 74609

[Re: I'll read the Bible if you read my holy book]

to me that's like someone saying, "i'll take a sip of your ice-cold spring water if you agree to take a sip of my cyanide."

i'd politely say, "no thanks".

ImOnStandby221, Rapture Ready 90 Comments [7/23/2010 10:45:01 AM]
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Philbert McAdamia

@ Rat of Steel
he said 'read', not 'believe'."
To a Raptard, there's no real difference, is there?

They believe without reading.

7/23/2010 6:33:54 PM


..."Holy book" didn't become synonymous with "mind alteration device", last I heard. Again, the Bible is not God's divine spellbook! Why do you keep treating it as such?! Since when is sorcery necessary to teach philosophy?

7/23/2010 6:49:53 PM


What does it say about the strength of their faith that it cannot withstand even the slightest hint of opposition? It tells me that their faith is weak indeed.

7/23/2010 7:15:13 PM


And all the other religions say the same thing about yours... such irony.

7/23/2010 7:20:43 PM


I've read the Bhagavad Gita. I'm perfectly fine and very much not Hindu.

I've also read the Bible. Your ice-cold spring water tastes like shit. Won't kill you, but it's hardly refreshing or useful, especially when the alternatives are so much tastier and better for you.

7/23/2010 7:28:54 PM


to me that's like someone saying, "i'll take a sip of your ice-cold spring water if you agree to take a sip of my cyanide."

Except for the fact that other religious books are not any more or less poison than your own. It's not like you have a problem reading the Jewish holy text.

i'd politely say, "no thanks".

Of course you would. Hell, you can't even be bothered to read your own holy book, much less someone else's. What the fuck were they thinking, don't they know that you are incapable of forming your own opinion and have to be told what your opinion is?

7/23/2010 8:21:44 PM

Saint Mango

*puts away her gravedancing shoes*
That's...that's too bad.

News to me that reading kills, though. I suppose it could if you got a lot of paper cuts while doing it, and they all got infected, or if you were reading while operating heavy machinery, but that would be silly in the first place.

7/23/2010 9:09:13 PM


Anonymous commenter who posted #1184331, bottom of the first page in this thread: WIN.

7/23/2010 9:19:51 PM


@ americaneedsalefthand

Really? They ban you just for being on this web page???? WOW. They really take censorship with a sense of purpose. Which.....is sort of what this guy is saying anyway, in effect, "I wont read your book".

7/23/2010 9:45:22 PM

Mrs. Antichrist

So you're willfully ignorant. Good job, champ.

7/23/2010 10:14:11 PM


Such a comparison is infantile and entirely inappropriate.

I agree however that the bible should be read - critically, not through the rose-tinted glasses of the stupidity of blind faith that block out its inconsistencies, blatent errors and its tales of unmitigated horror. Is not discernment a virtue?

As a book that purports to teach one how to live on the high moral ground, it is not permissible to use on ly the 'nice' parts. It must be taken in its totality. Therefore all the sex and massacres and commandments and abominations must also be noted and included in forming one's overall, conscientious judgement of the book. No fudging allowed! After all, fudging an issue is a form of lying, and that is a sin.

But I know the OP is so brainwashed that reason or logic do not enter into his/her consciousness. So it is a lost case to start with. What a pity that so many in America are in thrall to the money-making machine of fundamentalist religion, with it crystal cathedrals (a cathedral needs a bishop so this is a misnomer!) and totally heterosexual pastors (sorry, filched this a little from a song I heard on You Tube) and above all its sheeple.

7/24/2010 1:27:41 AM

Prof. Bill Hill

"i'd politely say, "no thanks"."

Indeed, that's exactly what you'd say. That's because you are ignorant and stupid like me. You'd also consider alternative fantasies to be like swigging down a flagon of cyanide and would insist on asserting a preference for sticking to your own aerial ballet complete with clasping session and thence onward with a sprightly whoosh to an eternal mansion haunting fantasy.

What a pity. You're ignorance and stupidity would've been ideal for my religious cult. Still, you're in safe hands where you are I've no doubt. Oh well, I'm off for a quick drool to get some practice in, ready for tomorrow's (Sunday's) droolathon. Happy dribbling all.

7/24/2010 3:24:10 AM

Percy Q. Shunn

If your "god" is so fucking powerful, why does it even allow other religions to exist?

7/24/2010 4:17:26 AM

I read about the afterlife

And so, now you'll understand why they won't read the Bible. Of course, you guys are incapable of putting yourself in other people's shoes.

7/24/2010 5:41:05 AM

Bi The Way

Or "I'll drink your pepsi if you drink my coke." I'd still say no thanks to it but really it's all the same crap.

7/24/2010 5:55:38 AM


1. Proving once again that reality is defined by the craziest person in the room.

2. Because your faith is overwhelmed by the fact that you will believe ANYTHING, no matter how nonsensical.

3. Reading the Bible is more like sucking swamp water through a bent straw.

I'm out.

7/24/2010 7:04:41 AM


"to me that's like someone saying, "i'll take a sip of your ice-cold spring water if you agree to take a sip of my cyanide." #

Bad Analogy, much? To my knowledge, there isn't a beverage called 'Reality'. And even if there were, it would kill you... how?

The very fact you're using a computer that came as a result of the father of modern computing, Alan Turing - an Atheist - means you haven't died to date. However, this drink called 'Reality' has a somewhat bitter aftertaste you might not like: Alan Turing was a homosexual.

So you'd better spit out that drink then ImOnStandby221 & everyone on Ruptured Retards. By getting rid of those computers, developed originally by a honosexual.

Oh, and even if (not taking into account said bad analogy of yours) 'twere the case, what you say only serves to prove not only the fact you've never read your Bible, but also you don't have much faith in your 'faith' neither. Something called Mark 16:18. Shall I remind you? (emphasis added):

Mark 16:18 (KJV): 'They shall take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them; they shall lay hands on the sick, and they shall recover.'

But then mayhaps is precisely the reason for said bad analogy: you're too terrified of listening to the hard, solid, uncomfortable facts which are the vital ingredients called Reality, that destroy your precious security blankie called 'Faith'.

7/24/2010 8:01:37 AM


Part the Deux):

But you stay in that nice, safe, sweet comfort zone of yours, ImOnStandby221, like the mindless fundie sheeple you are.

Because when you're on your deathbed, wheezing out your last, realising that your J-man hasn't sucked you off before now, thus the (C)Rapture was a lie all along, therefore everything you'd been taught to 'believe' was a lie, then Reality's gonna bite you in the arse. And then the terrifying realisation will set in, that we Atheists were right all along, and you'll end up cold & rotting in a box.

Further proof of Reality, thus the superiority of not being a fundie like you & your ilk on Ruptured Retards? PROTIP: When the clock strikes midnight tonight wherever you are, it'll prove that one more day the (C)Rapture hasn't happened, is one more day we Atheists are prived right.

"i'd politely say, "no thanks"."

Okay. But it's your funeral. Remember, RR:

You'll eventually realise we Atheists were right all along. Sooner or later.

Besides, to go along with your analogy, Reality tastes infinitely better (and is far healthier) than the venomous & biotoxic sewage that is the Bible:

Yes, as you can see, there's a Health Warning on this Bible (and rightly so too; you'd know why, if you'd actually read* yours, everyone on Ruptured Retards). As with tobacco products, it should be compulsory on Bibles. It's contents are just as cancerous.

*- To quote the great Sci-Fi author Isaac Asimov:

'Properly read, the Bible is the most potent force for Atheism ever conceived.'


"Here's another gem from the same thread:
Tell him you have already found the Truth, and you have no obligation to read anything else. It is not your job to convince him to read anything. If he wants to find the Truth, he will seek it."

They should realise that 'Truth' is purely subjective To quote the founder of $cientology, L. Ron Hubbard:

'What's true, is true for you'

Thus going by the Raptards' own definition, then $cientology is the 'Truth' too. After all, as L. Ron says in his OT-VIII document (which the likes of Tom Cruise Control has paid hundreds of thousands, if not millions of dollars to read for himself):

'For those of you whose Christian toes I may have stepped on, let me take the opportunity to disabuse you of some lovely myths. For instance, the historic Jesus was not nearly the sainted figure has been made out to be. In addition to being a lover of young boys and men. he was given to uncontrollable bursts of temper and hatred that belied the general message of love'

So according to you on RR, that's the truth.. But if you say it isn't and thus acknowledge that it's a lie, then your entire beliefs, which are the basis of your 'faith' is a lie too. Catch-22 can be such a bitch, eh?

Ergo, the superiority of Atheism, which only deals in hard, solid facts. Which are Objective; 2+2=4, and all that jazz. You can't contradict what a kindergartener acknowledges as fact afer all.

7/24/2010 8:02:31 AM

Shadow Phoenix

Isn't is the duty of good Christians to convert people and help them get to Heaven? So even if it's like drinking cyanide, you should still do it if it means helping another.

If you read and like another religions' holy book, that's not poison. If Christianity is truly better, you shouldn't even think of changing, right?

7/24/2010 8:05:19 AM


its as if they would prefer nobody could read that way youd never be poisoned , hearing the word of god and knowing it would be enough

7/24/2010 10:54:28 AM


Yeah, can't be reading the Koran. You might find some similarities.

7/24/2010 11:47:12 AM


What's the matter are you afraid you might find something you agree with?


7/24/2010 12:17:01 PM


Bernie said:
"Except drinking from the Bible is like sipping lukewarm diarrhea."


Gee, thanks for that sickening image. I need to go brush my teeth now.

7/24/2010 12:25:16 PM


"He's very closed minded to hearing the truth. His whole thing is he'll read the Bible and if he likes what he's read, then he'll want to hear more, but in return, he wants me to read his book (I forget the name). I feel very squeamish about that and I wonder now if he's playing some sort of game... Thoughts?"

oh god -.-

7/24/2010 12:52:56 PM

Philbert McAdamia

I'll read your bible if you eat this shit sandwich.
You go first.

7/24/2010 1:01:39 PM

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