Home Archives Random Quotes Latest Comments Top 100 Submit Quote Search Log In

Quote# 75830

Essay: Quantifying Vulnerability to Atheism

We quantify intelligence, health, athletic skills and even musical talent. But more important than those, especially for teenagers, is the vulnerability to atheism. A simply test can quantify one's vulnerability to atheism:

1. Do you frame arguments in terms of what is best for you, as opposed to others?
2. Do you spend more time thinking about yourself than volunteering for others?
3. Do you deny equal time to the Bible?
4. Do you oppose allowing classroom prayer even when everyone in the classroom wants to pray together?
5. Do you think atheists have achieved more intellectually than non-atheists?
(add more)

If your score (or the score of a loved one) is "yes" on more than half of the questions, then you (or a loved one) is highly vulnerable to atheism. Beware of the depression and anxiety that typically follows.

Andy Schlafly, Conservapedia 59 Comments [9/7/2010 5:51:30 AM]
Fundie Index: 100
Submitted By: Night Jaguar
WTF?! || meh
Username:
Comment:



1 2 3
Serph-no-Okami

1. No I don't think I do actually. I try to think in terms broader then "myself and only myself", it's called empathy.
2. If counting thinking about my future, then... No not even then actually, since my education is somewhat aimed at helping others by doing something I enjoy doing.
3. I wouldn't deny it time equal to time dedicated to the Torah, Koran, and all the other nice little books people love to claim as undisputed truth. But that's not what you lot want to hear, right?
4. No I don't. I oppose mandating prayer in class, even if only one student doesn't want to. If you want to pray, pray. Don't force others (you know, like your Jesus said).
5. Not necessary, but only because atheism as it exists today (in the outspoken way) is fairly new, so it's hard to compare from a historical perspective. But when it comes to fundamentalists vs. non-fundies then yes, the normal people have the lead by far.

So I'm not vulnerable to atheism despite being atheist (and always being attracted to atheism) and yet I myself and even other people often say that I'm practically immune to depression and anxiety because of my outlook on life. Go figure.

9/7/2010 6:00:42 AM

agentCDE

Oh, plenty of believers feel that same depression and anxiety, Andy.

It comes from realizing just how stupid, insane, and evil the ultra-fundy sector is.

9/7/2010 6:03:56 AM

WWWWolf

::whips out the red pencil::

> 3. Do you deny equal time to the Bible?

::crosses out::

3. Do you devote as much time for Bible study as you do for other activities?

> If your score [...] is "yes" on more than half of the questions, then you [...] is highly vulnerable to atheism.

::crosses out::

If you [...] answered "yes" to more than half of the questions, [...] then you [...] are highly vulnerable to atheism.

All right, Andy, you can go back to preparing that awesome writing course of yours. Do be sure to keep your largely defensive weapon of gun at hand - you are not paranoid when you say the liberals are everywhere.

9/7/2010 6:13:38 AM

Boudicca

This is what happens when a wife and mother spends all of her time out on the road telling other women to stay home and be wives and mothers instead of taking her own advice and raising her kids herself.

Poor Andy. The cognitive dissonance he experienced growing up permanently warped his brain.

9/7/2010 6:19:16 AM

TGRwulf

1- Mirror, mirror.
2- Not all atheists are greedy bastards like you Andy. If you knew how much money is donated by rich atheists every year you'ld probably have a heart attack.
3- Um, if you're an atheist you don't believe in the bible numb-nutz.
4- Prayer has never been banned from schools, only school LED prayer, because that breaches seperation of church and state.
5- Um, no actually. There are plenty of theists or deists (Albert Einstein for example) who've done groundbreaking things. "Science knows not religion" as I've once heard it put.

Also, I'm an atheist and I'm usually very happy and quite hyper thank you very much.

Sorry Andy, try again?

9/7/2010 6:27:02 AM

dionysus

1) Nope. Quite the opposite actually.

2) Nope. In fact, I've been told by others that I need to take care of myself a little more and learn how to say no to some help requests so I don't wear myself out.

3) Equal time? Where? In biology class? Then yes. For the same reason I deny equal time to astrology in physics class.

4) Yes and no. I don't support teacher lead prayer but if every other student wants to get together before class and waste their time talking to an imaginary man then I'm not going to stop them. After all, it's their right.

5) Nope. Religious people are in the majority and as such we expect them to have more contributions. It's simple matter of proportion.

If your score (or the score of a loved one) is "yes" on more than half of the questions, then you (or a loved one) is highly vulnerable to atheism.

Odd, I said "yes" to less than half of them and I'm an atheist.

Beware of the depression and anxiety that typically follows.

Oh, sorry, I don't recall any depression. Must have missed that part. Oh well.

9/7/2010 6:57:11 AM

Justanotheratheist

1. Sometimes, certainly not always. That's normal, stop pretending that you're a fucking saint.
2. Same answer.
3. I give the Bible the same time as I give the Stockholm telephone directory. I live in South Africa - you work it out.
4. If everyone voluntarily (and I mean voluntarily) wants to, that's fine by me. However, the risk of peer pressure suggests that it's better that they don't pray. Aside from the fact that prayer is meaningless, why do you have to pray as a group? Can't God take more than one message at a time.
5. No. However, their achievements are very often in no way linked to their beliefs.

And I am neither anxious nor depressed, thank you very much. Try again, Andy.

9/7/2010 7:15:55 AM

Her3tiK

1. Do you frame arguments in terms of what is best for you, as opposed to others?
How does one phrase arguments for things like universal health care, less religious killings, homophobia, and racism in a way that's only beneficial to themselves?
2. Do you spend more time thinking about yourself than volunteering for others?
Why is volunteering the only way to help other people?
3. Do you deny equal time to the Bible?
I give it the same amount of time you give the Qu'ran
4. Do you oppose allowing classroom prayer even when everyone in the classroom wants to pray together?
If I'm part of said class, how can everyone want to pray?
5. Do you think atheists have achieved more intellectually than non-atheists?
They've got nothing keeping them from pondering difficult questions in terms other than "did god do this?", so yes.

Christ, you're an idiot.

9/7/2010 7:19:00 AM

Mister Spak

1. Do you frame arguments in terms of what is best for you, as opposed to others?
2. Do you spend more time thinking about yourself than volunteering for others?
3. Do you deny equal time to the Koran?
4. Do you oppose allowing classroom prayer even when everyone in the classroom wants to pray to a different religion?
5. Do you think your imaginary friend can beat up other peoples imaginary friend?

If your score (or the score of a loved one) is "yes" on more than half of the questions, then you (or a loved one) is highly vulnerable to fundieism. Beware of the depression and anxiety that typically follows.

Fixed.

9/7/2010 7:34:05 AM

John_in_Oz

Andy, your idea of developing an AQ test isn't as bad as your usual shit.
But just as you did with Wikipedia and the Bible, you are attempting to pervert something that's already been done better.
The IQ test is already a better indicator of which children will turn out Atheist than your proposed system.

9/7/2010 7:42:17 AM

Night Jaguar

Apparently Andy thinks an encyclopedia should have Cosmo-like quizzes.

Now see if you have a Reagan or Palin personality!

9/7/2010 7:50:11 AM

D Laurier

Huh?

9/7/2010 7:56:12 AM

christian leftie

1. Nope.
2. Nope.
3. Deny? Not literally, bu I suspect in the implications of teh writer, probably. This is a poorly worded question. Also , I doubt Mr Schlafly would count the Nag Hammadi Codex, so I'll go for an overall "yes" to the implied question.
4. I do. If the pupils are in the classroom, they're there to learn. If they want to pray together in the playground off their own back, all the more power to them.
4. I think religion is irrelevant in this sphere. Given that the questions are either/or, I'll go for "yes" as I disagree with the implied question.

So, as a Christian, my beliefs make me vulnerable to Atheism.

Of course, this is where the likes of Schlafly think they're speaking for all Christianity and anyone disagreeing isn't really a Christian.

9/7/2010 8:14:14 AM

Allegory for Jesus

1. No. I make decisions based on what is best for me while also considering what is best for others because ultimately the latter can result in the former .
2. Yes. Show me a person who claims otherwise and I'll show you a person who is lying. Especially since "thinking" is easier and a more frequent occurrence than action in general, let alone a specific one like "volunteering".
3. What does this even mean?
4. Yes, in that the classroom is for learning, and that this prayer could not be conducted by the teacher. No, in that if it was done before class formally started and the students conducted it themselves, it should be perfectly acceptable.
5. No, they have not achieved more. It is simply that atheism is the more justifiable position. That is all.

As for anxiety and depression: I've had that since before I even knew anything at all about religion. And God only knows that someone famous for obsessively working on a website that brings only shame to the people whose religious and political positions he shares shouldn't be the one to start throwing stones on the matter of mental disorders.

9/7/2010 8:33:06 AM

Sarah

We quantify intelligence, health, athletic skills and even musical talent. But more important than those, especially for jerks, is the vulnerability to fundamentalism. A simply test can quantify one's vulnerability to fundamentalism:

1. Do you frame arguments in terms of claims you pulled out your ass, as opposed to actual facts?
2. Do you spend more time thinking about how people different from you are evil than helping all people?
3. Do you deny equal time to evidence-supported arguments that don't happen to fit your prepackaged worldview?
4. Do you force people to pray when they don't want to?
5. Do you think making up thin rationalizations for belief in your god is a bigger intellectual achievement than discovering how new species come into being?
(add more)

If your score (or the score of a loved one) is "yes" on more than half of the questions, then you (or a loved one) is highly vulnerable to fundamentalism. Beware of the stupidity and meanness that typically follows.

9/7/2010 8:34:30 AM

anti-nonsense

in my experience the most selfish self-obsessed jerks on the planet are religious fundamentalists.

9/7/2010 8:35:05 AM

nutbunny

"A simply test can quantify one's vulnerability to atheism:"

1. Are you selfish?
2. Are you selfish?
3. Is Bible reading not your favourite hobby?
4. Are you scared by the Phalanx of TRUE CHRISTIAN(TM)s at school who oppose you and your faith, even if you have none?
5. Do you think you're cleverer than us?

"Beware of the depression and anxiety that typically follows."

....that typically follows Christian harassment

9/7/2010 8:39:21 AM

Swede

Too bad your brain is not vulnerable to correct spelling.

1. No, I try to find the one which is best for the highest amount of people, even if it doesn't include me.
2. Thinking about myself? Why would I be doing that?
3. Equal time to what? Studying the Koran?
4. Classroom time is for education, not prayers. The kids can all pray in the school-yard before class, if they want to.
5. Yes. Rational people tend to use their intellect more, religious people use their imagination more.

Just two "yes", then. Guess I'm not vulnerable to atheism.
How many years after becoming an atheist does this depression and anxiety occur? I've been an agnostic for most of my life.

9/7/2010 8:43:18 AM

Pup

"2. Do you spend more time thinking about yourself than volunteering for others?"

I have a feeling that the majority of the world is 'guilty' of this, if 'yourself' is allowed to include your immediate family and close friends.

9/7/2010 8:48:10 AM

Anon-e-moose

Essay: Quantifying Vulnerability to Right-wing Fundamentalist Christianity

We quantify intelligence, health, athletic skills and even musical talent. But more important than those, especially for teenagers, is the vulnerability to fundieism. A simple test can quantify one's vulnerability to fundieism:

1. Do you frame arguments in terms of what is best for you, as opposed to the logic and facts of others?
2. Do you spend more time thinking about yourself than volunteering for others*?
3. Do you deny equal time to Dawkins' "The God Delusion"?
4. Do you force classroom prayer even when not everyone in the classroom wants to pray together?
5. Do you think Andy Schaftafly have achieved more intellectually than atheists?
(add less)

*- George Clooney organised a fundraising telethon - totalling $300 million - to help Haiti. Has Andy Schaftafly done anything remotely equalling this? PROTIP: George Clooney is an Atheist.

If your score (or the score of a loved one) is "yes" on more than half of the questions, then you (or a loved one) is highly vulnerable to Fundieism. Beware of the depression, anxiety, egotism, closed-mindedness (especially when presented by the incontravertable facts that contradict everything you say, do and think), and overblown sense of self-importance that typically follows.

fixed

The phrase 'Shiny, shiny mirror' exists for a reason Andy Schaftafly, you cunt-for-brains.

9/7/2010 8:57:53 AM

observiNG

I never felt happier than when I realized that I had no god to fear and no dogma to follow. What was that anxiety and depression you are talking about?

9/7/2010 8:58:11 AM

Rapax Pringer

1. Don't you guys do that all the time? And no.
2. Well, thinking is a more frequent event tham volunteering, but I do donate from time-to-time, provided I have the money.
3. Lolwhut?
4. If everyone wants to pray, that's fine with me. However, if you're going to FORCE me and everyone to pray, then I'll kindly get the fuck out of the class.
5. Hard to really say, but considering modern times, I'd have to say yes.

Huh. So I'm atheist. WOAHWHUT. Atheists are supposed to be unhappy and depressed? Wowzers, I am doing it completely wrong!

But seriously, Assfly. Not all atheists are depressed. We're pretty content with our lives. It's asshats like you who are making it hell for everyone. Not just us.

9/7/2010 9:45:52 AM

The Duelist

1. Do you eternally recycle the same fairy tales over and over to defend your views?
2. Do you fantasize over mental images of your enemies being burned and tortured for all eternity?
3. Do you read and believe the Bible to be the literal Truth?
4. Do you demand that classroom prayer be mandatory, even when everyone else doesn't want to pray(90% of the time)?
5. Do you think that Fundamentalists are more intellectually advanced than atheists?
(add more)

If you answered "yes" to more than half of the questions, then you(or a loved one) is highly naive and gullible, and vulnerable to Fundamentalism. Take care to protect yourself(or a loved one) from the bite of a Fombie(undead, retarded Fundamentalist), as sustaining this injury will rot your brain and render you impervious to logic, reason, and reality(plus, you'll be driven to feast upon the brains of non-Fombies).

9/7/2010 9:52:38 AM

Berny

1. No, I have empathy.
2. Since it benefits me to aid others in the long term, I spend enough time ensuring this.
3. The Bible gets enough airtime from morons like you. I don't give it the time of day since I read the damned thing. It deserves nothing more.
4. If you mean teacher led prayer and mandatory, you already know the answer to that one, Assfly.
5. Nonsensical question since you stack the deck with scientists who lived before our origins were more clearly defined by recent discoveries (Newton for example).
As to your blanked statement that atheists are more prone to depression and anxiety, I would as for citation on that. I'm pretty sure Christians get depressed and anxious too, and often about stupid non-existent crap like the End times.

9/7/2010 10:08:36 AM

myheadhurts

1) yes and no = 0.5

2) no, enjoy volunteer work and stay at home mom = 1

3) no, actually read it regularly = 1

4) yes and no. I would not stop someone from praying. I am against teachers or administrators guiding prayers = 0.5

5) yes and no, if you take all of human history, theists win hands down. In regards to the upper levels of modern science, theists are vastly outnumbered. = 0.5

Total = 3.5/5 Hmm, even if I didn't read the bible regularly, it looks like your little test has problems.

9/7/2010 11:35:30 AM
1 2 3