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Quote# 75201

I was at an arts fair last weekend. I would estimate 43% of the attendees were homosexual. But it's not like I'm counting. CCW, a Murnak FIST holster and Glock 19 means you never have to worry about it.

So this artsy guy with a straw hat and sandals, you know the type, is slowly walking along the booths, pretending to eye the merchandise. Of course, I know what he's really eying. So I position my self among several tents, to maximize my public visibility, and when "he" comes along I engage him, "What exactly are you doing here?"

"I was hoping to find some pictures for my daughter's new apartment", he says. "Well, just keep hoping" I say, letting the bulge under my vest show prominently.

He got the picture. I checked with law enforcement later and they had no complaints of homosexual harassment at the fair that day.

jaytkay, fark.com 157 Comments [8/15/2010 4:26:59 AM]
Fundie Index: 286
WTF?! || meh
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mad the swine

Dear <s>Penthouse</s> Rapture Ready, you won't believe what happened to me at the local art fair...

8/15/2010 4:36:26 AM

Crocz

"Hey, I threatened a guys life today! Hfive!"

8/15/2010 4:39:16 AM

The Lazy One

Are you sure he wasn't really looking for pictures to put in his daughter's new apartment? Because that's kind of what people do at arts fairs.

8/15/2010 4:46:51 AM

The Jamo

I was at an arts fair last weekend. I would estimate 43% of the attendees were homosexual. But it's not like I'm counting.

Well, It actually seems like you are, you know, given that you've arrived at a fairly concrete figure of 43%. People who aren't counting usually round it off to the nearest 10 or something.

CCW, a Murnak FIST holster and Glock 19 means you never have to worry about it.

You Yanks take homophobia to a whole new level, don't you?

8/15/2010 4:51:24 AM

The L

This reminds me of the "stone that keeps tigers away" exchange on the Simpsons.

8/15/2010 5:00:03 AM

Scooby71

"Well, there I was at the local arts fair, and I had a strange encounter.

I think that there was a very repressed militia type trying to pick me up. I made it very clear I had a daughter, and considered reporting him to the police, but figured he had enough issues in his life."

8/15/2010 5:01:59 AM

gaijinlaw

@The L
First thing I thought of. Well, came in a close second to "asshole," anyway.

8/15/2010 5:04:46 AM

loki

This could be a way to find homosexuals for himself. How ells could he find the 43%?

8/15/2010 5:15:58 AM

C_V


yes I'm sure Teh Gheys find you irresistably sexy and want you so badly that they're trolling for you at an arts fair. wtf is a he-man like you doing at a artsy-fartsy fair anyway? especially considering how closely you were evaluating their sexuality.

I'm sure the other attendees are extremely grateful for your single-handed protection of their anal virginity.

8/15/2010 5:33:45 AM

Mudak

So he was looking for something for his daughter. What were YOU doing at the arts fair?

8/15/2010 5:42:20 AM

Jodie

"I was hoping to find some pictures for my daughter's new apartment", he says. "Well, just keep hoping" I say, letting the bulge under my pants show prominently.

FIXED.

8/15/2010 5:43:43 AM

Mortok

Arts fairs! Of course! Why didn't I think of that? That's where the action is. And to think I was wasting my time in so-called "gay" clubs.

8/15/2010 5:59:12 AM

Darn

Are you sure the bulge was under your vest ?

8/15/2010 6:09:24 AM

D Laurier.

Repressed closet homosexual attends art fair in hopes of terrorizing his fellow gays... but only ends up terrorizing an old hippy

8/15/2010 6:30:50 AM

LDM

"I checked with law enforcement later and they had no complaints of homosexual harassment at the fair that day."

Lucky for you, the old guy just minding his own business didn't rat you out.

8/15/2010 6:53:07 AM

Horsefeathers

"I was at an arts fair last weekend. I would estimate 43% of the attendees were homosexual."

I estimate your post to be 100% bullshit.

I'll bet my estimation is better than yours.

"But it's not like I'm counting."

No. Of course not. Not a big, burly manly man such as yourself.

"CCW, a Murnak FIST holster and Glock 19 means you never have to worry about it."

Yes, yes. You've now thoroughly impressed us all with your penis substitute. You can go back to your closet now.

"So this artsy guy with a straw hat and sandals, you know the type, is slowly walking along the booths, pretending to eye the merchandise. Of course, I know what he's really eying."

A fat, inbred redneck wearing a Rebel Flag t-shirt a John Deer hat with his pants down past the crack of his ass carrying a Glock 19 in his Murnak FIST holster pretending desperately to be as macho and manly as possible so that nobody mistakes him for one of them "fags"?

I doubt it.

"So I position my self among several tents, to maximize my public visibility, and when "he" comes along I engage him, "What exactly are you doing here?""

Probably the same thing everyone else at an art fair does--looking at the art.

""I was hoping to find some pictures for my daughter's new apartment", he says. "Well, just keep hoping" I say, letting the bulge under my vest show prominently."

Oh, look. You misspelled "pants" as "vest". You silly bigot you.

"He got the picture. I checked with law enforcement later and they had no complaints of homosexual harassment at the fair that day."

Nor Unicorn attacks I suspect. Guess you kept them in line, too.

8/15/2010 6:58:30 AM



Nobody wants to look at you. Even gay people.

8/15/2010 7:07:01 AM

Cid Highwind

In case this entertaining little tale is true, I'm surprised the guy gave such a polite answer. I probably would have asked the asshole either a) why does he think that what I am doing is any of his business or b) what he thinks I am doing at an ART FAIR. On the other hand, I'm kinda known for my snarky answers to silly questions, so I guess it's just me.

8/15/2010 7:28:19 AM

jsonitsac

So let me get this straight jaytkay, you go around to places where you think gay people might be specifically to harass and intimidate them?

8/15/2010 7:31:19 AM

Philbert McAdamia

Guy goes to art fairs with a Glock 9? In case hoping the gay folks will attack him?

8/15/2010 7:38:00 AM

John

What would you have done if the guy had yelled in a loud voice for everyone to hear "hey, this guy's carrying a gun!"

8/15/2010 7:38:06 AM

Matante

I'm going to guess that the "homo" didn't take note of his "bulge" so his threat went unnoticed and he just passed as kind of weird.
I know if it was me I'd have thought it's where he puts his cellphone and ignored it, so that attempt at intimidating, in addition to hateful and stupid, also sounds rather ineffective.

8/15/2010 7:46:29 AM

London Jew

I thought carrying concealed weapons was illegal in the US?

8/15/2010 7:48:51 AM

Amanda

I'm having trouble believing this. I think troll. No one is that insane. Okay, some of these people are pretty insane, but who carries a gun around in case of encountering a gay person?

8/15/2010 7:54:53 AM

dionysus

I don't know, you sound way more gay than any homosexual I know. I mean going there and searching for people you think are homosexual, striking up a conversation with them, and then showing them your bulge? Yeah, you're extremely gay. Maybe if you came out and became confident in your sexuality you wouldn't have so much desire to express your repressed urges.

8/15/2010 7:58:37 AM
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