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#1210615
TGRwulf
Andy, we all know you're dumb as a rock. Using big words doesn't fool us into thinking you're smart.
9/22/2010 6:46:08 AM
#1210616
Horsefeathers
First of all, supposed godmen have been doing this particular parlor trick for quite a while now and were doing it before Jesus supposedly did it. I'm sure that Sai Baba could conjure you up a whole wine bottle from a handful of sand and some grapes. So, what makes Jesus so special because of his version?
Second, quantum mechanics doesn't work that way, jackass. But then you likely feel you're an expert on such topics, just as you do every other topic, so there would be no sense pointing that out to you.
9/22/2010 6:55:53 AM
#1210619
breakerslion
It's an f-ing parlor trick you dipshit. How many people have to repeat it before you admit that it isn't magic? It's fraud!
Water: H-O-H
Wine: A complex mixture of water, alcohol, esters, organic components of grapes, Lactobacillus vini, Saccharomyces cerevisiae, and other agents of fermentation. It is a product of the controlled decomposition of juice pressed from grapes. You don't happen across it. You find it in barrels, casks, bottles and boxes because humans made it and put it there.
Maybe you should try to explain it with cold fusion, or wormholes to a parallel universe.
Andy: ever the dipshit.
9/22/2010 7:06:30 AM
#1210620
nutbunny
@ breakerslion:
He is Jesus.
He can do anything.
Chemistry means nothing when God decides to fuck around.
9/22/2010 7:11:48 AM
#1210621
Pule Thamex
I can quantum mechanically convert wine into piss. Andy Schlafly, without the aid of quantum mechanics, can convert English words into shit. Although, I do believe he uses a specially designed mental illness heavily centred on those twin pillars of idiocy, namely egotism and gullibility. This mental illness coupled with a delusion that involves religious fervour (gullibilty) and extreme right-wing ideology (egotism) makes it easy for him to be fluent in shitese. Of course. if anyone had those tools at their disposal, anyone could talk shit.
9/22/2010 7:17:44 AM
#1210624
aaa
There are very few words potent enough to express my awe at conservapedia.
9/22/2010 7:24:25 AM
#1210631
Thinking Allowed
That or everyone was so drunk on the cheap stuff that Jesus was able to convince the party he did his trick.
9/22/2010 7:55:14 AM
#1210633
grad student
This confuses me because I've had so many Fundies explain to me that he turned the water into grape juice because alcohol is the root of all evil.
9/22/2010 8:01:08 AM
#1210634
London Jew
That's a bit of a quantum leap, there, Assfly.
9/22/2010 8:08:03 AM
#1210636
GodotIsWaiting4U
You don't understand quantum superposition. At all. Don't you reject relativity too?
9/22/2010 8:18:36 AM
#1210637
Canadia
Uh, right then....
9/22/2010 8:21:33 AM
#1210639
Night Jaguar
According to Andy, not only does Jesus utilize quantum mechanics, but he also
disproves relativity!
9/22/2010 8:25:37 AM
#1210642
dionysus
Wow, and this isn't even the most ridiculous claim on that page. Apparently the ancient Hebrews being homophobes counts as advanced medical knowledge and the Bible is correct about pi being equal to 3 because for some reason it decided to express it to one significant digit.
9/22/2010 8:43:26 AM
#1210643
Boy Wonder
This is the most pointless bit of uninformed misinformation I have ever seen. File it under WHO CARES?!, Shlafly.
9/22/2010 8:52:33 AM
#1210647
Ok, it was a miracle, that is, an extraordinary event, not meant to be repeated, that happened to give testimony of Jesus's gradiosity. What on earth has quantum mechanics have to do with that?
9/22/2010 9:22:08 AM
#1210651
Haseen
Similarly, the air Schlafly breathes isn't converted into bullshit until the moment someone observes it.
9/22/2010 9:26:41 AM
#1210663
Godbuster
IF quantum mechanics worked like that, there'd be a LOT less traffic on the 5.
9/22/2010 10:15:16 AM
#1210664
Berny
Andy's understanding of quantum mechanic would fit on a postage stamp in 36 point type.
When are these fuckwits going to understand that there is no science in the Bible.
You can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear, or in this case, garbage in - garbage out.
9/22/2010 10:15:32 AM
#1210671
Tardis
John 2:7-9
7Jesus said to them, "Fill the waterpots with water." So they filled them up to the brim.
8And He said to them, "Draw some out now and take it to the [a]headwaiter." So they took it to him.
9When the headwaiter tasted the water (J)which had become wine, and did not know where it came from (but the servants who had drawn the water knew), the headwaiter called the bridegroom,
10and said to him, "Every man serves the good wine first, and when the people (K)have drunk freely, then he serves the poorer wine; but you have kept the good wine until now."
Yep...describes quantum mechanics to a "T" - Heck, I wouldn't be surprised if this passage wasn't the incentive for science to study quantum mechanics (Snicker snicker)
9/22/2010 10:43:05 AM
#1210672
WMDKitty
*beat*
BWAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *choke* *gasp* ...inhaler!
9/22/2010 10:44:51 AM
#1210675
Allegory for Jesus
Under quantum mechanics, your date is a hermaphrodite until you see their genitals.
9/22/2010 10:59:14 AM
#1210678
Tiado
Uhhh... What? That didn't make any damn sense. I guess that's the end result of when a fundtard tries to get all scientific in order to explain something in a book of myths.
9/22/2010 11:05:53 AM
#1210679
John
Where does John 2:9 say the water/wine was in an indeterminate state - neither water nor wine - until it was observed by the steward?
9/22/2010 11:17:43 AM
#1210683
AuraTwilight
So God can't observe quantum states? What?
9/22/2010 11:32:59 AM
#1210710
anevilmeme
You wouldn't know quantum mechanics if it sat on your face and wriggled around.
9/22/2010 12:48:17 PM
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