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Quote# 7467

atheist's preoccupation with masturbation... I have seen enough of a commonality of responses on this forum to be genuinely curious.... Do folks become atheists to justify self gratification? or is it just a by-product?

jdlongmire, Internet Infidels 20 Comments [6/1/2004 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 2
WTF?! || meh


1) Masterbation is perfectly normal and healthy.

2) Lots of religious people who aren't of the crazy wack job variety masterbate. Atheists don't have a monopoly on self gratification.

11/28/2006 1:39:11 PM


\"I'm mostly just in it for the masturbation\" will be what I say next time someone asks me why I'm an atheist.

1/2/2007 11:25:10 PM


Hey, you're the one who brought up this whole masterbation debacle.

1/3/2007 12:37:24 AM


I joined atheism for the self-gratification but stayed for the logic and ability to carry on a sensible debate

1/3/2007 1:14:11 AM


Will someone please explain to me the phrase \"killing kittens?\" I read it all the time over at FARK.com, but I'm not picking up the reference.

1/3/2007 1:49:11 AM


cerebulon - Every time you masturbate Jesus kills a kitten.

1/3/2007 3:56:22 PM


We have to do something with all that time we don't spend in church.

1/3/2007 4:02:27 PM


I do it for world peace :)

1/3/2007 5:28:15 PM


I can't stop laughing at the thought of someone whose whole world revolves around masturbation, as if engaging in it is the only thing that matters.

1/3/2007 6:28:45 PM


It's just another variant of the same naive fallacy you see all over the Internet.

That fallacy goes like this: \"If anyone is in any way discernably different from me, those differences consume their lives, comprising their entire identity.\"

So people who suffer this brand of naivete tend to honestly believe that gay people spend all their time having homosexual intercourse, that Democrats spend all their time on politics, and that atheists spend every moment of their lives shaking their fists -- at the Heavens, or in their laps. In all these cases, it's also believed that those are the only things we ever talk or care about.

1/3/2007 6:40:37 PM


cf Mark Twain on Protestant boys who read the Bible...

1/3/2007 7:27:38 PM


Thanks Megan, that's actually not what I was thinking it meant at all. I have never heard that phrase in my entire life. What a weird thing for Jesus to do.

1/3/2007 8:27:40 PM


Actuallly, it's ' every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten. Please, think of the kittens.' God, not Jesus, kills kittens. Jesus is a nice enough guy. It's his dad who has a fixation on killing kittens.

1/3/2007 9:12:27 PM

David D.G.

I suppose that a lot people, when doing this sort of thing, DO think of the kitties.

~David D.G.

1/3/2007 9:59:21 PM

Damn Yankee

Who was it who said every time you kill a kitten, God masturbates?

1/3/2007 10:01:04 PM

The Jamo

How is it that atheists are the preoccupied ones when it's the christians who keep bringing it up? Masturbation is perfectly normal and it feels great; leave it alone already. If you don't want to do it then nobody is twisting your arm.

1/26/2007 2:48:11 AM


Does anyone really think about masturbation unless they're doing it? And even then, the mind is usually on, well... you know. The only people who habitually bring up masturbation as a topic of discussion are the ones who perceive it as being wrong or immoral.

This should clearly be changed. I propose that every atheist make a point of at least once a day discussing masturbation with friends, family, coworkers or, hell, even total strangers!

1/26/2007 2:54:13 AM


ANd yet, time and time again it's been shown that the believers are the biggest pack of wankers in history.

1/26/2007 4:09:35 AM

Langdon Alger

Yes. Only atheists ever masturbate. You figured it out. Next question, dipshit?

1/26/2007 4:27:43 AM


Well, I became an athiest for the wellfare. The masturbation was a pleasent surprise. It's a great welcome basket.

1/26/2007 5:28:39 PM