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Quote# 76240

The second chapter of the Gospel of John describes the conversion of water into wine by Jesus at a wedding reception. Intuitively one would expect the conversion to occur before anyone tasted the drink. But under quantum mechanics, it is not until observation that matter acquires a definite state. John 2:9 describes this precisely as required by quantum mechanics, and the KJV misses this subtle issue of timing in the conversion.

Andy Schlafly, Conservapedia, Biblical scientific foreknowledge 84 Comments [9/22/2010 3:43:34 AM]
Fundie Index: 113
Submitted By: Night Jaguar
WTF?! || meh
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TGRwulf

Andy, we all know you're dumb as a rock. Using big words doesn't fool us into thinking you're smart.

9/22/2010 6:46:08 AM

Horsefeathers

First of all, supposed godmen have been doing this particular parlor trick for quite a while now and were doing it before Jesus supposedly did it. I'm sure that Sai Baba could conjure you up a whole wine bottle from a handful of sand and some grapes. So, what makes Jesus so special because of his version?

Second, quantum mechanics doesn't work that way, jackass. But then you likely feel you're an expert on such topics, just as you do every other topic, so there would be no sense pointing that out to you.

9/22/2010 6:55:53 AM

breakerslion

It's an f-ing parlor trick you dipshit. How many people have to repeat it before you admit that it isn't magic? It's fraud!

Water: H-O-H

Wine: A complex mixture of water, alcohol, esters, organic components of grapes, Lactobacillus vini, Saccharomyces cerevisiae, and other agents of fermentation. It is a product of the controlled decomposition of juice pressed from grapes. You don't happen across it. You find it in barrels, casks, bottles and boxes because humans made it and put it there.

Maybe you should try to explain it with cold fusion, or wormholes to a parallel universe.

Andy: ever the dipshit.

9/22/2010 7:06:30 AM

nutbunny

@ breakerslion:

He is Jesus.
He can do anything.
Chemistry means nothing when God decides to fuck around.

9/22/2010 7:11:48 AM

Pule Thamex

I can quantum mechanically convert wine into piss. Andy Schlafly, without the aid of quantum mechanics, can convert English words into shit. Although, I do believe he uses a specially designed mental illness heavily centred on those twin pillars of idiocy, namely egotism and gullibility. This mental illness coupled with a delusion that involves religious fervour (gullibilty) and extreme right-wing ideology (egotism) makes it easy for him to be fluent in shitese. Of course. if anyone had those tools at their disposal, anyone could talk shit.

9/22/2010 7:17:44 AM

aaa

There are very few words potent enough to express my awe at conservapedia.

9/22/2010 7:24:25 AM

Thinking Allowed

That or everyone was so drunk on the cheap stuff that Jesus was able to convince the party he did his trick.

9/22/2010 7:55:14 AM

grad student

This confuses me because I've had so many Fundies explain to me that he turned the water into grape juice because alcohol is the root of all evil.

9/22/2010 8:01:08 AM

London Jew

That's a bit of a quantum leap, there, Assfly.

9/22/2010 8:08:03 AM

GodotIsWaiting4U

You don't understand quantum superposition. At all. Don't you reject relativity too?

9/22/2010 8:18:36 AM

Canadia

Uh, right then....

9/22/2010 8:21:33 AM

Night Jaguar

According to Andy, not only does Jesus utilize quantum mechanics, but he also disproves relativity!

9/22/2010 8:25:37 AM

dionysus

Wow, and this isn't even the most ridiculous claim on that page. Apparently the ancient Hebrews being homophobes counts as advanced medical knowledge and the Bible is correct about pi being equal to 3 because for some reason it decided to express it to one significant digit.

9/22/2010 8:43:26 AM

Boy Wonder

This is the most pointless bit of uninformed misinformation I have ever seen. File it under WHO CARES?!, Shlafly.

9/22/2010 8:52:33 AM



Ok, it was a miracle, that is, an extraordinary event, not meant to be repeated, that happened to give testimony of Jesus's gradiosity. What on earth has quantum mechanics have to do with that?

9/22/2010 9:22:08 AM

Haseen

Similarly, the air Schlafly breathes isn't converted into bullshit until the moment someone observes it.

9/22/2010 9:26:41 AM

Godbuster

IF quantum mechanics worked like that, there'd be a LOT less traffic on the 5.

9/22/2010 10:15:16 AM

Berny

Andy's understanding of quantum mechanic would fit on a postage stamp in 36 point type.
When are these fuckwits going to understand that there is no science in the Bible.
You can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear, or in this case, garbage in - garbage out.

9/22/2010 10:15:32 AM

Tardis

John 2:7-9
7Jesus said to them, "Fill the waterpots with water." So they filled them up to the brim.

8And He said to them, "Draw some out now and take it to the [a]headwaiter." So they took it to him.

9When the headwaiter tasted the water (J)which had become wine, and did not know where it came from (but the servants who had drawn the water knew), the headwaiter called the bridegroom,

10and said to him, "Every man serves the good wine first, and when the people (K)have drunk freely, then he serves the poorer wine; but you have kept the good wine until now."


Yep...describes quantum mechanics to a "T" - Heck, I wouldn't be surprised if this passage wasn't the incentive for science to study quantum mechanics (Snicker snicker)


9/22/2010 10:43:05 AM

WMDKitty

*beat*

BWAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *choke* *gasp* ...inhaler!

9/22/2010 10:44:51 AM

Allegory for Jesus

Under quantum mechanics, your date is a hermaphrodite until you see their genitals.

9/22/2010 10:59:14 AM

Tiado

Uhhh... What? That didn't make any damn sense. I guess that's the end result of when a fundtard tries to get all scientific in order to explain something in a book of myths.

9/22/2010 11:05:53 AM

John

Where does John 2:9 say the water/wine was in an indeterminate state - neither water nor wine - until it was observed by the steward?

9/22/2010 11:17:43 AM

AuraTwilight

So God can't observe quantum states? What?

9/22/2010 11:32:59 AM

anevilmeme

You wouldn't know quantum mechanics if it sat on your face and wriggled around.

9/22/2010 12:48:17 PM
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