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Quote# 75853

Atheist doctor: I think it is time we ended your life now.

Patient: Doctor, I have no health insurance. If I die now, I will never be able to pay you back.

Atheist doctor: Well, upon further deliberation, I think you should fight this condition with every fibre of your being. And if I were you, I would also call my friends and family and ask if they would loan me some money.

Conservapedia, Conservapedia 80 Comments [9/7/2010 6:00:21 AM]
Fundie Index: 123
Submitted By: Anedac
WTF?! || meh
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#1203846
agentCDE

Let me tell you something: it's not atheists who stopped that free-health-care-for-everyone bill.

9/7/2010 6:06:59 AM
#1203847


Is making up strawmen the only thing these guys can do?

9/7/2010 6:07:11 AM
#1203862
Adel Khoury

Ha ha! It's funny because atheists are inhuman monsters!

9/7/2010 6:16:39 AM
#1203875
TGRwulf

Wait, what? How would you pay him back even with insurance if you're dead??

9/7/2010 6:29:46 AM
#1203884
Big Jilm

Actually, that's more of a description of a Capitalist Doctor. As if believers are excempt from greed.

9/7/2010 6:37:35 AM
#1203898
Anna Ghislaine

What was that? I couldn't hear you over my free healthcare.

9/7/2010 6:51:37 AM
#1203904
Giveitaday

Atheist doctor: I think it is time we ended your life now.

Why would any doctor advocate someone end their life just for the hell of it? Moreover, what does atheism have to do with it? Why would someone who believes that this life is the only bite at the apple that one gets be encouraging others to end their lives? It makes no sense whatsoever.

Patient: Doctor, I have no health insurance. If I die now, I will never be able to pay you back.

Since when does health insurance cover physician assisted suicide?

9/7/2010 7:02:11 AM
#1203913


and this is what passes for a full essay on conservapedia.... o.O

explains a lot

9/7/2010 7:13:48 AM
#1203916
dionysus

Creationist doctor: I think we should pray instead of using medicine.

Patient 1: Doctor, no offense but I'd much rather use modern medicine.

Creationist doctor: AHHHHH! PERSECUUUUUTION!!!! YOU'RE PERSECUTING MEEEEE!!!!!

Patient 1: *leaves and finds a real doctor*

Patient 2: Okay, I'll do it. I trust in the power of God!

Patient 1 = alive
Patient 2 = dead

9/7/2010 7:16:41 AM
#1203918


Why, for the love of (deity), has no-one done a real DDOS on that site?

9/7/2010 7:18:21 AM
#1203923
Lithp

I was waiting for the Fundies to get a hold of this.

9/7/2010 7:21:10 AM
#1203926
Her3tiK

Insulting these people feels like taking candy from a 2yr old.

9/7/2010 7:22:18 AM
#1203935
Mister Spak

Christian doctor: I will summon the power of Almighty God to drive out the evil spirit in you.

Patient: I need to change doctors. Does the one in the next office use reality based treatments?

Christian doctor: He uses evolutionary vaccines!! Stay away!!

Patient makes whooshing sound as he leaves at high speed.

9/7/2010 7:28:17 AM
#1203941
John_in_Oz

No, you're telling it wrong. It goes:

Did you hear about the patient whose Doctor gave him six months to live? He couldn't pay his bill, so the Doctor gave him another 6 months.

9/7/2010 7:33:07 AM
#1203946
Zeus Almighty

Like the swallows gather in Capistrano, the stupid gathers in Conservapedia.

9/7/2010 7:34:43 AM
#1203957
WWWWolf

For those who are not in the know: The guy who wrote this page took gigantic editing binges to produce a ton of masterful articles like this. People keep wondering when does he eat or sleep. The fact that his humour skills, which weren't stellar to begin with, started to degrade at some point when he was editing several days in a row should come as a surprise to no one.

He also went and plastered flying kitties on the Conservapedia front page and, through a witty photograph stolen from the web, compared Christianity to a house fire that the atheists try to stop with a tiny tiny bucket. Back away slowly.

9/7/2010 7:46:44 AM
#1203962
D Laurier

Huh?

9/7/2010 7:54:17 AM
#1203987
Boy Wonder

Hey, remember when a bunch of religious right folk said that universal health care was ungodly?
Yeah.

9/7/2010 8:18:48 AM
#1203989
Allegory for Jesus

So that's how hospitals work: you're kept alive indefinitely if you can't afford to pay for the treatments that keep you alive! Man, hobos must be immortal!

Also: British spelling of "fiber"? Alert the Schlafly!

9/7/2010 8:21:35 AM
#1203990
nutbunny

You prefer a Muslim Doctor, I understand :-)

9/7/2010 8:23:37 AM
#1203992


Atheist doctor: I think it is time we ended your life now.

Except no doctor who takes the hippocratic oath of "first do no harm" seriously would actually recommend this to a patient. Not one.

Your straw man is flawed by your illogical premise. Too bad, so sad, better luck next time.

9/7/2010 8:24:51 AM
#1203995
Anon-e-moose

"Atheist doctor: I think it is time we ended your life now.

Patient: Doctor, I have no health insurance. If I die now, I will never be able to pay you back.

Atheist doctor: Well, upon further deliberation, I think you should fight this condition with every fibre of your being. And if I were you, I would also call my friends and family and ask if they would loan me some money."

(*Turns off video projector; switches on lights*)

And this, children, is what happens when you allow your mindset to be influenced by only watching Fox News, without seeing the bigger picture provided by other news organisations with different editorial agendas - or lack of such...

Child A: '... Via the BBC and Reuters?'

Correct! A gold star for you on the 'Thinking for Yourself' chart.

Child B: 'Mr. Schaftafly hasn't read books on social history, especially in the 20th Century, because then he'd know about the UK's National Health Service'

That's right. And why is that?

Child B: 'Because Andy Schaftafly thinks the world only consists of the USA.'

Correct! A gold star for you too. And thus is his worldview completely biased towards his own poisonous right-wing agenda - which shall avail him and his kind naught, as the reality of Obama's Health Reform plan sets in: purely to make available healthcare to at least 40 million Americans who previously couldn't afford it.

The concept of 'rationing healthcare' as described by Andy Schaftafly doesn't enter into it.

Child C: 'But if the patient was a Christian like Andy, why would they need healthcare in the first place? Surely he or she could simply 'pray' their affliction away?'

Go to the top of the class! Andy certainly didn't think of that, did he?! Now let's all point and laugh at the silly little fundie, blinded by more than just his 'faith'.

Child D: 'And he dares to call us 'Closed Minded'?! Hee-hee-hee!'

And you've just summed up how stupid Andy Schaftafly and his right-wing way of 'thinking' really is. My word, I'm going to need more stick-on gold stars from the stationery cupboard, the way you all are thinking for yourselves...

Child A: '...Unlike Andy Schaftafly!'

*Everyone laughs*

You don't know how right you are...!

9/7/2010 8:28:43 AM
#1204000
Swede

Most other western countries have some kind of state-sponsored health-care plan for its citizens. These countries are often less religious than the US, as well.

Check out the movie Sicko by Michael Moore, where US citizens travel to Cuba to get the medical care they need, but can't get in the US (even though they HAVE health insurance), and the medicine they can't afford at home. All of it free of charge. That's atheistic medicine for you, Andy.

9/7/2010 8:33:20 AM
#1204005
Headache

Conservapedia - the brain of USA!
Glenn Beck - the mouth of USA
Sarah Palin - the asshole of USA

9/7/2010 8:37:41 AM
#1204006
Simple Harmonic My A...

Can't we just simplify our lives and post Conservapedia in it's entirety?

9/7/2010 8:38:50 AM
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