Whip me, beat me, boil me in oil, just please don't throw me in the multicultural melting pot!
7/10/2006 9:53:50 AM
Napoleon the Clown
Only 1000 years? Not very powerful...
7/10/2006 1:29:07 PM
If this were not an old post, I would nominate it for a new award: the \"I Want To Be Assimilated Into The Borg Collective\" Award. This person is scary.
7/10/2006 2:01:29 PM
Why? Why rule at all? Why not just sort out the new residents of Heaven and Hell, blow up the planet and be done with it?
And why 1000 years and then just stop? What purpose would that do, other than to give fundies joy in being in charge?
Oh I see.....
1/3/2007 3:22:27 AM
I also can't wait for Jesus to come back.
He and my friends are going to braid each other's hair. :)
1/3/2007 4:01:51 AM
Heck yeah. I can't wait either. Come on Jeebus, we atheists can give you protection from the fundies.
1/3/2007 4:22:14 AM
no more Buddhist beads
Gotta hate those!
1/3/2007 4:35:24 AM
What's the point? If your Jesus will simply eradicate every form of political, social, cultural and religious expression then why doesn't he just take all the people he likes and take them to heaven? That way, he can leave all the atheists and other heathens to live out their lives without fundies. It's a win-win!
1/26/2007 2:58:11 AM
No more freedoms.
No more science
Women living as slaves to men
No more individual love
Yeah, sounds like paradise. I'll probably be glad to be in hell with the INTERESTING people.
1/26/2007 4:08:18 AM
I tell you what. I, for one, can't wait until Jesus comes back to rule with a rod of iron for 1000 years as King of Kings, seated on the throne of David. I just can't wait.
Um, don't quit your day job or nothin'.
1/26/2007 4:29:59 AM
David, I made a graphic just for this kind of post:
1/26/2007 4:48:45 AM
Hate to burst your bubble, but you guys left a lot of permanent emotional scars on Jesus. He's not coming back. I can't even get him to talk to me anymore. My son's become an emo, and it's your fault, humans!
3/22/2007 7:57:28 PM
I can't WAIT to be stoned to death because I disobeyed my parents a few times. It's okay, though! I'll OWN my wife! :D
6/5/2008 2:15:55 PM
Godwin in 5...
7/26/2008 7:00:30 PM
Toward the end: No more every person doing what is just in their own eyes.
No more hypocrisy, you mean?
7/26/2008 7:09:45 PM
But... isn't when jesus comes back the second coming? Which heralds the day of judgment, when all the good christians disappear? So when the "terrorists, murderers, adulterers, sexual perverts" disappear, what does that say about the good christians!?
7/26/2008 7:31:08 PM
"No more New Age teachings, ... no more Quran, no more wiccans, no more communists, no more war lords, no more drug lords, no more terrorists, no more murderers, ... sexual perverts"
Actually, this part sounds pretty good to me - no religion, no war, no stupidity... Too bad the rest of the package sucks.
1/26/2010 12:39:32 AM
No more cutting your hair or beard whenever you want, no more eating shellfish, no more being rude to angels, no more mixing of fibers, no more keeping your own possessions instead of giving them to the poor, no more monetary dealings in churches (or whatever the pharisees did), no more English, only Sumerian and Hebrew, no more computers, no more electricity, no more cars.
If we are all going back to the year of Jesus' death, a LOT of what you believe in is going to disappear, dearie. Most of it was said by Paul, who did most of his work AFTER the death of Jesus.
No more propaganda? What did Jesus spread, when he and his chums walked around for years, talking to people everywhere, if not propaganda.
1/26/2010 1:02:30 AM
So...what is Jesus gonna do with everyone who isn't you or doesn't fit your defintion of 'perfect Christian'? Kill them? Torture them? Concentration camps? What, huh? Tell me!
11/15/2011 5:16:20 PM
Au contraire, you most certainly can wait for all of that. You can wait for an extremely long time. For ever, in fact.
Because it's not going to happen. Never. Not at all. Not even slightly.
11/15/2011 7:23:19 PM
Looks like Jesus might make a better president than Rick Santorum.
11/26/2011 10:49:34 AM
"No more sickos reinventing everything to suit their own selfish purposes."
- There goes David J. Stewart, Brother Randy, Fred Phelps and...dang...just about all of the guys who claim to speak for your god.
11/26/2011 11:02:05 AM